Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@putastrology-blog
reblog this in 30 sec or your lips will disappear in 2016
I ignored this once and the juvederm in my lips dissolved
the signs and what they fall in love with
aries: compassion, passion, caring words, thoughtful gifts
taurus: meaningful moments, passionate conversations, pretty smells, common interests
gemini: kept promises, stargazing, deep talks, trust, honesty
cancer: sweetness, honesty, pretty eyes, emotional trust
leo: calm counterparts, veracity, entertainment, late night movie marathons
virgo: vulnerability, peace, gradual relationships, communication, quality time, sensitivity
libra: masculinity, kisses on the cheek, meaningful gestures, eyes
scorpio: mystery, commitment, truthfulness, strong bonds, a good sense of humor
sagittarius: generosity, femininity, flowers, small talk
capricorn: faithfulness, happiness, sharing secrets, dancing
aquarius: softness, emotional closeness, laughs, personality
pisces: hand holding, impartialness, observant minds, selflessness, organization
The Signs on a Saturday Night
Aries: probably shitfaced at a rock concert beating people up
Taurus: listening to music and sipping tea, possibly crying to exaggerative pop punk
Gemini: either out too late talking about their feelings or on the phone at 3 am
Cancer: drawing a picture or taking a nap
Leo: in some parking lot with hoards of people trying multiple times to make everyone laugh
Virgo: laying in bed with an old laptop contemplating life and checking social media
Libra: in a friend's attic (but by the outlet so they can charge their phone and use it at the same time)
Scorpio: sitting in the corner of a wild party wondering when they get to go home
Sagittarius: going on a midnight drive or to explore an alleged "haunted location"
Capricorn: either finishing homework ahead of time so they don't have to do it later or shopping
Aquarius: protesting, rioting, supporting local theater, or sitting on the floor eating a bagel
Pisces: either asleep, drunk, or playing with a dog
what would you die for?
aries: passion
taurus: money
gemini: patience
cancer: love
leo: passion
virgo: perfection
libra: injustice
scorpio: secrecy
sagittarius: adventure
capricorn: accomplishment
aquarius: optimism
pisces: your dreams
caring for your love's sign
aries: let them be in charge, remind them that you won't leave, give them space to release their boundless energy, never forbid them to speak their mind, promise them the world in return for their time, learn to move quick, don't be afraid to be bold and loud
taurus: touch them constantly, worship their lips and eyes and skin, give them perfume, carry them over a puddle, hold their umbrella for them as well as the door to the car or their home, massage them and tuck them into bed, listen to what no one else wants to hear them say
gemini: speak, listen, run after them if they leave, don't be afraid to shout or sing along, nudge them, tickle them, beat them playing video games over and over and over, playfight, race in the streets, laugh at their jokes, praise their ideas, never say no, always say yes, never stop moving and dancing and spinning, give them a million kisses a second
cancer: hold them tightly against your chest, press your lips to their ear, slow dance late into the night, kiss them deeply, make their bed, don't hold back, ever, speak from your whims and impulses, let them see the workings of your heart, let them read your mind, carry out your promises, ride the fights out with diligence, compromise, keep them close
leo: call them beautiful and handsome and adorable, compliment their flaws, lift them to the sky, forget yourself in their presence, bite their lower lip, paint them, write them immortal into your poetry, listen to the rhythm of their heart, show them off, tell everyone that they are yours
virgo: take care of yourself and your body first, don't ignore their signs and clues and hints and teases, respect their hard work, drown yourself in their stories and sweaters, make their home yours, be flexible and find leeway, forgive, forget, remember every date and every hour, cooperate, talk about your future, hold each other accountable, keep expectations high, don't fall into the slump of routine
libra: be polite and speak kindly, find their sweet spots, hold their hand, take them out at night all the way until the morning, dedicate songs to them, learn their hobbies, idealize and romanticize, be a spectator to their life, a witness to all their important moments, be their biggest fan and their closest confidant
scorpio: lock away their secrets, look them in the eyes, stare and hold and breathe, breathe into each other, mold yourself into them, spread yourself out, let them have all of you, drop away your walls, taste them and let them taste you, be honest, only honest, be your most instinctual self only for them, protect them with your strength and your love even if they forbid you to, fight for their attention, keep up
sagittarius: cherish your time together, make each moment exciting, be spontaneous, adventure together, support them consistently through their journey and obstacles, surprise them, build a tremendous array of inside jokes, play board games and take them to new places, never stop challenging them
