fag

this was originally a vent blog but i got too gay and horny and angry so now i just say stuff i don't want many people seeing on here

[r0tt3nl3m0ns]

i made my main blog when i was too young to be here maybe that's why im like this

[r0tt3nl3m0ns]

yesterday one of my friends (who is also transmasc, mind you) used me as proof that "girls can look like boys and boys can look like girls." which is true. but i present masc so i know damn well which category he was putting me in. so i naturally responded with "im not a girl" and when he tried to defend himself i repeated myself and then he was all "i mean you were assigned female." ok. still not a girl though. dude just because you're not too hung up about people deadnaming and misgendering you doesn't mean im not. i am not a girl who looks like a boy i am a boy. full stop.

[r0tt3nl3m0ns]

if you say shit like "bomb that kills all tmes" i would like to say that i do not take joy in saying this but i wish you'd die in a car crash

[r0tt3nl3m0ns]

so lowkey i don't think people should depict children, fictional or not, in sexual situations that are meant to give the audience sexual pleasure

[r0tt3nl3m0ns]

i have problems but my mom won't get me diagnosed with the most likely cause of those problems even though we are almost entirely sure and it would give me peace of mind to know what's wrong with me

"i stopped trying to get you diagnosed with adhd because you stopped struggling in school" why is my ability in educational settings the only factor that affects if i get diagnosed or not. i thought the doctor ditched us but no apparently not. she did this with my sibling too (the only reason she got them in for an autism diagnosis was because they were at risk of getting expelled for their behavioral issues 😐 mom of the year everyone)

[r0tt3nl3m0ns]

me last month: forcemasc is interesting but i get no sexual gratification from it and don't understand how anyone could

now: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK IM INTO THIS

[r0tt3nl3m0ns]

i go through all 5 stages of grief every time i get a notif and realize it's from this blog

[r0tt3nl3m0ns]

there is a certain solangelo fan on this website that genuinely pisses me off. i hold nothing against the ship. i hold nothing against the shippers. but that ONE PERSON pisses me off SO MUCH.

i have to rant. i will not be referring to them by their url for their privacy. rant under the cut

ok so. this person is SUCH an attention seeker. it's not wrong to want attention, but it seems like they're actively trying to start arguments. they interact with solangelo haters and post screenshots of those interactions without censoring or cropping out the other person's username, and knowing how utterly RABID fandoms can get, this is just begging people to harass the person they disagree with. at best, their posts make me cringe. at worst, they look like they're trying to start a fight and then play the victim when the other party inevitably gets angry. my feelings towards them have gone from "oh this person slightly annoys me" to "I HATE YOU." how uneducated in fandom etiquette do you have to be to act like that in fandom spaces???? you interact with people who hate you, saying shit like "oh, since you hate solangelo i guess you'd hate me 🤣" or some bullshit like that. HOW FUCKING STUPID ARE YOU. honestly by not directly referring to them by their handle i am giving them more courtesy than they have ever given someone who disagrees with them on their perfect yaoi. AND WHAT MAKES IT WORSE IS THAT PEOPLE DON'T GET ONTO THEM FOR THEIR BEHAVIOR!!!!! i haven't said anything to them about this bullshit yet because im afraid i'll get jumped for even implying they could be in the wrong. because they're defending their PRECIOUS YAOI. people like that make me SICK. you are only giving the people who hate solangelo and its shippers vindication. i say this as a solangelo shipper. you can handle people not liking your poorly written ship without making a huge stink about it. YES SOLANGELO IS POORLY WRITTEN. rick just wanted to shoehorn in representation and didn't bother putting enough effort into how he wrote it. because god forbid he lets a character be single without swearing an oath of chastity.

and, in case the person im talking about sees this, hi. if you post this on the solangelo fan community to clown on me, please have the courtesy to crop out my username. i did not refer to you by your username once. i would like to receive the same treatment. and by the way, most of the time people censor ship names when they're being critical of the ship to avoid shippers jumping their ass. and your whole "oh i bet you hate me" thing isn't cute. it isn't a smart remark. it makes you look like a massive attention seeker. and quit leaving usernames uncovered in your screenshots. you're just making it more possible for the person you're disagreeing with to get harassed. again, i will say that i ship solangelo. i am not a hater. you specifically PISS ME OFF. why are you actively looking for solangelo haters? are you trying to be cute by annoying them? trying to start a fight? whatever the reason is, stop. you're just upsetting yourself and the people you disagree with. you're being an annoyance.

