on AO3 at qianzhangs and on my fallen london sideblog @rosewreathed!
i talk about school for good and evil, hollow knight, genshin impact, and ateez (+assorted other kpop and cpop groups)! hua chenyu has settled into a corner of my mind. here to write fic, stumble through gifmaking, and say words.
tagging system under the cut :]
general:
#* - my originals. probably either fic or gifs.
past URL: @fourleafclovxr
alternate blog: @staryinghao. was for cpop/kpop but i just talk about that here anyway.
SGE tags:
#saderposting - for anything related to august sader, or any of the saders (notably: rhian). and by god i have a lot of posts related to august sader
#roleswap au - evelyn as the seer, august as the powerless half-sibling. leaning into august's history talent and evelyn's potential as an Evil seer (it would not fix her)
#sader lives au - what it says on the can. going to be rewritten at some point. it'll happen eventually, i'm sure.
#modern sader family - also what it says on the can. focuses on rhian (ii) & kei, august, and agatha. may involve fun side tangents about the sader-mistral relationship entanglements!
#rhian seer au - the one where rhian (ii) is mildly prescient, gets claimed by rafal, and gets semi-adopted by august. no one is happy about any of these things.
#sge november prompts - a series i did back in 2024. actually quite a lot of writing in this tag including various sci-fi and canon AUs, and a lot of seer lore. i like this a lot personally!
fallen london tags:
#roseposting - general tag for FLposting that i don't want to put in the main tags. named for my beloved...
#the rose-wreathed archivist - my main FL player character :) for lore about the archivist & the associated parts of me playing fallen london.
Was trying to make a joke about TV writing to my friend the other day and had to pause and go "...does the phrase 'surf dracula' mean anything to you?"
common advice for social anxiety is to tell yourself "people aren't going to think less of you just because you said something a bit daft" but the thing is. sometimes they will. and you just have to learn to be cool with that and to treat it as a dnd random encounter rather than letting it ruin your whole day
recent example. lady at my careers appointment had a post-it with her name on it stuck to the monitor, so i introduced myself by saying "hello, i'm eliot! you must be [name], it's nice to meet you!" and she stared at me as if i was the stupidest person alive and said icily, "yeah, i'm [name]. congratulations, you can read."
in bygone times this would have reduced me to a sort of quivering blancmange. thankfully i am now in a place where i was able to pull back, calmly evaluate this interaction, and say to myself "this woman should probably not be working in a customer-facing job"
How'd I cut back on caffeine? The usual. Diet, discipline. One thing that helped a lot was that I harnessed the void. I tapped into the little incipient void which sits at the heart of every thinking animal, and I fed it. I hatefully nurtured it with every malicious thought, every unkind impulse, every knee-jerk reaction best discarded, and it gorged on these things it metastasized. It swelled past the confines of my heart and fought for space with with my stomach, my liver, my intestines, winning handily, subsuming each in turn, until I was little more than a man-shaped howling wrathful abyss sheathed in taut, paper-thin human hide, wandering through this fallen world in anticipation of whatever fleeting offense finally catalyzes my inevitable rupture and detonation. And now I'm down to two, maybe three cups a day