capricorn: be their source of comfort and acceptance, show them your dedication, validate their emotions, take them seriously, watch movies together, find your routine, bake things for them, gift them self-care products and roses and chocolates, speak without restriction, love gently and carefully
aquarius: recognize their uniqueness, call them different, tell them they're nothing like you've ever seen or will see again, treat your love as if it's a once in a lifetime moment, minute, second, a beat, be their hope, give them attention, be patient, tread carefully around their heart, move slowly, then quickly, then all at once, be their best friend, their newfound family, but don't tie them down
pisces: change their world, flip it upside down, open their eyes to new ideas and worlds and feelings, make them laugh like no one ever has, tell them stories, be their muse, support their endeavors, remind them to keep going, wait for them patiently while they come back to reality, make everything feel wild and pure and unreal
*note: also check moon and venus*
Mars in the Houses
1st House: Strong sexual and confident energy around them, openly agressive and probably have a hard time walking out of a fight, fiery personality, courageous, independent, youthful and daring. Explosive and assertive, they consider spontaneity something essential.
2nd: House: Ambitious when it comes to making money or acquiring possessions and prefer a slow pace when they’re at it, they can become explosive when they feel insecure and defend their values fervently. Possessive. When they see something they want they’ll do anything to get it. Can be careless with money and prone to addictions.
3rd House: They speak their mind eagerly and can get worked up when people don’t agree with their ideals, they like to share their knowledge (maybe a little too much) and can be very inpiring when they want to. Curious. They have no problem expressing their anger verbally. Focus all their energy in communication.
4th House: Intense emotions concerning their household, protective of their family but maybe holds grudges against them, volatile and sensitive. Relationships may be short lived or mainly sexual. Strong of spirit, don’t let anything bring them down. Prone to burying their anger, even when they feel it deeply. They feel more energetic at home.
5th House: Strong sense of pleasure and actively pursue romance, making them usually take the first step. Puts a lot of energy into the search of pleasure and entertainment. Playful, dramatic and affectionate. Changes of partners often, discipline is hard for them and they can be childish. Needs freedom. Very creative.
6th House: Born workaholics. Loners, teams irritate them. They get upset when people criticize their job, making them a bit intolerant. Very skilled at organizing and logical abilities. Always trying their best because of their impatience for success. They put all of their energy on their work. Rutinary people.
7th House: The native’s spouse will be of an eruptive and competitive nature. They might also be that way too. They consider their partner’s body of huge importance and will probably do activities of excitement and risk with them. They do not like dealing with the law and might be on court more than once. A strong sexual energy lies within them.
8th House: Intense feelings, desires and act on their emotions. They might be reckless or show little fear towards death. They have trouble with love and shared money. They can act impulsively, based on their instincts and are very closed off about their childhood. They put their energy into the occult and helping others.
9th House: Open minded, sexually playful and energetic. Blunt and optimistic. They know what they want to achieve in life and pour all their energy into it. Usually get heated on arguments about their thoughts and ideals. Sex is important for them. Passionate and have a love for travelling. Prone to big egos.
10th House: Success is their fuel, they are natural leaders and they desire to be admired by their intellect. Very serious even as children, they only aimed to the future. Their father figure might have been problematic for them. Probably have to work on their superiority attitude.
11th House: Sociable. They complete their ambitions through networking with people. In order for them to feel like they belong somewhere they have to be seen as unique by others. They feel the need to achieve something no one else has and need excitement in their lives.
12th House: Energy is stifled and there’s a fear of assertion. People might have not encouraged them very much. They tend to work in secret and act behind the scenes. They have a tendency to think rather than act. With time they will come to believe in themselves, but for that they have to work on their self-steem and confidence. Maybe they see sexuality as a taboo.
The Signs Post-Apoclypse
ARIES:
Relationship Status: Single, but has a huge crush on their trainer.
Survival Probability: 9/10, if they could just figure out how to use their weapons right.
