I put the "raw" in "rawr"

I'm Amethyst; I'm not a troll or a ruler of the gem world or even an member of the Crystal gems (although that would be pretty rad) I'm just an girl who happens to be named "Amethyst" & once Anne Shirley said that we should strive to live up to our names and I'm hoping someday I'll do just that.

[strawberrygardenkisses]

⋆˚꩜｡ Name moodboard for Jocelyn ⋆˚꩜｡

[tashathestoryteller]

Where I'm blogging from

[2000s-fall-vibes]

[issydubcom]

[5555ilenthill]

[radthyst]

I'm an orphan at 35.

I'm too young to be an orphan.

My Dad died about 5 years ago and my Mom died last spring.

This last year felt like 10 years and I'm just happy I'm not homeless and everything worked out for me.

God is my parent now and I'm living each day trying to make my parent's proud and live in an way that honors them but I fail all the time!

[radthyst]

Sometimes I read the Bible and feel as if God is talking directly to me through it.

Lately I've been feeling ill and I'm not sure if it's antidepressants withdrawal (cuz my stupid prescription won't go through) or if it's just all the things going on in my life internally manifesting as body aches and mental breakdowns.

I just had a good cry because it all is too much right now.

I try very hard to not feel my emotions and I think it's literally making me ill.

I give up, I'm going to put my trust in God and let him gain me in all this.

I'm shy, I'm frustrated, I'm sad, angry and bitter and I don't see any goodness in myself.

There is no goodness in me outside of Christ.

I don't mean this to be self righteous but to be Christ righteous. I need God. I was made in the image of him to contain and express him, not me.

[radthyst]

I want to save every song lyrics that makes me think of him and make a mishap real vow.

For our wedding I just opted for the "I do" answer vows because at that point in my life I just wanted the wedding to be short and sweet.

I think vows are forever and ever changing as we grow together and level up through life.

I keep getting inspired to try and renow our vows every year with sweet, sentimental and thoughtful creative things.

I feel like there isn't enough words in the English language to ever explain how profoundly I love him and fall even more in love with him every year.

This darn mush episode was triggered by the song "finding something to do" and "when we first met" by Hellogoodbye.

I need a fucking notebook dedicated to my husband.

I'm sick of showing darn snip bits on my phone to him.

I want something solid and completely hand made and raw to give him every year.

I've had a huge craving for creating, whether it's poems, collages or covering songs.

I want to learn the ukulele or learn to play my cat piano and do covers of my favorite songs.

I love singing, I'm not very good, but I'm not completely bad.

My husband says I'm good but he's bias.

Regardless I just want to sing things despite my talent because I enjoy it.

I don't have to be good at something to enjoy the process.

[itsallmadonnasfault]

[jessescoldbrew]

“And what do you sacrifice?”

“Calm. Kindness. Kinship. Love. I’ve given up all chance at inner peace. I’ve made my mind a sunless space. I share my dreams with ghosts. I wake up every day to an equation I wrote fifteen years ago from which there’s only one conclusion, I’m damned for what I do. My anger, my ego, my unwillingness to yield, my eagerness to fight they’ve set me on a path from which there’s no escape. I yearned to be a savior against injustice without contemplating the cost and by the time I looked down there was no longer any ground beneath my feet. What is my sacrifice? I’m condemned to use the tools of my enemy to defeat them. I burn my decency for someone else’s future. I burn my life to make a sunrise I know I’ll never see. And the ego that started this fight will never have a mirror or an audience or the light of gratitude. So what do I sacrifice? Everything!”

Andor giving us some of the greatest dialogue in Star Wars ever put to pen and a hauntingly real insight as to the cost of revolution. The ugly, incalculable cost.

[witchleia]

There will be times when the struggle seems impossible. I know this already. Alone, unsure, dwarfed by the scale of the enemy.

Remember this, Freedom is a pure idea. It occurs spontaneously and without instruction. Random acts of insurrection are occurring constantly throughout the galaxy. There are whole armies, battalions that have no idea that they’ve already enlisted in the cause.

Remember that the frontier of the Rebellion is everywhere. And even the smallest act of insurrection pushes our lines forward.

And remember this: the Imperial need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear.

Remember that. And know this, the day will come when all these skirmishes and battles, these moments of defiance will have flooded the banks of the Empires’s authority and then there will be one too many. One single thing will break the siege.

Remember this: Try.

[radthyst]

I haven't cried in forever and stupid Mother Mother had a song called "Only love" & the chorus made me cry.

"Only love could fuck me up this much"

I made a Playlist on Spotify dedicated to songs that remind me of or that help me mourn my Dad's passing 08/15/21

I'm still in shock and angry he couldn't walk me down the isle or laugh at my silly fortune cookie proposal.

Part of me doesn't want to even have kids because they'll never get to meet him.

I just really miss my Dad and I wasn't ready for him to be out of my life yet.

I know he's not in pain anymore and that he's in a better place and I feel fucking selfish for being angry and sad but sometimes it just hits me like a train and I can't stop trains.

[everythingstarstuff]

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

"No one can love you until you love yourself" is like the worst possible way of articulating "if you don't respect and value yourself, it's very easy to become attracted to people who don't treat you right and then justify their mistreatment, so be careful."

[bus-noises]

This is genuinely hilarious to me

[pastel-hazey-dreams]

[enderdrive]