May 19
things my girlfriend has said that made me bust my ass laughing:
βprotein, bitchβ
βshut the fuck up about my alarmsβ *goes back to sleep within seconds*
βyou look like a pint of guinnessβ
βhaha! thumbless freakβ (to their mamβs cat)
βyaaa!!!β (referring to crackhead kid)
βheβs baldingβ
*sends reel of old granny playing an accordion with a dog dancing in the background*
βyour the dogβ quickly followed by
βin hindsight that might have been a wild thing to say, i meant it as a complimentβ