TAURUS:
Relationship Status: Widowed, their revolutionary lover was attacked but they somehow escaped.
Survival Probability: 10/10, but they feel empty inside without someone to share everything with, and a person with nothing to love has nothing to lose.
GEMINI:
Relationship Status: In Love, (with their lover who’s on the good side) but is constantly swallowing their feelings deep down inside to maintain their badass composure.
Survival Probability: 5/10, as they keep switching what side they’re on, they weigh out on their survival vs. the masses.
CANCER:
Relationship Status: Mutual Crushing, with their lifelong best friend, lowkey still waiting for the right time and place to confess their feelings (even though it’s the fucking apocalypse).
Survival Probability: Eh, they’re kind of in denial about the whole thing, and their s/o has to keep reminding them not to do stupid stuff.
LEO:
Relationship Status: Your Relationship Goals, currently kicking ass with their partner in crime, have a ship name coined by their revolutionary followers, but both would secretly sacrifice one another to become a martyr.
Survival Probability: 9.9/10, because they’re feeling a little bit insecure today.
VIRGO:
Relationship Status: ???????????
Survival Probability: It Was Nice Knowing You, they’re too selfless and keep trying to track down everyone they know, if they would just prioritize themselves they’d make it out on top.
LIBRA:
Relationship Status: #Doesn’tHaveTimeForThat Crap3k00
Survival Probability: 50/50, They’re an icon to the people, the voice of reason, and therefore has tons of allies, but they’re newfound enemy of the power-hungry majority and therefore has a shit ton of enemies. (she’s your great great great granddaughter, who’s doing fine, arguably)
SCORPIO:
Relationship Status: It’s Complicated, isn’t that enough?
Survival Probability: ?????, they’re the leader of a new black ops organization, fueled by greed and selfishness and secrets, but will they take out the bad guys or the good ones?
SAGITTARIUS:
Relationship Status: Single and Mingling, trying to have the most fun they can because let’s face it, they’re not gonna last too long.
Survival Probability: Who Cares, they make the most of their time anyways.
CAPRICORN:
Relationship Status: Star Crossed Lovers, for the media.
Survival Probability: 7/10, was raised in privilege but had strain away after developing their own sense of self, has a lot of people mad at them for not sticking with tradition.
AQUARIUS:
Relationship Status: Waiting For A Miracle, isn’t really into commitment.
Survival Probability: In For The Long Run, is really focusing on bettering themselves, but is kinda pushing people away at the same time.
PISCES:
Relationship Status: Flinging it Up, using their attractiveness to use others for top-secret information, kinda doesn’t feel guilty about it #sorrynotsorry.
Survival Probability: 10/10, has their shit together, is a super cool spy and is hanging with hot lovers all the time.
Bad Mars
Aggression, Ambition, Action, and Anger (or a total lack thereof); may I present to you the negative aspect of Mars in the signs…
Aries: The Warlord; selfishly looks for ways to serve the ego and libido; excessively competitive; wrathful and consuming temper with violent hostility; hot-blooded, thoughtless, and intense; undomesticated tactics; faces oppositions, strife and struggles.
Taurus: The Hebetude; unresponsive enthusiasm and dull energy; temper is slow but rampaging; driven by sensual pleasures and solid security, difficulty balancing impulses and self-indulgences; lacks ability to forgive and forget.
Gemini: The Sparkplug; curiosity clouds ambitions, resulting in stuttering pursuits driven by varied superficial interests; irrational impulses and childish temper; fidgety, fickle, and unreliable; always looks for the easy way to do things.
Cancer: The No-Hoper; represses anger and clings to the past; laziness and lack of confidence forces reliance on other people’s strength; unhappy, depressive, and defensive; driven by emotional security, does not expect success.
Leo: The Peacock; demands dramatic physical expressions to prove dominance and make an impression; vain and shallow, driven by enormous superiority complex; exaggeratedly passionate; ruined by arrogance and self-worship.
Virgo: The Lemon; cranky and acutely analytical; zero-ins on failings and weaknesses, deteriorating the ambition; motivated by an obsession with perfection; harsh, callous, and bitter; spiteful temper; hindered by extreme criticism and anxiety.
