the ghost of you </3 (brian may x reader)
it all started your freshman year of college. you were a smart and sexy student majoring in political science, and you cared deeply about politics. therefore, when a fellow student (john deacon) ran for mayor of your town, you had to intervene. he was a virgin, and, as everyone knows, you can’t be mayor if you are a virgin. you ran a smear campaign against him where you accused him of drug trafficking and killing jonbenet ramsey. he lost the election.
anyways, that’s just the backstory. basically john deacon lost his career and became a kleptomaniac. he had nothing to live for but petty crime. meanwhile, you met the love of your life, father brian harold may, at a local church sermon. he saw you in the congregation and immediately denounced the priesthood so he could marry you.
that was actually even more backstory. anyways, you are in your home that you share with father brian harold may. “hey sexy” he says, seeing you in the living room. “i love your new lime green mohawk. it’s making me very aroused.” (a/n: i forgot to mention, you have a new lime green mohawk)
“oh, father,” you said. “i love you passionately and tenderly.”
suddenly, there was a loud noise in the hall. it was john deacon, the local kleptomaniac, robbing your home!!! you and brian harold may ran to see what was going on and witnessed that little snake man knock over a candle onto the ground while he was stealing!! (a/n: i forgot to mention, your house is covered entirely in candles and large, flammable curtains)
your house soon burned to the ground while john escaped with all your possessions. brian harold may was quite out of shape, and was unable to escape and died in the fire. oh no! you had to put his ashes in a little urn.
you had no employable skills so you quickly had to find a new man to support you. this new man was ROGER TAYLOR, an English musician, best known as the drummer of the new wave music band Duran Duran from their inception until 1985, and again from 2001 onwards. Duran Duran have sold over 100 million records worldwide.
“roger,” you asked in a sexiiiii manner, “may i keep brian’s urn in our bed when we have sex?”
roger hated you and brian. “fine, bitch.” he said.
suddenly, there was a loud and powerful voice. “y/n, leave this man. it is i, your husband in the eyes of god. come to me, whore.” it was the ghost of father brian harold may!!! you nutted in excitement. your husband had returned!!!
before you could passionately kiss your husband(? exhuband? how does the law work with deceased ghost spouses?), roger taylor of duran duran decided to establish his dominance. he unhinged his jaw and poured brian’s ashes straight down his throat, consuming them whole.
brian’s ghost was gone, and soon after, you were later stolen by kleptomaniac john deacon. but thats another story <3
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