Tell me what music you listen to and I will tell you who you are.
It started with stuff like Linkin Park and O-Zone. Basically what was the top in the charts at the time. There was no real access to music, no way to explore for the 8 year old boy and songs that simply stuck in his head were enough for him.
Then he started wearing loose hoodies thanks to his aunt buying him a garment which he did not simply inherit from his brother. His mom bought him a ring. He never really understood why, but why not. And he was wearing a norwegian crown on his neck, which he got from his brother. And he was listening to KoЯn (which he now, thanks to his two years of Russian, always reads as [koian]). A nu-metal band. A mixture of his previous favourites, but darker, heavier. A dark, lonely recluse, slightly bullied, not really understanding where he is and what is happening around him.
As his tastes were turning darker and heavier, adding bass more and more, it all snapped when his first friend from this strange new place let him listen to a festival mix of a drum’n’bass DJ. This thing was like pure energy poured into his ears. It was amazing and he wanted more. And so, he asked someone he knew and he got him his top classics from this genre. And it was great. Some was amazing, some didn’t really fit his tastes, but it was all great and new. Electronic music.
He gave his ring to a friend and never saw it again. And his PE teacher made him tear off his medallion from his neck. He was angry, but he was also getting energetic.
As he gained access to the internet, he started looking for his own music, now mostly centered around this new genre of his. And this was a long and amazing period. It was just pure fun. Even though sometimes the previous day was the same as the following one and the previous verse was indistinguishable from the next in the same manner, he never felt angry or sad. It was simply an energy fueled period of carelessnes and fun. He started buying himself his own clothes. And people were telling him that it’s totally not his style and that it’s not like him, but nobody knew what is like him, because they have never seen him wear something he chose. And he never did either. Up until that time.
But all great things must come to an end. Against his own will and his utterance “I will never get bored of this, I will listen to this forever.”, he didn’t. But he didn’t change style, he.... stopped having style. He thought he was into electronica now... And then that he was into electroswing. And after that he thought he is into indie... But he realized that he isn’t into anything. He is into the stuff he likes and that’s fine. At first, he believed that it went against his own ideology of trying to distinguish himself from the others, not being like all the other sheeple and listening to what is currently the popular whim, but he realized he isn’t quite like that either. He just likes music. He doesn’t like a specific genre, he just likes good music. Anything that he deems worthy is to his liking. And so he started to spread out and enjoy the wonders of the musical world. He still had specific favorites of course, but in the end, it didn’t really matter. And so he listened to some strange czech pop-electronica band, Mozart, dark french-house electric duo, Pink Floyd... And he thought oh how interesting he was, because he has such a diverse repertoire. But it took him years to realize that nobody cared.
He was now his own man. Music stopped defining him, he was defining his music. And he liked that. It did take away a feeling of being part of something bigger, but the feeling of freedom was just as compelling. Besides, he now had greater problems than his music. He was starting to think about other things, which just seemed more important to him. School, relationships, future. Perhaps they were, perhaps they were not, but what does it really matter. These were his priorities. And at the age of 19, he said to himself that he did not become adult at 18, but 19. That 19 somehow changed him. He never really knew why, what happend, but something in him just snapped and he started thinking about the world a bit differently and about his life as well. And he still believes that, two years later.
And here he is now. With a collection of vinyl presses of all his favorite albums and artists, yet no time or energy to listen to them. He doesn’t really listen to music. He rather listens to books or podcasts. The man that loves being alone and hates human singing in songs now mostly uses his ears to listen to... People speak. He just doesn’t have time for such silly things like music. There are more important, pressing matters at hand. Or are there? He thought so. Until today. For today, he listened to Ludvico Einlaudi in his shower.
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