Rach's Journal

this is all about me. my feeling. my life. my experience. my thoughts. what I've found in life in this world.

[raccch]

I'll start to writing more on Tumblr, because every social media are crowded now. And I feel being watched, by this universe

[raccch]

tell me how to prioritize things i dont know i feel like the world deny on me the world, the time, the clock refused me i have nothing to hold i want a home im tired of humiliated im tired of understanding i want to be understood i want a forever home a place for the soul to talk about everything i want a forever understanding i want forever like the edelweeisses

[raccch]

I always feel compared, without you comparing me, I feel like the worst but you said I'm the best. you are so impulsive or is this only me being insecure?

r

[raccch]

the birthday.

the way you treat me the way you glance at me make me scared and your soul your mind never bored make me crazier each day day by day there's nothing in this universe could show how deep i'm falling in love with you but you know i'm scared of falling too deep i hate that and you do some kind of magic to me your fingers your lips your eyes your hair always stay in my mind no matter what nobody ever did that before that's why i miss you every second i miss you when i sleep i miss you when i eat i miss you every single time you're away and maybe you're not the first for me but you are the first for my heart see what you've done? i am crazy about you. ps: dont leave me, or dont even think to leave me. written for his birthday on 10th of July 2017. May God Bless you❤️

[raccch]

I feel disoriented. my whole body, brain and soul has no lining. I feel like dust.

[raccch]

Blue Jeans - Lana Del Rey

[raccch]

you know what i hate about loving? i hate the way that i have to hate my lover but i still can't hate him even i'm very upset. It's like i need him for my life, i need him like i need the oxygen to feed my every inch of my cell. I hate when i have to hate him because he does an awful things, but still, i can't, even i'm really want to shout him in front of his face, i just can't, all i do is staring at his eyes, deeply, feeling intoxicated, and suddenly i was paralyzed, can't move, but crying. and at the end, he'll hug me, and my heart melts, always melt, like the first time he kissed my forehead and said 'i love you'.

12.09 9th June 2017

[raccch]

this book is about a prodigious boy called Collin whose chasing a lot of Katherine. He got several exgirlfiends named Katherine. And Colin always get dumped by these Katherine. By his brilliant mind he mix up all the theory, about everything, and he collaborates that all with Katherine things.

[raccch]

Onokabe, ini sejenis shabu hachi atau hanamasa. Tapi ini lebih banyak macem grill nya, juara sih ngantrinya sampe waiting list ke berapa belas gituuu. location : onokabe, alam sutera

[raccch]

baby i dont mind to wait forever just please let me be the only one for you please tell me everything you want tell me what you want to do whatever like i would being bad for you only no other

[raccch]

another trial-and-error about blending and several techniques. wet on wet dry on wet wet on dry the watercolor blending seems mesmerizing😍

[raccch]

I was trying to use dry on wet techniques and this is the result. the idea was the floral crown but I don't think so it really looks like. I use 4 main color without mixing it.

[raccch]

still have no idea how to blend the color

[raccch]

trying my new watercolor release my stress. namasté🙏

[raccch]

i love the way that my lips swollen because you kissed my lips like you were hungry. and i love the hickey sign you left under my right ear near the mastoid bone. and i love the feel of my breast after you bite it. ah baby, i miss you in the rain, literally.

[raccch]

Grand Royal Panghegar April, 16th 2017

[raccch]

pangandaran, i've been there like 173729times but i never felt that happy i really felt just us in the world we were exploring all of the corner hoped that we found something beautiful but i realized we don't have to search it we just have to create it instead you, pangandaran, journey, im in such a crazy relationship with you the whole world seems ignoring us but you keep me strong to be here with you in our crazy journeys cant wait next!!!