Orzhov for life, and then some

I post shit 30/F/Texas Bi

[itsyveinthesky]

[seabassapologist]

[penismage]

Hello!

Howdy!

I’d like, uh, two normal rolls.

Sure thing!

And one with the… With the pumpkin seeds.

Which do you mean?

The one with the… With the seeds.

What are they called?

Uhm… A, uh, “crunchy pumpky.”

Sure thing. Would you like anything else?

Uhh… I’ll also take a, uh… A… A Nutella donut…?

Unfortunately, I don’t know at all what you mean…

A… One of those right there!

You really must tell me, what’s it called??

I… I’m… I’m a dumb piece of shit.

Sure thing! Anything else?

That one there?

You know what you need to do. [Here she switches from the formal, customer service voice to addressing him casually and familiarly.]

I… I’m a little greedy pig, oink oink?

Do it!

[grunts like a pig]

That comes to €13.50, please! Have a beautiful day!

Hello! I’d like an “I hate my father” and two “I have a small willi—” [The word that gets cut off is Pimmel, an un-sexy term for penis.]

[roadside--picnic]

[immigrant]

this was tumblr in 2013

[allegedly-human]

This is tumblr in 2026

[moth-grrrl-mavis]

WOTC ending three block sets: "What if someone doesn't like a plane? Are we gonna make them sit through three sets of that plane?"

WOTC now: "Six Marvel sets."

[artiem00n]

I watched the last act of TADC tonight with some friends. I now know and fully fucking understand what Goose meant when she said when there's folks who infer the exact fucking opposite of what shes trying to imply.

[geniusbee]

these are getting weird

[stanfordgsb]

[baronfulmen]

[plaidos]

it’s actually not misogynistic to say astrology is bogus, and it is indeed way way more misogynistic to believe that things that can’t be proven rationally through science are More Female.

[chaoticedward]

not what he meant.

[mystery-incorporated-whore]

only two options for mainstream transfem porn

slur in the title

trans woman is topping

im fucking sick of this shit

[mystery-incorporated-whore]

also why are they all white?

[mystery-incorporated-whore]

the video i was specifically watching had the cis girl getting dykehandled all over the bed and caressed and spanked and giggling the whole time whereas the trans girl was dead silent and only lost her underwear when it was time for the PiV sex

idk it just really felt almost insulting

[btc-official-deactivated2024071]

im gonna fucking cry

[inkandguns]

[spiderbitesandvampirevenom]

can we bring back the term "fair-weather friend" bc I feel like if fair-weather friends got called that more this whole argument about whether or not you should be there for your friends when it's inconvenient/at what point of personal inconvenience it's ok to bail on your friends would kinda fall apart bc like. we literally have a word for "friend who's only there when you don't need something from them" because the baseline expectation is that a friend should be there even when it sucks. like we used to make fun of people for bailing on their friends.

[filmphotofranz]

source

[dragongirlsweetie]

the problem with fantasyposting on here is the amount of people who try to "um actually" you on the basis that your post doesn't comply with the rules/mechanics/worldbuilding of dungeons and dragons

[rennerei]

Melinoë ♨️ Nemesis

[rennerei]

Ahem... there's copious amounts of Hades on my Patreon if that interests you 🧍🦑

[daughter-of-sapph0]

Whats the worst movie you ever paid money to see?

avengers endgame

my honest reaction in the theater when it was over

[agnesmontague]

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

[stellarskyes]

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

[agnesmontague]

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out