BXYDEUS:
even at minimal strengths the boy was an unattainable force to be reckoned with. but there were times, especially of late, when it was necessary to conserve his energy for much more dire pursuits that lay ahead. the sands of the hourglass were dwindling and even he couldn’t deny the change that was already taking its root inside of his ancient but youthful body.
he hardly acknowledge the presence of his second as he drew near but kept his gaze almost trance-like stare into the purple flames of the campfire’s blaze. lost in thought but not too lost to hear and to know what was on the minds of each and everyone of his boys tonight but one more than the others–always his thoughts were the loudest of them all.
“nothing i can’t handle.”
he’d been handling it for decades; what’s a few days more in the scheme things? besides the one for which he sought for for so long was so close within his grasp he swears he can feel his essence all around him.
“i’m always thinking, felix. i can’t afford not to, not now anyways. should be more concerned about yourself. your asking speaks more volumes than naught.”
a lingering pause followed by a soft release.
”you see me, don’t you?”
there was no denying the fact that his strength and vitality of youth were diminishing. the magic that had once coursed through his veins like a power house was now sluggish and in turn was making him weaker and making it harder to hide it. damn it all to hell.
“the TRUTH, fee.”
his own gaze now turns to the fires dancing with the lost boys as his leader responds, arms crossing over each other atop bent knees, and head lolling to the side to rest against his shoulder --- there were times when he was FEARFUL for peter. nights spent thrashing about in nightmares with dangers untold threatening their very EXISTENCE, the very cherished sight he was taking in right now, with nothing but distant MEMORIES to be LOST. there were moments when he knew his worries could not be known to the rest of the lost boys despite how his heart ACHED to stop playing their mindless games to instead help maintain their KINGDOM. . . so why was it that, speaking to pan now, things felt so s l o w? those rapid, screaming feelings VANISHED to leave a dream-like sensation as peter’s voice carried through the air. it was something he never understood about his leader; how no matter the situation, just his state of BEING could ease the uncertainties locked away in felix’s heart.
he peers up at pan when the question is asked, taking in the sight of the flames’ light dashing across his features. his mouth is slightly agape for a second before a soft “yes” passes from his lips. another pause before he adds, ‘ but you know as well as i do that they don’t know any better. ‘