Libra: The Loiterer; never outwardly aggressive or openly pushy, uses others; avoids direct confrontation and action by weighing every option; restless, easily agitated, and sneaky; ambition is sidetracked by procrastination and cerebral vacillation.
Scorpio: The Punisher; desires to fanatically push self and others to the extreme with challenges and tests; motivated by seething resentment and wrath; proud, guarded, and self-destructive; lazy and vengeful, lack of forgiveness.
Sagittarius: The Hotshot; omnipotent and bloated ego believes self is untouchable and impervious to damage; immature, disillusioned, and self-important; temper is massive; wild impulses and lack of self-control overpower true views of reality.
Capricorn: The Emperor; trouble discerning between assumptions and reality; doubtful, limiting, and contemptuous; obsessive in pursuits driven by material achievements and respect; calculating, stalwart, and cruel; rigorous and ruthless control, with no mercy.
Aquarius: The Wave Maker; crafty and erratic ambitions easily sidetracked by an unknown; agitator who protests and disrupts all forms of boredom; edgy, fixated, and excessively progressive; enraged by glitches in logic and plans.
Pisces: The Busted Flush; insecure underachiever wastes promising potential on worthless pursuits; work shy and unreliable; mooching deadbeat, dependent on external motivation and inspiration; temper is bankrupt and non-threatening; detrimental deception replaces direct confrontation.
Think of the signs in your birth chart as voices...
Your rising sign is the voice you speak with, the voice others will always recognize you by.
Your sun sign is the voice deep inside you, regulating you, repeating certain key phrases over and over.
Your moon sign is the voice you laugh with, the voice you tell secrets with, and the voice that tells you it’s time to cry.
Your mercury sign is the voice in your head, the one that reads for you when you’re alone, and shapes your ideas into sentences.
Your venus sign is the voice that warms you, the softer one you use around that special person.
Your mars sign is the voice that excites you, the one that gets too loud sometimes, and the one saying those things you wish you could take back.
Your jupiter sign is the voice that tells you to do better, be better, grow. The one that inspires you and humbles you.
Your saturn sign is the voice that tells you to just go do it. The one that tells you when to keep your head down and when to have fun.
Your uranus sign is the voice you speak with when adressing someone higher than you, and the voice that urges you to find your purpose, so that you may one day change the world with it.
Your neptune sign is the voice that sings you to sleep, the one you trust to tell you how your dreams went, and the one that whispers that there is so much more to the universe than we know.
Your pluto sign is the voice that only asks questions that cannot be answered. The one that, ultimately, decides what you believe.
Your midheaven is the voice you use at a job interview, and even online. It’s the voice illuminating your skills and knowledge.
Bad Moon
Addictions, insecurities, habits, and the unconscious side of the personality – May I present to you the negative aspects of the Moon in the signs:
Aries: the Firestarter; loud, bossy behavior looks for a battleground to defend against boredom and personal attacks on the ego; short-lived and short-tempered feelings and impulses cause emotional volatility and childish tantrums; addicted to action and anarchy.
Taurus: the Sensualist; resistant to force or change, the slothful temperament, with sedentary and stubborn feelings, is unable to forgive or see impartially; gluttonous appetite desires constant comfort resulting in snobbish and bratty behavior; addicted to indulgence and the familiar.
Gemini: the Busybody; feelings are imitated and analyzed, and prying curiosity looks for trouble and disorder to soothe inner restlessness; moody mischief maker with an inability to connect deeply due to extreme shallowness; addicted to questions and commotion.
Cancer: the Grudge; lack of boundaries and objectivity, and inability to let go of antique injuries leads to sulking, accusing, and doubting behaviors; clinging dependency and subtle manipulation stemming from fear of abandonment result in irrationality; addicted to the past and pity.
Leo: the Autocrat; haughty temperament vulnerable to rejection and criticism demands obedience and attention from others; excessively self-serving and inconsiderate, emotional displays and reactions are over-the-top and intended to draw a crowd; addicted to theatrics and threats.
Virgo: the Skeptic; feelings are sterilized with cold, critical judgement and stringent handling to avoid the spread of infectious mysticism and foolishness; suspended affections and harbored hatreds build and cause anxiety, hairsplitting and complaining; addicted to routine and practicality.