[r0tt3nl3m0ns]

pretty sure my parents think im this pure sexless being who's never even thought about my gender and sexuality and then when they're proven wrong they're like "oh you're too young" and forget about it 🫩 like god forbid your daughter isn't a girl 🫩 god forbid a boy masturbates in the privacy of his own room 🫩 a while ago they looked through my computer because i wouldn't list off every youtuber i watch and they grounded me probably because they found out that i went on the green site a few times 🫩 apparently i can't look at art of anime girls having sex in private or else that warrants my privacy being invaded in front of my fucking brother

[r0tt3nl3m0ns]

im convinced that some people in a certain community im in on this site don't know trans men exist

i sometimes post about my tomodachi life island on there and the first two miis i put on my island had a kid. both miis are male. i got several comments acting confused over how the miis had a child if they were both male. now, this is only regarding a game i play, but i was annoyed that they didn't consider the existence of trans men (i responded to one person saying logistically, t4c was a possibility while trying my best to not come off as annoyed)

but then. someone else posted about being confused that a female character was considered possibly part of this big important thing in the books when the big important thing specifically refers to the subject by he/him. they seemingly completely disregarded the idea that the character could have transitioned, or even just used different pronouns as she got older. and like. why??? are we forgetting transmascs exist?????

probably not a big deal but i was just thinking about that

[r0tt3nl3m0ns]

i hate how i should know how to regulate my emotions but i literally can't. there is somethint severely wrong with me that is inhibiting my ability to behave rationally when im angry or sad or scared and i hate how people laugh at me for it instead of recognizing that im struggling and at least understanding that i need a fucking break

[r0tt3nl3m0ns]

good news: i am getting more fiber in my diet and am now able to shit

bad news: my asshole hurts a little and there's a bit of blood on my poop sometimes so now im wondering if i have an anal fissure, hemorrhoids, or cancer

[r0tt3nl3m0ns]

im gonna rant about literally all of my problems that come to mind

i met the devil in teenage boy form and oh boy was that interesting

basically he and i had a computer science class together and he was being irritating, so naturally i got mad at him. he responded to my anger with "i think you have anger issues 🙄" and then proceeded to consistently get me angry as if he was trying to get his face beaten in. buddy if i have anger issues maybe don't fucking trigger them. you think i LIKE being angry????? you think i LIKE my main response to anger being violence?????? NO. you think i WANT to be so angry all the time??????? WELL I FUCKING DON'T. I WISH I COULD REACT TO ANGER NORMALLY. I WISH I DIDN'T WANT TO HIT PEOPLE WHEN IM PISSED OFF.

anyway that makes me feel vindicated in my belief that people are very stupid when it comes to someone's mental issues involving angry outbursts. i've been like this ever since i moved down south and im convinced that it's my dad's fault for making us need to move in the first place so he could go become a pig. like i was a very sweet kid (but a little bratty) before we moved and suddenly i was constantly crying and throwing shit and having fits. before we moved i expressed anger through crying. of course if i were to tell my dad that maybe him ditching the family for a full year when his oldest wasn't even a teenager yet and his youngest wasn't even out of kindergarten he'd say some shit like "well i had my reasons" or "you're doing great now aren't you" instead of accepting that he gave his children issues. like my brother was a hell of a lot more pleasant before that and maybe it was because we were younger but like. my dad is also just a piece of shit

i used to have a babysitter and she was really nice to me until i turned 5 and then she was spanking me and putting me in timeout for no reason and yelling at me and correcting my speech when i was right the first time. i once said "im done" after i finished eating and she said "no, you're full" ma'am. my plate was clean. and i had finished my food. what the fuck. i was actually scared to go to her house eventually because she was a jerk and she had a really big and loud dog and naturally a child who is likely neurodivergent and ends up having sensory issues would hate that. i was always so tense in that house. damn you old babysitter i think you're part of the reason im so uneasy when im at other people's houses. you're definitely why im nervous around dogs. i hope she rots in hell like never let her around a kid again. i couldn't even tell my mom about any of this because i didn't understand that hey, maybe a babysitter spanking and yelling at one of the kids they're babysitting for no reason isn't okay. again, i was 5 years old and had just gained sentience. my brother liked her but she favored him a lot. but if i said that he'd be all "but you're the youngest why wouldn't you be the favorite" as if my age changes the fact that she was needlessly cruel to me specifically.

my ex was talking about how i always get angry at the same things oh honey there's a REASON. it's because i always get mad at people treating me like shit for no reason and don't really like it when people treat me like shit for no reason. i don't need you to always agree with me or feel as passionately about it as i do i just said i need you to try to see my perspective. i didnt want to think so poorly of you but you decided to become illiterate and didn't comprehend that i didn't say "i want you to always agree with me all the time"

[r0tt3nl3m0ns]

when my ex ended our friendship, they told me that they didn't like how i get upset when things that upset me get brought up in casual conversation and like. ?????? did you want me to jump in the air and click my heels together?????????? of course im gonna be upset if something that pissed me off is brought up where is that brain of yours that got you into nerd school????? or are you only intelligent in academic contexts???????? yknow that would make a shit ton of sense considering how you treated me before our friendship ended

[r0tt3nl3m0ns]

you think you know someone and then he breaks up with you and suddenly he's constantly ignoring you and he's never on your side ever

[r0tt3nl3m0ns]

[r0tt3nl3m0ns]

oh my god i hate everything

why am i even still here?

why am i still with them?

why am i such an idiot?