/diˈspe(ə)r/

noun noun: despair; plural noun: despairs    1.    the complete loss or absence of hope.    "driven to despair, he throws himself under a train" [ Independent Lucien Carr rp blog. ]

[trvorphilips]

[agent-lancelot]

💋 -- Lucien

Send 💋 for your muse to randomly kiss mine. || status: closedJames had been watching the boy in the bar for some time now. He moved with a sort of effortless grace and when he walked up to the bar top to order another drink James saw that his eyes were shockingly blue. He was the sort of boy that James might try to flirt with if he were twenty years younger. He downed the rest of his scotch and ordered another. As they both waited for their drinks to be made, he figured he’d might as well say something, even if he was sure he had no chance with him. The bar was crowded that night and they were pracitally pressed against one another–the boy having wedged himself between bar stools to lean against the bar next to the stool James sat upon. “It’s busy for a week night,” James’ remarked, his voice louder than usual to be heard over the din of the bar. It was an obvious remark and as soon as the words were out of his mouth he inwardly kicked himself for not having come up with something more clever. The boy turned his head to look at him and nodded in response. Then, after a split second of sizing him up, he’d leaned forward, pressing his lips in a soft peck against James’. James’ surprise made him pull back, brows furrowed in confusion. “What was that for?” he asked, before quickly adding, “Not that I mind.” 

[quietdxspair]

spookyshot:

   “   yeah. made a couple empty death threats, but that’s it.   ”

he’s analyzing the kid, up and down, trying to understand the connection between him and his doppelganger. something sensitive, he assumes, but he keeps it to himself. funny, he thinks for a moment. most of the time he’s the one who ends up throwing death threats.

   “   —- he’s a shitty guy, if that’s what yer tryin’ t’get from me.   ”

      “ Sometimes the threats aren’t empty. “

      But he’ll leave the statement there for now, there wasn’t a lot he         needed to talk about when it came to Dave, especially to barney,         especially because they look the same.  Talking about Dave to         him makes Lu feel as though he’s going to get in trouble for it,         even though he hasn’t seen the man in months.

      “ What did he threaten you for? “

[quietdxspair]

tokillabarton:

      “     wheelchair david. barney. whatever.             —— y’must be this lucien he mentions a lot.   ”

      “ It’s Lu, yeah.  Barney. “

      The resemblance makes him... Uncomfortable.  It stirs up his         stomach and pats an uneven rhythm in his heart.   The draw         is there, stretched thin and pulled to breaking, but the urge         to reach out is still there.

      And yet, looks just as uninterested on the outside as he did         when he met anyone else. 

      “ He talks about me.   You talked to him? “

[quietdxspair]

@tokillabarton

      “ Not David.   You name starts with a B.  Right? “

[michaelchallpics]

[aoife136]

if you hate me….. have you considered…. that I am beautiful? think it over

[m1ssthang-deactivated20140617]

[lin-manuel]

So you met Lucien in the lunch line and now he’s all you can see?

[quietdxspair]

hey hi it's me again so recently in hawkeye's 21st issue somebody killed barney (probably) by stabbing him (aka like what lucien did) and i'm seeing so many parallels between hawkeye and kyd and i blame you for all

i love this message so much that i don’t want to get rid of it

everything is my fault i am so proud.

[thatdandyboy]

[quietdxspair]

thatdandyboy:

“Honor Slaying. Relating to a lethal attack committed when the accused is defending himself against a known homosexual. If the accused is heterosexual, he shall be pardoned. But if the accused is homosexual, the charge of murder in the first degree shall stand.”

Kill Your Darlings dir. John Krokidas (2013)

[maladyofdreaming]

[quietdxspair]

if i wanted to hear something university approved i'd go to a professor. give us something interesting.

      Lucien drops the book in his hand as though it were        burning him through it’s pure normality, as if the plain        words would dig into his fair skin and pollute the world        and revolution within.      It takes mere seconds once the book has landed for him        to begin his new ramble.

      " If I should sleep with a lady called death,           Get another man with firmer lips            To take your new mouth into his teeth. “         He pauses, hand moving down along his torso, fingers        dragging over his stomach and the fasteners of his         trousers as he finished his small dramatic reading of         the first E.E. Cummings poem that leapt into his head.      “ Hips pumping pleasure into hips. “      He always did like putting on a show.

[lory-98]

[mentalltrillness-deactivated201]

How brave of your body to keep breathing when all you can think about is not.

(via soulsscrawl)

[adatiel]