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YOU ARE THE REASON
JBB: An Artblog!
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@quoteguyfieriunquote
Our snappy research interns have it on good authority that “Guy Fieri” one time audited Introduction to Theology: Pseudo-Dionysius to Julian of Norwich but spent most of the semester doodling Apocalyptic hamburgers in a spiral notebook missing the back cover.
Sincerely,
the Editors
AWP20 got you down? We hear you loud and also loud and clear. Which is why the editors of Fieri Fridays (the Fierditors) have put together a a super crispy, bacon-packed new issue of Fieri Fridays. Coming at you in sporadic and irregular intervals (basically, when we feel like it) on several of the universe’s more popular social media platforms (and even one or two you’ve never heard of) all day tomorrow.
AWP20 got you down? We hear you loud and also loud and clear. Which is why the editors of Fieri Fridays (the Fierditors) have put together a a super crispy, bacon-packed new issue of Fieri Fridays. Coming at you in sporadic and irregular intervals (basically, when we feel like it) on several of the universe’s more popular social media platforms (and even one or two you’ve never heard of) all day tomorrow.
The theme of tonight’s family dinner during the Fieri Fridays Fall Retreat at Flavortown West, a semi-secret location near the lemon tree growing on a deck in San Fransisco’s Russian Hill, was “How Burger Can You Be?” And the consensus, at least among the editorial board is that it is possible to overburger self, that one can in fact burger too much. #fierifridays #quoteguyfieriunquote https://www.instagram.com/p/B3f8cWNBo7p/?igshid=1u6w9g7qy5to0
“Guy Fieri” met us down at Pier 19 to check out the fleet week air show. #fierifridays #quoteguyfieriunquote #blueangels #lostonacoffeerun #pourovercountry https://www.instagram.com/p/B3fyTVEB0SU/?igshid=1ew79rfs0tv1w
In which “Guy Fieri” fails and fails and fails to understand the burden of history. #fierifridays #quoteguyfieriunquote #thehistoryofnachos is #thehistoryofpain https://www.instagram.com/p/B3fmCHTBYIg/?igshid=v2h24l0fhd0e
Of all the celestial hierarchies ever written, “Guy Fieri’s” is the only one we are know of that includes nacho cheese. #fierifridays #quoteguyfieriunquote #dionysius #celestialhierarchy https://www.instagram.com/p/B3fX4yTBsjs/?igshid=174gkhfpa5gcm
The far-flung members of Fieri Fridays’s editorial board are currently sailing their ways though some super slammer-jammer “fieri-fog” to gather at Flavortown West in sleepy San Fransisco, CA for our annual retreat. But don’t worry, we will be publishing tomorrow. It will be special. It will be slammering. It will be covered in nacho sauce. #fierifridays #quoteguyfieriunquote #sanfransiscoedition #fierifog https://www.instagram.com/p/B3cX9FbBaox/?igshid=8winib5k3m01
A list of facts: 1) Mob Rules is one of the top two best Black Sabbath albums, and our entire editorial board is ready to die on that hill 2) the internet was invented just so some wizard could eventually save us all by putting poems on pictures of Ronnie James Dio 3) the world will never be the same again. Thank you @poporojdio, where we you are. Sincerely, the Editors #fierifridays #quoteguyfieriunquote #ridethetiger https://www.instagram.com/p/B3Te0OHBMlq/?igshid=hd56qu0hhlyq
We are happy to tell you that Fieri Fridays has just brought on a new graphic design team. You can expect things to start looking pretty fresh around here. Flavortown über alles! Sincerely, the Editors #fierifridays #quoteguyfieriunquote #graphicdesignsuperprofessional https://www.instagram.com/p/B3SkRcohyMz/?igshid=53lgowi6cbpf
@guyfieri really gets what Fieri Fridays is all about. We wonder if he’s ever met “Guy Fieri.” We wonder if together they are a singular Banksy. Anything is possible. And over long enough a slinky of time anything is probable. Even everything! Sincerely, the Editors #fierifridays #quoteguyfieriunquote #thetruesingularityisnotofmachinethinkinhbutofinfiniteuniversalconciousness #doi https://www.instagram.com/p/B3SLmb6h-H9/?igshid=b799w009eqs0
It’s like this, wafflehounds, we were visited earlier this evening by what can only be described as a “sequence” of frighteningly litigious, big-clam international law practitioners, casually brandishing documents, testimonials, contracts, diplomas, and badges, all of them seeming very, very determined to convince us that it was in our best interest to clarify to our current and potential/future readers that Banksy is and never was or will be involved with what we chose to see and share as a piece of art” made with intention as “art” to be “art.” They added (in an urgently dramatic fashion clearly meant to “convey” they were talking to us as a courtesy” but really they think we’re just some weird stewpot filled with jerks) that they were, in fact, pretty sure the object in question is actually just a small business owner’s sign displaying a menu of items they will trade for certain amounts of currency. And that “BUTTS” are actually a part of pigs, and not the imprimatur of “art” we understood it to be. After several hours in conference over several platters of ox-tail nachos, we unanimously determined we should go along with what they were saying. Because their badges looked legit, and we were legit scared. So just to be clear, “Guy Fieri” is absolutely NOT Banksy. (But just among friends, we identified a loophole two-thirds of the way through our third bucket of nachos. And by “loophole” we of course me “the truth.” And the truth is that Banksy is “Guy Fieri.” Probably. And this, dear friends, will be our shibboleth.) We apologize for introducing so much confusion into your lives. Sincerely, the Editors #fierifridays #quoteguyfieriunquote #banksyisofcoursejustthepurestexpressionofcapitalismdisguisedasradicalism #wejustlearnedwhathottakemeans https://www.instagram.com/p/B3QpIbGhHFV/?igshid=12cdifstpooqn
Earlier this morning one of our intrepid contributing editors stumbled into this piece of public art/found poetry while stocking up on goat shampoo at their local farmers market. Of course we unanimously agreed our readers would likely appreciate it. And who knows? Maybe “Guy Fieri” themself made it. Which leads to the question: is “Guy Fieri” Banksy? We’ll never know for sure. But it’s possible! Sincerely, the Editors #fierifridays #quoteguyfieriunquote #consumerpoetics #maybebanksy #definitelybanksy #maybe #banksy https://www.instagram.com/p/B3Pxc9gh7PU/?igshid=wjbowqjsa5oi
Earlier this morning one of our intrepid contributing editors stumbled into this piece of public art/found poetry while stocking up on goat shampoo at their local farmers market. Of course we unanimously agreed our readers would likely appreciate it. And who knows? Maybe “Guy Fieri” themself made it. Which leads to the question: is “Guy Fieri” Banksy? We’ll never know for sure. But it’s possible! Sincerely, the Editors #fierifridays #quoteguyfieriunquote #consumerpoetics #maybebanksy #definitelybanksy #maybe #banksy
At the time of this writing, it is two minutes until Saturday. And if we know anything about Saturdays it’s that there’s no letter “f” in Saturday, meaning they can be neither fun nor “Fieri.” In other words, we’ve reached the end of this issue of Fieri Fridays. We’ll be back sometime. Maybe and hopefully soon. Probably on a Friday. At the end of the day, really, it’s out of our hands. We publish only if and when “Guy Fieri” submits to us enough poems that meet our incredibly arbitrary, yet strangely high, standards.
So, from all of us here here in Flavortown, thank you and goodnight.
Sincerely,
the Editors