Incorrect WarioWare Quotes

The hijinx you don't see on screen.

[quotes-from-diamond-city]

Accepting submissions. Also, if you know the source of a quote without a source tag, please feel free to let me know.

Drawing quotes is allowed as long as you credit this blog.

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5-Volt: How many kids do you have?

Dr. Crygor, glancing at Penny, Ashley, and Red: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?

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*A bird lands on Mike's shoulder.*

Mike: Hello, bird. What is your name?

Bird: *tweets*

Mike: Toriyama?

Toriyama: *tweets*

Mike: I would love to see your dinosaur.

Toriyama: *tweets*

Mike: It does WHAT?!

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Dr. Crygor: I don't think this is a good idea.

Wario: I'm not listening to you, you pronounce the G in lasagna!

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*Ashley and Penny are both lying in a crater, groaning. They slowly stand up.*

Ashley: Oh god, Penny are you okay!?

Penny: I'm alright!

Ashley: I was just...

Ashley, sighing: I've been wanting to ask you something for a while, but I wanted to do it in the best way! And, in the Tunnel of Love, I just-

Ashley: I thought, "Penny's too cool for this!"

Penny, blushing: I'm really not as cool as you think.

Ashley: Look. Everything's so crazy right now and I have no idea what my future holds, but it'd be really cool if you were in it. So, uh...

*Ashley takes a deep breath.*

Penny: DO YOU WANNA GO OUT WITH ME?!

Ashley: Nooooo, I was so ready!

Penny: Sorry, sorry, you can say it!

Ashley: Okay. Penny, do you want to go out with me?

Penny: YES!

Ashley: Okay!

*Ashley holds Penny's hand.*

Ashley, blushing: Why is this still so scary?!

Penny, also blushing: I don't know!

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Wario: That's one of my biggest fears. Like, if I ever woke up as a donut...

Jimmy T: You would eat yourself?

Wario: I wouldn't even question it.

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Wario: Who the fuck added me to the fucking group chat?

Mona: Language!

Penny: Yeah, Wario, watch your fucking language!

Ashley: Alright, who taught Penny the fuck word?!

Jimmy T: "The fuck word."

5-Volt: What are you talking about? You guys use the f-word all the time.

Ashley: Oh my god, she censored it.

Wario: Say fuck, 5-Volt.

Penny: Do it, 5-Volt. Say fuck.

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Spitz: Why would I flip my shit about that?

Dribble: Because you flip your shit about everything.

Spitz: Well, will you look at this. Here is my shit, and yet it remains unflipped. Just sitting there on the skillet, getting burned on one side. It’s a miracle.

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Ashley: Uh, Penny, I wasn't able to get you anything for Christmas.

Penny: That's okay, I wasn't able to get you anything, either.

Penny, pulling Ashley into her arms: But here's a hug for my favorite witch!

Ashley, trying desperately not to cry: Not so hard, you sap. You'll squeeze my tears out.

Penny: *kisses Ashley on the cheek* Merry Christmas, Ash.

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Penny: Being gay is not a choice.

Penny, holding Ashley in her arms: But it is a game, and I'm winning!

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Wario: 8)

Mona: I'm not calling you "good boy", Wario! That meeting was shit!

Wario: T_T

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Wario: What's the big deal about borrowing money? I do it all the time! Sometimes, I even pay it back!

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Ana: I have a bad feeling about this...

Leo: What do you mean?

Ana: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble?

Leo: No?

Kat: That actually explains so much.

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*Penny is curled up on the ground*

Jimmy T: Is Penny okay?

5-Volt: She's just a little overwhelmed.

Jimmy T: Why?

5-Volt: Ashley smiled at her.

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Penny: Ashley, sweetie, honeybun, love of my life...

Penny: Why is there a plushie with a knife in it on the floor?

Ashley: It pissed me off.

Penny: ...Why?

Ashley: Hell if I know.

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Doris-1: You motherfucker! You just left me to die!

Dr. Crygor: Top 30 reasons why Crygor is sorry. Number 5 will surprise you!

Doris-1: Top 30 anime deaths! Number 1: YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!

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Wario: Hey, who's got my hat?

Kat, wearing Wario's hat: Look, I'm Wario! Money money money!

Wario: Ah ha! Ah ha-

Wario, ripping the hat off of Kat's head: Gimme that!