I know this was years ago but she wonât be forgotten. she didnât deserve to be treated as she did, and every time I think about this I get that horrible gut feeling. She still had so many years of life ahead of her and cruel people took that away from her. I hope she can rest in peace now. My whole heart goes out to people who have been in this exact situation, people who have lost a loved one to su1c1dâŹ, people who struggle with depression, su1c1d4l thoughts, sâŹlf h4rm, etc. You guys are so brave and I care about you, if you need someone to talk to about anything my dms are always open, and Iâll respond the fastest I can. All we can do is keep pushing forward, remember telling people about your situation DOESNâT make you weak, it makes you stronger. and I hope these words that I canât accept myself at least help you in the slightest.
make a pinterest board of your dream bod/gw - trust me it helps
drink d1âŹt sodas - i know this is âoverusedâ a lot but it works really well if you want something other than water
drink black coffee - black coffee is an appâŹt1t⏠suppresser and a natural l4xitivâŹ
watch mukbangs - the gross ones will make you feel disgusted, and the ânormalâ ones will make you feel full
watch super-$iz⏠vs super-sk^nn7 - watching the b!ggâŹr peopleâs food d1âŹt makes me grossed out, and watching how little the sk^nn7 people âŹat triggers me to âŹat like them
watch to the b0n⏠- itâs a movie on Netflix abt âŹat!ng d!s0rdâŹrs
sm0k⏠- i donât condone this, but itâs something i do that helps me
pvrg⏠- again, i donât support this or influence it, but it works for me
I luv the feeling after forcing myself to workout, bcz u feel so accomplished nd you also feel so lightheaded, but in a good way? Idk if this makes sense lol
you ever js let anger get the best of you? But itâs hard to feel bad for the person because theyâve ruined you in so many ways.
Hereâs the âď¸
It wasnât only like once, itâs been several times that this person has made me feel like scum on the bottom of a shoe, to the point where Iâve attempted to km$ several times because of how they treated me, throughout our entire relationship I felt as if they were using me for s3ggz which I know probably wasnât the case, but thatâs what it would feel like. Everytime they would come over to my house they would continuously make flirty comments and then one thing would lead to another, and it really made me feel shitty. About myself, and the relationship. We would constantly get into arguments because they would be very sensitive and take offense to anything as much as asking what they wanted to eat. There would be periods of time where I would ignore them because I had to piece together myself, because they didnât like it when I seemed su1c1d4l or upset, then they would be mad at me for ignoring them for 3 or more days, but what I was actually doing was trying not to km$ because I wanted to be the best for them. But nothing was good enough for them, then eventually I sent them a long message about how I hated them and never wanted to talk to this person again. And then within 2 months Iâm back and talking to them. I donât blame them on that part, but I do blame them for treating me like sh1t when all I have been trying to do is fix our relationship, which they keep messing up.
I was outside for 3+ hours last night on the phone with them, being completely honest, and all they did the entire time was yell at me and tell me to âbe calmâ when they were the one yelling, so yes, there were a few times where I yelled back. But it only takes a little bit to tip a scale, and yesterday I was already questioning existence in itself but it only got worse. I ended up fvck1ng myself up even more that night, by completely mutilating not only my b0di but my entire mood.
Currently, all I regret saying/doing is putting myself through all of that again. Which I know Iâll probably end up doing again. Itâs so self-d3structing but something about it is so addicting. I currently am not on speaking terms with this person and idk about in the future.
This person has not only shown me their true colors, but also how they respond when someone is handing out straight facts about them, and they do not like it to say the LEAST.
I donât expect anyone to read all of this, I just needed to get it off of my chest đ¤
amandla
pixelskylines
prguitarman
discoholicmusic
izzy806
gummygunk