Queer Things

Asexual, aromantic, non-binary, they/them pronouns. Used to make queer memes but I don't really anymore. Not doing questioning/identity advice anymore, but you can look through #questioning, #questioning orientation, #questioning gender, and #questioning [some-identity].  Feather art in profile pic by @kimchigrowsontrees on instagram

[infiniteorangethethird]

"aros can still date!!": boring. tired. overused. frequently used to make aros look more palatable and acceptable to amatonormative society.

"alloros can still stay single!!": fresh. new. exciting. hearing it could change many people's lives for the better regardless of romantic orientation

[an-ruraiocht]

not gonna lie i increasingly just find myself thinking... what are single disabled people supposed to do? basically everything assumes that either a) you have never been independent and are fully reliant on caregivers, whether this is parents or a paid carer that you are somehow funding, or b) you have a partner who can look after you, drive you to appointments, pick you up after you've had sedation, advocate for you, be your proxy, do the housework when you're sick, push your wheelchair, be your companion when travelling (e.g. handle the luggage if you're using a wheelchair), etc

and like. first of all even for people with partners that's assuming they're abled themselves and can handle all that. you can't assume that. secondly: what about people who are single, who live alone, who will probably always do so

"get someone to keep an eye on you when you start this new medication" who. "don't over exert yourself" nobody else is going to do the tasks. "this can be a walker or a transit wheelchair so your partner can push you when you get tired" my what

like it's not a coincidence that amatonormativity discussions started / developed in care contexts because it is so often the assumption that intimate partners will fill these needs. but I feel like this is often discussed in the context of "and this is too much to ask and puts too much unpaid labour on the unqualified partner" which is not untrue and needs discussing but like. also. what about people are single, independent adults who are neither emotionally nor geographically close to their siblings etc and are not Disabled Enough to have a paid carer (a group that grows as resources shrink). like are they just fucked then. they're on their own. punishment for failing to be enough of an adult to couple up.

[an-ruraiocht]

a few years ago i was having a procedure for which i was going to have partial sedation, so they wouldn't let me leave the hospital alone afterwards. even though i would just be getting a taxi from outside the door back to my house

i had to ask my housemate to come to the hospital in a taxi, leave the taxi waiting outside, come inside to fetch me (they wouldn't even let me go from the ward to the taxi even though i could point to my phone and the texts saying that my housemate was outside), and then go back to our house with me. fortunately it was a weekend, so she didn't have to take time off work to do this, but they went on about how she'd have to keep an eye on me for the next day or so

bear in mind that i barely knew my housemate when we moved in together. we had mutual friends but it was an arrangement of convenience

these days i do have nearby friends who own a car, so would potentially be able to pick me up in a situation like this. but they don't live with me. so they wouldn't be able to keep an eye on me overnight as my housemate was assumed to be willing to do. my flat only has one bed in it. like. i don't know. it just seems to be completely beyond their comprehension that somebody could live solo and not just have someone who will look after them?? and this was for a small routine procedure that lots of non-disabled people have, so not even assuming high care needs! hospitals just can't comprehend that single adults exist!

[aro-disaster]

That reminds me of the time I was giving blood and (in addition to my usual fainting shenanigans) there was a concern that the phlebotomist had given me nerve damage.

Trying to get the blood people to understand that I had driven there and that no, I didn't have a partner to come fetch me and monitor me was a flipping task and a half.

It took me over an hour to get out of the centre and I had to promise to call 111 (the non-emergency medical line) if anything happened.... Not sure what they would have been able to do for a tweaked nerve over the phone, or indeed what having a partner there would have achieved...

[angelbabyspice]

I think more people should just be ok with being single

[angelbabyspice]

I love this site

[can-i-make-image-descriptions]

[Image ID: Tumblr reply from sorrelEater reading: one time i made a post like this and it blew up and this woman messaged me and told me it ended her 10 year marriage /End ID]

[velvetys]

Getting kicked off love island for trying to poison the men

[teaboot]

“Why are you scared of dating” I’m not scared of dating, I just haven’t found anyone’s company to be more enjoyable than my own. And also I don’t care

[justlightmeonfire]

I just don't want anyone to steal my very cursed amulet

[teaboot]

Also the amulet

[whimsicalmayhem]

Is that you talking? Or the amulet? Are you SURE a new hand doesn't want to touch the beacon?

[teaboot]

The amulet and I are not currently looking for a third

[lilnugzart]

... and he can't keep his glasses on his face.

[completely-sane-scientist]

[techiekittie]

Love is in the air?

WRONG!!!

78.084% NITROGEN

20.947% OXYGEN

0.934% ARGON

0.035% CARBON DIOXIDE

[aro-culture-is]

Partnering aromantic culture is, during a conversation about love and romantic attraction, your partner realises that he is probably aromantic too.

.

[aro-culture-is]

Aro culture is relating to pigeons (specifically how theyre treated in a lot of north american areas)

.

[roguedeer]

Being asexual and racist is embarassing as fuck. Being racist at all is obviously embarassing as fuck but the amount of racism and especially antiblackness i have been seeing from asexuals recently is obscene.

One of the only asexual activists is Yasmin Benoit, a Black woman. She has raised so much awareness for the community. She was the first asexual person to lead Pride in London, she started the #thisiswhatasexuallookslike movement and is THE leading voice for the community.

And you all will celebrate international asexuality day on April 6th but we wouldn't even have that if she hadn't cofounded it.

Edit: why are you all too scared to repost this. Cmon. Be vocal about being against racism

[pyrrhuria]

not everything... needs to be....... ABOUT SHIPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (my psychic powers (which i have due to being aromantic) cause everything in the room to go flying away from me and vaporize the moment they hit the walls due to sheer force)

[aro-culture-is]

aro culture is just making shit up when your friends ask for romance advice

the tldr is:

communicate. have they talked to whoever is of interest? if not, will the other person know to change their interactions? if you want something, you have to say it. use "I" statements.

break up. if communicating has failed, behaviors aren't changing or are getting worse, or they are unwilling to communicate, they are not at a stage where a relationship with that individual is going to work out.

[the-aro-agenda]

as much as i may talk about friendship and queerplatonicism know this. i don't think there is any type of relationship that is inherently more meaningful than any other type. the solution to amatonormativity is not to put platonic relationships on a pedestal

[hingeless-shitposts]

if you ask 10 aros about love you’ll get 27 responses

[is-this-better-than-romance]

petting a cat

^ this is better than romance

[ivystorm1]

"Are you head over heels" Yeah that's how standing works