Personality swap! But specifically directed at Ender. Make him the exact opposite of how he is now, more nice and caring and less bitter and cruel. Just for a day or two of course, but it'll be a nice change of pace for Lav.
- Mystery anon
//doing something similar but quite different
Honestly, he's been far more reclusive than usual. No one seems to have really noticed, seeing as it's not... unusual for him to suddenly hole up. But Ender's been worse recently. A bit more harsh. Maybe it was the silence that made everything seem calmer, but it seemed as though Ender's silence made his presence that much prevalent.
And it was more disturbing that Lav didn't really entirely process the fact that Ender HAD disappeared. The thoughts didn't go with him. That just meant that... well, he's probably going to have these thoughts even when Ender's gone. Which is a horrible thing to know.
So here he is. Rotting in bed. Listening to Ender whisper in his ear for the billionth time. You'd think he'd eventually realise that this whole thing is just for him to react. That maybe, Lav would just... stop listening.
But it's really, really hard to when that's just how you think as well. All he could really do was just sorta lay there and listen.
...but then there was a shift. It stopped. Just for a moment. And a soft, gentle voice came out.
Oh, uhm, hello Lav!
...huh. Wh... this is new.
Lav held genuine surprise towards this new voice. Although it sounded familiar, it was one he didn't hear that regularly. Or... nearly at all, to be perfectly honest.
I do apologise, I haven't really been the greatest help to you at all... But! Uh! This curse- uh- it should fix things! For a bit, at least. Just for a little while.
...hang on, hang on, what's- what's going on?
Ah, right, I'm Del. Someone tried to make Ender the exact opposite of how he is. And... well, being his direct counterpart makes that fairly simple!
...ah.
I know, uhm, it's a lot to take in. But- but I'm here to just... give you a break. Just to let yourself relax, just for the time being.
Despite his scepticism, there was a wave of serenity that washed over him. For a moment... For a little longer than a moment, there was quiet. There wasn't anything that bothered him. His own thoughts weren't even tormenting him.
And he felt himself tear up.
...re...really? It's- this is going to stop?
Just for a while. I'm... I'm really sorry, Lav, I wish I could do more.
No... No, Del, you've done-
He took a deep breath in, smiling, seeming far more tired than he anticipated. He didn't realise how much was just... bottled up in there. For some time, all of his inner turmoil was just... Gone.
You've... done enough, really. Thank you. Honestly, thank you so much.
He finally felt some shred of motivation to do something, or at the very least, just go downstairs. Maybe this'll be nicer than he thought.
--
So... why haven't I heard you before? Or at least, seen you around NEARLY as abundantly as the usual prick?
Ah, uhm... That's partially my fault, and also... not? Uhm... Ender seems to have taken a particular... liking, to you, specifically. And for some reason, I can't... seem to really talk to you when he's latched on to you like that. At least, not any more than a normal person can. And even if I did, I have a feeling that it would be far more overwhelming than it would be of any help.
...Yeah, that makes sense. I uh... I didn't mean it as an insult, sorry if it came off like that. I dunno, I'm still tryna make heads and tails of this whole situation.
He put a hand through his hair, sighing.
...I have a feeling once you leave, it's going to be overwhelming regardless. Y'know, with the whole... soulcrushing guilt?
Yes, well... You aren't wrong about that. I didn't have much jurisdiction over this though. Personally, I would've much rather met you like a normal person. With the whole handshake and maybe a cup of cocoa.
You sound like an absolute angel of a person, huh?
Well, funny story, really...
--
He does have a cup of cocoa, sitting on the couch, sipping it slowly and letting the warm envelop him.
That's it, let yourself relax. You've deserved it.
He smiled a little to himself, squeezing his cup ever so slightly.
This is awfully nice, y'know. It doesn't even feel "too" nice. I don't feel paranoid. It's so strange.
Of course!! I don't want you thinking how you usually do... No offense, but it doesn't seem entirely healthy, nor does it seem to benefit anyone.
Well, you aren't wrong, I'll give you that. Thanks for this.
Of course, I'm just- uh, just doing my job!
Not really. I don't think you needed to do all this, but here you are. Uh... can I see what you look like? This seems a lot more... impersonal. It's nicer, don't get me wrong, but with Ender, it's more like... he feels like me. With this, it just... kinda feels like I've got a nice friend in my head.
And as per his request, Del materialised next to him, their wings small and hovering for the time being, along with their halo. The cloven feet and scarf really complemented their colours, and in general... They just seemed really soft and sweet. A tail seemed to rest on their lap, and they smiled towards Lav, completely innocent, with no ill intent whatsoever.
Is that any better?
Yeah... I think it is, at least. Wanna just hang out?
That does seem quite nice.
Want that cocoa?
--
Now he's catching himself cleaning the library, dusting the shelves, cleaning his room... Everything he's WANTED to do, but never really had any spirit left in him to do it. And now it felt... so much easier than it did before.
I appreciate the company a whole bunch. Feel like I haven't said that enough.
No need to thank me! Although I do feel as though I haven't really done much, have I?
Done much? Del, are you kidding? I mean, for the first time, in genuine YEARS, I don't have any sort of background thoughts stirring up in my head. I don't have a nag of every single thing that I'm doing being "wrong". I know it's not going to last, but honestly, I think this is the closest thing I've got to actual peace, man. At least by myself. Being able to just... think to myself, without some pompous arsehole chiming in, it's just.... the bar is so low, but it's a bar that you've managed to overcome and I can't thank you enough for it.
...really?
Yeah, really.
...how long do you have left?
...I'm afraid not long.
Figured. Well... I mean, it's not the end of the world. You can always visit. Just come in for a chat. I don't even care if it's unannounced, considering I have uninvited guests around all the time.
He chuckled to himself. Ah, he's hilarious.
I will... certainly try, although do understand-
That it'll be difficult? Yeah, somewhat not surprised, considering my luck. Don't stress, man. 's nice just to know that there are anons who don't want to kill me given the chance.
...I see.
Yeah, I know, low bar, but again, gotta take the small wins, y'know?
Del smiled again... They're glad to see that Lav's at least thinking slightly more positively now. They've done something right.
I'll be looking after the rest of your friends, don't worry. Bubble is a good friend of mine, actually. She gave me my name.
Really??? Damn, why did she never tell me about you?? That's crazy. I'll talk to her about it at some point.
Lav looked back at Del, seeing them slowly disappear.
See you around?
...hopefully. It was nice talking to you Lav. I'll see you another day.
They both smiled and waved, and a sickening transformation of Del's innocent, lamb-like body slowly twisting and lurching into a very recognisable figure made Lav's stomach churn. The horns pierced through the cloud-like hair, and the halo shattered into oblivion.
A thought popped into his head.
Perhaps one day you'll be worth loving.
...and there it is again.
