Rachael's Diary

This is where I talk about things nobody cares about.But dont be afraid to ask me questions or for advice. I happen to have ALOT of free time.

[rachaelssdiary]

My life is garbage. My marriage is falling apart, I have no skills, I’m about to lose my job, I’m a complete burden on my family, my brother and my husband both hate me. Idk what I’m doing. I don’t even know why I fucking try anymore.

[rachaelssdiary]

Something is seriously wrong with me. Why do I have to mess everything up.

[rachaelssdiary]

I’m so stupid. I can’t believe how fucking stupid I am. How could anybody ever really love me. I’m disgusting.

[rachaelssdiary]

I think I’m going to kill myself tomorrow.

[rachaelssdiary]

All I ever do is ruin everybody else’s lives. I ruin everything.

[rachaelssdiary]

I’m done.

Fuck the therapy. Fuck the drugs. Fuck the mindfulness. Fuck the positive affirmations. Fuck the talking. Fuck the feelings.

FUCK ALL OF IT.

I’m so FUCKING done.

[rachaelssdiary]

I think I’m actually losing my mind. I can’t tell what’s real anymore. Somebody please kill me.

[rachaelssdiary]

I don’t know what’s real anymore.

[rachaelssdiary]

I just want to die.

Every time. Every time I think maybe it getting better, life just fucks me.

I’m so tired.

And I’m so tired of people telling me to talk to them or talk about my feelings.

It doesn’t matter. None of it matters. Every time, the only I get out of it is broken promises.

[rachaelssdiary]

I’m an awful wife and mother. I should just give up and die.

[rachaelssdiary]

My therapist asks me if I have thoughts of hurting myself. My husband never ask me anything. What am I supposed to say?

[rachaelssdiary]

I really can’t do this anymore. Please just let me die

[flowerytale]

Sally Rooney, from Normal People

[rachaelssdiary]

Last night my husband slept on the couch.

It was the best sleep I’ve had in months.

[rachaelssdiary]

I can’t have sex anymore. The smallest thing makes me want to vomit. All I can feel are his hands and I want to set myself on fire.

I’m the worst wife in the world

[rachaelssdiary]

I’m never enough. I’ve never been enough. I’ll never be enough. What is wrong with me.

[rachaelssdiary]

It’s my first wedding anniversary and my husband came home, barely talked to me, left to get his own food, and then came back and went to watch tv in the bedroom by himself. I just want to die.