Rachael Seider: Author @rachaelseiderauthor - Tumblr Blog

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Feeling a bit thoughtful today. Reiterating why it's so important to be yourself even if you struggle with mental illnesses or personality disorders. I want to see more people be unashamed. If you...

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#mental health #borderline personality disorder #anxiety #depression #ocd #schizophrenia #mental illness #iamnotashamed

Songs That Have Helped People Through Depression

#depression #songs #mental illness #music

Suggested Hobbies

Hobbies are an important part of taking care of yourself. Getting lost in them can help you keep calm and forget about whatever negative things might be occurring in your life.

Start and maintain a blog!

Take up photography.

Take up writing.

Keep a diary.

Learn and practice a musical instrument.

Make handmade books

Make friendship bracelets

Write and send letters to people you care about

Listen to music

Find news that interests you

Keep a scrapbook

Play a video game

Play with your pet(s) if applicable

Meditate

Draw

Paint

Read

Shop

Create videos

Listen to music

I AM BORDERLINE: Self-Regulation Project *Award winning short film (Possible Trigger)

#bpd #borderline #borderline personality disorder #depression #mania #emotions #relationships #push and pull

“Turning on Myself”

This is a poem about developing and lingering depression throughout life and the strength to overcome it. Please enjoy “Turning on Myself.”

I cried at birth, Not recognizing my worth. The sounds were new. The sights were too.

I began to crawl. I could not fall. I grew to talk. I learned to walk.

My parents once smiled. In their minds, fond memories they’d filed. They taught me to ride a bike. It began with a tryke.

I went to school. I was no fool. I got good grades. Yet slowly the memory fades.

One day I looked in the mirror. Growing is what I feared. I grew taller. My breasts grew anything but smaller.

My mouth curved up at the corners. I was unaffected by mourners. I kept to myself, putting my problems on a shelf.

Suddenly laughter turned to screams, Shattering my perfect family dreams. Yelling was common place. Downward curves took over my face.

I slowly stepped away. From a safe place I could lay. The war in my family became the war in my head, Remembering all the painful things my father once said.

I still carried myself through the battle field. Research papers were my shield. Still I felt pain, Engulfed by the rain.

I still got my degree. From college I was free. Yet a new war started. It never truly parted.

The screams were back. I was under attack. I blinded myself through love, Hoping each girl would fit like a glove.

I stepped away, Failing to see myself astray. I was lost. The lost woman was covered in frost.

It was then that I had turned my back, leaving every view black. Blind like a baby in a womb, I created pictures on my own tomb.

I rarely stepped toward myself. All of my problems fell off the shelf. I held them like a small child. In my mind they were filed.

I stood in dust and ruins; yearning, yearning to make use of my learning, to live the life I created in my mind. I was a college graduate left blind.

All because I turned, I destroyed the life I yearned. I will turn around. Like a baby I will hear new sounds.

I will turn back, Clear the black. Crawl. Fall.

The falling will be okay, As long as I am no longer astray. I will re-enter the battle field. I will be my own shield.

#depression #mental illness #poetry #rachael seider #author #poem #turning on myself

“Green Eyes”

I recently came across a woman with psychotic features. She was unable to hold coherent conversations and often spoke to the walls. This is a poem about her. I wanted to make a point that Mental Illness is not something you can usually see as the woman looked relatively normal until she spoke. I also wanted to make it clear that people -especially she- did not ask for her mental illness. Please enjoy "Green Eyes"

Black curly hair, Green eyes. An illness that speaks, Yet does not show. A confused stare, Psychotic lies.

When she talks she’s on a stage, yet she cannot turn the page, The page of coherent conversation. She slowly babbles about unreal things. A psychiatric hospital is her reservation. She’s looking for a place fit for kings.

The hospital is a train. The dining room is a bus. She’s clinically insane, Always making a fuss. The dining room doubles as a boat, and we are stuck in a moat.

There is a nail with a button, she’s eaten as a glutton. They’re hurting people here. This is nothing but her fear. They’re watching everyone, Yet she still wants to run.

She is searching for her husband and kids, Yet she’s lost her lids, Lids that keep insanity in. Nothing about her resembles a pin. Pins are quiet. She wants to start a riot.

She did not ask for this. Everything in her life is amiss. She speaks to the walls. She paces the halls. With her black curly hair. With her green eyes.

#schizophrenia #mental illness #poetry #poem #rachael seider

Mandy Harvey’s “Try”: An anthem for depression.

Mandy Harvey is an America’s Got Talent Gold Buzzer Winner. She lost her hearing when she was eighteen years old. She wrote “try” as a way to keep her spirits up despite not being able to hear. When I first heard the song, I broke into tears. I was extremely suicidal at the time and this song was the only thing that made me stop and think that I could keep trying no matter what happens. The song gave me hope that I had lost and made me want to keep living. While I’m not sure whether Mandy was trying to suggest suffering from depression, I find that it greatly applies to the lyrics.

Mandy’s first line is “I don’t feel the way I used to. The sky is gray much more than it is blue, but I know one day I’ll get through” I find that this relates to depression. When I am depressed I spend a lot of time thinking negatively and it feels like there is a dark cloud following me everywhere I go. Sometimes, however, there is a little bit of hope that I will get through it to the other side and feel better again someday. To hear this sort of thing acknowledged in a song is rare and completely relatable to me and most likely others who suffer from depression. It is also remarkable because I find that many songs do not hit the nail on the head the way that “Try” does.

Mandy goes on to sing “So I will try. So I will try. I don’t love the way I need to. You need more and I know that much is true. So I’ll fight for our breakthrough and I’ll breathe in you again.” This line could be taken in two different ways. The “you” Mandy is referring to could be herself. She could be trying to say that it’s important yet difficult to love yourself and to be who you really are when you’re suffering from depression. I know that this is true for me. When I don’t feel good about my life, I don’t feel good about myself. However, the “you” could also be someone else in her life who she is struggling to love because she does not feel well herself. When I am depressed, I tend to isolate and do not give others the love that they deserve. I can be nasty toward family and friends because I don’t feel good.

Other powerful lines I found in the song were “There is no one but me to blame ‘cause I know the only thing in my way is me. I don’t live the way I used to. That whole picture never came into view.” These lines are powerful yet I find them a little trickier as they do not quite acknowledge the fact that mental illness can get in the way. What I find most relatable is that we do have the power to take control of our illnesses and lead healthy productive lives. This is why it’s important to take medicine and go to therapy. I was once told “it is like you have a broken arm in your brain.” I agree with this and broken bones do heal. If we don’t take care of ourselves then we are in our own way. There was once a time when all suffering from depression were happy and had dreams they believed they could achieve. Depression can rob so much life from a person that it is hard to move on and have a successful live. This is why I will reiterate how important it is to take medicine and go to therapy…to care from the broken arm in your brain.

In summary, whether it was Mandy’s intention or not, the song is a sort of anthem to depression. It speaks for depression and allows the listener to feel validated and perhaps even understood. Someone with depression could listen to this song and think “this is totally me.” And I will be completely honest with you. When I first heard it, I cried, and realized that it’s worth it to keep trying and to live my life. I hope that the song is as powerful to those who read this as it was to me.

#mandy harvey #depression #suicide #suicide preventation #suicide awareness #hope

larmoyante

There’s only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.

Aldous Huxley, Time Must Have a Stop (via ugh)

vinstage

deeplifequotes

Take chances, take a lot of them. Because honestly, no matter where you end up and with whom, it always ends up just the way it should be. Your mistakes make you who you are. You learn and grow with each choice you make. Everything is worth it. Say how you feel, always. Be you, and be okay with it.