i'll fight like hell to hide that i'm giving up @radoncanyoncryptid - Tumblr Blog

the gay pirates have overtaken my brain and I'm mad about it

#there's not enough HERE to properly obsess over #I've read the same fic a dozen times just with the words in a slightly different order #god help me I'm gonna read it a dozen more

so I'm slightly stoned at the Claremont metrolink station and there's some sort of concert thing going on with four old dudes playing instrumental stuff that would not sound out of place on a later mountain goats album and it is very much a vibe

I keep wanting to make a joke about how my hair is keeping pace with my current media obsession and I liked the Josh Homme a lot better than the Justin Taylor, but I suppose I can't really call it a pattern without a third example

#It's like s2 Justin hair too #I don't even care for it on Justin #also if anything I relate to Brian #yes I know that's bad #seriously if I don't get this job by Friday I'm taking a goddamned bic razor to my head See If I Don't

tried to donate plasma and they literally took my blood pressure and went "uhhh, are you okay?" so that's delightful

could this possibly be a real thing? it seems entirely too good to be true.

#me: I cannot hand out any more resumes to blank smiles can someone please just give me a job and I promise I will do the fuck out of it #some fuckin app: okay here you go #I am Suspicious #but also holy fuck please be real

radoncanyoncryptid

I have made some mistakes and I would just like to be a barista again.

radoncanyoncryptid

...life is deeply strange, y'all.

#I'm perfectly glad to be a barista #as jobs go I like it and I'm good at it #but holy shit man #the difference fiveish years makes

when journey comes on the radio: don't stop believing

when my most annoying customer walks toward his car: don't stop. be leaving.

#he wasn't. -_-#dude hangs out playing hot spot for literal hours #always gives me false hope by briefly getting in his car at least twice

radoncanyoncryptid

have decided to add cranberry curd tart to my thanksgiving repertoire this year. stirring a pot of thick, sticky deep-red goop for several minutes straight, otherwise unmoving while quietly singing "mosquito song" is...well, it's a look, I'm sure.

radoncanyoncryptid

...so is shoving my entire face into the bowl because goddamn that is good, okay it's settled I'm never making cheesecake again

#had to sieve the fucker three times and it's still the easiest dessert I've ever made #also y'know. means I get to lick the sieve as well.#look I'm fastidious about anything anyone else will be eating #the bowls are mine and don't you fuckin judge me #on to the pumpkin pie...

have decided to add cranberry curd tart to my thanksgiving repertoire this year. stirring a pot of thick, sticky deep-red goop for several minutes straight, otherwise unmoving while quietly singing "mosquito song" is...well, it's a look, I'm sure.

so I just came within millimeters of taking a Pacifico to the neck and maybe it's just the sleep deprivation, but I am cracking fuck up at the thought of trying to explain that to anyone

"look I know I've made a few jokes about how since I can't fuck Joshua Homme I'm just gonna become him, but I swear I'm just a clumsy oaf and this was completely unintentional"

#the bottlecap woulda caught me at the exact right angle and everything #...no I'm not slightly annoyed that I DIDN'T just cut my neck open that would be stupid >_>#queens of the Stone age #this is too dumb for the reddit and I have really got to stop qotsa-spamming Nicole

totally just passed a Michael Distortion cosplayer at Midsummer Scream but failed to register it until I was too far away to comment :(

how the hell are the people lining up to fling themselves over a goddamned 600-foot cliff the same ones going "owie 😣 viper huwted my head i don't like it 😣😣"

#I have discovered thoosie reddit #I think I maybe find thoosies insufferable #haven't fully decided yet

*day three of being trapped in a rollercoaster wikivortex* not a drop, not a drop, not a real drop, that is a banked turn, not a drop... christ alive, whatever happened to reaching the top of the lift hill and looking down like Oh I Have Fucked Up?

#kindly take your ''dive drop'' and shove it up your ass that is a particularly steep curve #damnit I miss arrow dynamics

*mixing gatorade into a slush puppie* potion of please don't explode my head

#the inland empire is trying to kill me again y'all #it's low-key succeeding and this is Day Fuckin One of the real heat #on the plus side it turns out that lightning blast gatorade in a cherry slushy is genuinely delicious

man I love upcharging cops and giving discounts to garbage men :)

#don't mind me I'm just feeling spicy because I'm getting an ACAB tattoo today #it's on the Friday the 13th flash and soon it will be on me

*watching people casually roleplay on tma Reddit* how are you doing that?

#no seriously #how are you doing that and not getting smacked down for it #how are you getting people playing along #and not responses that range from tolerant indifference to outright disdain?#I do not understand.

Oh I Cannot Feel My Face :)

#Norcos sleep deprivation and a buzzball go brrrrr #I love it when I literally can't feel my face #like heeeey that's a real thing! neat!#I have been at work for 16 hours and have been staring longingly at the blue buzzballs for most of 'em #shit tastes like koolaid. but with alcohol #which is so much better

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i'll fight like hell to hide that i'm giving up