Libra: the Politician; preoccupied with unattainable perfection, the fear of being disliked or considered unfair or ugly force artificial reactions and passive aggressive behaviors; emotional indecisiveness and uncertainty results in multiple mood swings; addicted to idealism and partnerships.
Scorpio: the Sadist; vulnerability and unmentionable motivations are fanatically concealed in attempts to keep jealousy, bitterness, and a fear of betrayal secret; obsessively searches for ways to test strength through emotional manipulation and pain-inflicting challenges; addicted to payback and power.
Sagittarius: The Maniac; fugitive from restriction and monotony, runs wildly from the gravity of reality to the falsehoods of fiction; unequipped to handle sincerity and consistency which results in the inability to ground down and take things seriously; addicted to risk and popularity.
Capricorn: the Control Freak; inner core is guarded by rigid routines and restraint which hardens the view of self, forcing deep self-doubt and distrust of modernization; will attempt to unscrupulously manage and control the emotions; addicted to suspicion and structure.
Aquarius: The Nuclear Bomb; feelings are ignored and blocked by the brain until logic and equanimity spontaneously split from consciousness, resulting in a cataclysmic and unexpected release of emotions; thermonuclear implosion of immaturity that directly opposes civilized composure; addicted to absent-mindedness and analysis.
Pisces: the Masochistic Martyr; self-sabotage and suffering act as anesthesia to limit the experience of pain in hopes of numbing the senses and calming nerves; evasion and deception of self & others are used to avoid responsibility and reality; addicted to fantasy and escapism.
The signs and finding out they've been lied to
Immediate rage: Aries, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius
Immediate hurt: Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio
Immediate revenge: Gemini, Leo, Libra, Pisces
*Check moon and mars as well as sun!*
Pictures
Natural born model: Sagittarius, Aries, Pisces
All for group pictures: Cancer, Aquarius, Libra
Behind the camera taking pictures: Virgo, Capricorn, Gemini
Refuses because “y’all don’t know my angles”: Leo, Taurus, Scorpio
Zodiac Sign's Freak Level
Aries: All the way freaky
Taurus: Extra freaky with special people only
Gemini: Freak on the low
Cancer: All the way freaky
Leo: Spontaneous freak
Virgo: Freak on the low
Libra: Sexy freak
Scorpio: Ultimate freak-azoid
Sagittarius: Freaky and proud of it
Capricorn: Half-way freak
Aquarius: Freak on the low
Pisces: Spontaneous freak
Aries- Volatile Youngsters with a passion for adventure.
Taurus- Nostalgic souls with vanilla cake around their mouths.
Gemini- Trickster Puzzles with a glint in their eyes.
Cancer- Souls that fight it out between joy and melancholy.
Leo- Broadway stars with charisma and shine.
Virgo- Dutiful daisies with a heart that blooms.
Libra- Angel cake souls with a precarious equilibrium.
Scorpio- Emotional intelligence that scares even them.
Sagittarius- Devil may care no matter of rags or riches.
Capricorn- Containing wisdom that speaks of silent struggles.
Aquarius- The oddballs, the punks, the champions of the new age.
Pisces- The ones that stare into empty space but see only fullness.
The signs when their crush doesn't message back:
Aries: “I HATE THEM”
Taurus: “oh…”
Gemini: “wHY Do tHeY HATE ME?!? Why aren’t they replying????!!????”
Cancer: :( :/
Leo: *develops a different crush and messages them instead*
Virgo: “idec! Who needs them?” *cries on the inside*
Libra: probably doesn’t even notice because they have so many people to talk to
Scorpio: “Hahahahahahhahahah they suck”
Sagittarius: *gets angry af but plays it cool*
Capricorn: “oh well”
Aquarius: “why wouldn’t they reply? Actually I don’t even care anymore. Wait yes I do. No I don’t. Ahhhhh shit”
Pisces: “maybe I upset them???” *messages again*
WHAT THE SIGNS DO WHEN YOU IGNORE THEM
Will literally just ignore you back: Capricorn, Aries, Aquarius, Scorpio
Try to get your attention: Leo, Taurus, Gemini, Libra
Just sob about it: Virgo, Cancer, Sagittarius, Pisces