Almost a year an a half ago I like everyone else had facebook. Key word HAD, I think I have already complained about this if I have i forgot lol and need to vent once again. Some time in June 2016 while traveling to Italy I lost my phone in a plane change in germany. no ones fault but my own. When we got to our hotel in Rome I called sprint and shut everything down. I mean EVERYTHING, you get it . When we got back from Rome I got a new phone and so forth I had facebook for a short time (I think, don't 100% remember). What I do remember is facebook telling me that it (facebook) was still active on that lost phone. So I went to the help center and facebook prompted me to shut it down. When I shut it down I got locked out completely from my pc, phone, tablet, all of it. when I asked facebook for help again they told me that “I can make a new facebook, but there isn't much they can do.” I took a step back and thought to myself “That is way too much work! I didn't really miss facebook when I was in italy. I've gone this long without it. It doesn't look like anyone really missed me, I didn't really miss them. If they want to get to me they have my number.” My friends to this day ask me “when am I getting back on, are you going to make a new one, what are you going to do?” I say to them “I don't miss it, I don't want the hassle of making a new one, no one talks to me on facebook anyways so what's the point?” Even my mom asks me “Don't you miss talking to family and friends on facebook?” I honestly told her “Nope I don't miss it those who are my real friends will text me they have my number. same thing from family if they really want to reach me they know my number. I don’t see what the big hullabaloo is!”
I remember when I got my first pre-pay cell phone. I loved that thing, I was only allowed to have a few numbers in my phone. I was constantly changing the numbers so I could text and call friends and family. That was the rage, texting, texting in class, lunch, dinner, and so on. When did cell phones phase out? When did landlines become a thing of the past? Why is it if I want to get ahold of someone I need facebook? I don't get it I don't miss it if anything it just frustrates me. why do I need facebook so you can get ahold of me when you have my number? you have my email, you have everything you need. Yet people are getting mad at me because I'm some how “unreachable” just because I don't have facebook. How does that even add up? At this point I feel like a weight has been lifted. “Fine,You know what I honestly dont miss it! I don't plan to get it back! If you want to deem me unreachable that's fine not like we would talk even if I did have facebook back!”
To me facebook was a platform where everything was a competition “my horse is bigger than yours.” I was always feeling one upped, I was always feeling like a muted voice. If anything facebook made me feel depressed and dark. I’d post something it would seeme like one one cared. I’d message a friend feeling like I was butting in their lives. In my own denial facebook made me feel like a no one, that i didn't matter that no one cared. I'd be screaming and everyone would keep going on. It got to the point where unless it was my birthday or a holiday I wouldn't hear from anyone for months, and years. I would constantly ask myself “why do i bother? what's the point?”. At one point it got very dark for me “No one cares, no one hears me, no one talks to me. I could be hurt who would notice? I could be dieing and who would notice? I could be dead who would notice?”
I kept all of this to myself I was fighting a battle within myself. So when I lost my phone and spent a month without it I felt free, I felt less burdened, I felt better somehow. I focused on me, on my child, on this beautiful world we live in. Before I knew it I was over it, I was over facebook, I was over that dark feeling. So why would I want that feeling back? I don't! I can't wait till facebook phases out, like msn messenger , aol messenger , Yahoo messenger, and all those others. I dared my mom to go without facebook she couldn't really do it. her brother got back surgery and went straight to facebook I was like “Call him or his wife, he’s your brother.” She was like “ I will once I message “X,Y and Z”’ on facebook first.” I said to her “How does that even make sense? why don't you just call?” I couldn't understand so I walked away. A few minutes later I hear my mom on the phone with her brothers wife. When she was finished with the call I sat next to her and she said “You had a point.” She was able to get more info from His wife then from facebook.
I like to think of it as “I gave up on facebook.” Like I was in some sort of relationship with it. If I am to be 100% honest I can tell you that with much research and pressing of buttons. I know how to get back on my facebook , I know how to fix my facebook, I know now what to do. But I refuse and I’ll just let it sit there with “no” access to it. I feel like it's a dirty secret and I can't share that with Anyone of my friends because I know they would not understand, they would not get it. If I just gave a sliver of hope of getting back I know only two of my friends would be all over me like white on rice. One friend I see often enough I don't see the point. The other friend I text like a normal person and don't see the point. I don't see the point in fixing my facebook? Why would I fix my facebook when my world is fine without it?
If you feel this way I suggest you give up on facebook, let go of it Real friends will always be there for you. All I suggest is it that you try it. It may not be for everyone that's fine to what works for you.
Hoped you enjoyed my vent.
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