a pirate's life for me.

Rafe Hook. 20. No, I don't steal shit, yes I generally keep to myself and don't like wasting my time, so beware before you try to be my friend. I'd rather be writing than talking to you. Proceed with caution.

[rafehook]

TEXT | HOOK DADDIES

Lui: Okay, okay, less death, more chaotic funneling people into places they're not expecting to be! Like, Yen Sid could just get bored and snap his fingers and put us inside of tornadoes and have them pop us out in wherever they feel like, screw Oz, random locations is better.

Lui: IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU PICKED A GENIUS! I don't get why people say there's too much of a good thing, you can never save too many babies.

Rafe: I would appreciate to NOT get Thanos'ed while I'm trying to graduate, thanks.

Rafe: And how would you judge their previous homes? What if you're actually taking them from loving parents that you caught on a bad day?

[rafehook]

Text Message || Serafe

Serenity: Please note that the following text can either be read as a simple yes or no question OR a fun fact/reminder depending on if you already know the answer. (:

Serenity: Did You Know... That my sister and Jay had sex?

Rafe: ....what? No they didn't. There's no way they've had sex. He would've told me when I made him babysit with her.

Rafe: ..........................OH. Did they......did they do it......while they were babysitting? 🤢🤢🤢 Did I indirectly orchestrate my friend fucking your sister?

[rafehook]

are you and serenity going to make a baby anytime soon?

Oh, we’d love to physically manifest a human that could potentially have both of our neuroses combined while we’re still raising a toddler. That’ would be the smartest decision ever. 

ASK ME ANYTHING AND I’LL ANSWER WITH DEFINITE LIES.

[rafehook]

🌻

Preschool enrollment can suck my dick. 

SEND ME ‘🌻’ AND I’LL TELL YOU WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT.

[rafehook]

Would you rather be a pirate or a prince?

Why choose? I’d pick both. 

ASK ME ANYTHING AND I’LL ANSWER WITH DEFINITE LIES.

[rafehook]

TEXT | HOOK DADDIES

Lui: HELL YEAH! Next time I'm squatting ALL summer, and you guys aren't allowed to get sick of me, it's the law! Not that we're following laws since I'm gonna tie Gwen up and bring her too, she'll love it, it's fine!

Lui: BABIES DESERVE GOOD HOMES!!!

Rafe: Hopefully there's not a next time for our political leader to die suddenly and shit us back out into our hometowns, but I appreciate the sentiment.

Rafe: Look, when my lovely, beautiful, stupid, impulsive girlfriancee stole a baby and gave it a good home, that was meant to be a one-time thing. She wasn't trying to set some kind of TREND.

[rafehook]

TEXT | HOOK DADDIES

Lui: I WAS INVITED??? Shit, what was I doing stealing babies and giving them good homes all summer when I could have been with my favorite not-a-baby-anymore-baby instead!!!

Lui: And also YOU!!! I KNEW YOU LOVED ME, HA!!!

Rafe: Of course you were invited, dumbass! Gwen probably didn't tell you because she doesn't want to set foot in Aquarion like, ever. Also I'm sorry WHAT were you guys doing???

Rafe: I refuse to acknowledge that until you tell me why you guys were STEALING BABIES???

[rafehook]

TEXT | HOOK DADDIES

Rafe: Hey, motherfucker. Rude of you to show back up in town only for us to instantly be ejected from it and THEN not even hang out with us in Aquarion over the summer.

Rafe: I didn't even get to tell you that I missed you.

[rafehook]

Text Message || HOS

Serenity: You're welcome, but also, you're the worst, so you're not, lol. I can't wait for the day you and Mel become best friends because that's karma. Inono if it's more bad juju on me or on you, but I like to think you, so :P Lol.

Rafe: Okay I agreed with her ONE time, we're not ever gonna be BEST FRIENDS.

Rafe: God, I love you.

[rafehook]

Text Message || HOS

Serenity: I'm so glad I mentioned that I can't stand your ass already today. xP

Rafe: 😘😘😘 Thank you for the birthday wishes, btw! I'd say I feel old but I've got a kid and I'm practically married, so in actuality I feel rather young.

[rafehook]

Text Message || HOS

Serenity: Semantics. Being her brother wasn't the only curse I was talking about, but points for making that connection and making me snort. XD It's not a challenge! It's just the truth! I'm torn between "Don't act like I would not say yes right there, asshole!" and "Points to you for picking the one place I literally would not be able to walk away from the situation", lmao.

Rafe: So you'd say yes. 👀 Noted.

[rafehook]

Text Message || HOS

Serenity: I'm sure you could have, lol. Point made. Let's be honest though, I'd still have a few worries. You'd be more susceptible to those curses I mentioned and you'd be my sister's brother being the top two, lol. I knew you weren't proposing, babe. You're too much of a sap to do it over text message, lol. ;P

Rafe: whoa whoa whoa whoa, *brother-in-LAW. Which means I'm really not as cursed as you may think. Oh yeah?? Is that...a challenge? Because I will propose in the least sappy way possible just to spite you. I'll propose to you on the toilet. I'll propose while YOU'RE on the toilet.

[rafehook]

Text Message || HOS

Serenity: This is starting to feel like one of those conversations we need to have in person, lol. But here it goes anyways, just so there is any confusion, I love and value what we have. I love and value YOU. I could not dream of doing...any of what we do...with anybody else. You are my favorite human being and unless you grow a sense between now and forever, I've already resolved that I'm going to spend my whole life with you. M*rried or not, lol. Domesticity doesn't scare me, especially not with you. Endings scare me. (And curses involving l*ve freak me out a bit too because I'm a princess and that shit happens A LOT.)

Serenity: I'm telling her you said that. xP

Rafe: Yeah, same to all of that. I couldn't have said it better myself. Though I will venture to add a point: that when people get m*rried, theoretically, there is no intention of having an "end". Til death do you part or whatever. Like divorce HAPPENS but no one really goes into a marriage expecting a divorce. So theoretically, you'd have nothing to worry about if we did do that. Just a thought. I am not proposing.

[rafehook]

Text Message || HOS

Serenity: DUDE! D: FIRST OFF! We were doing all of that BEFORE we were officially together or whatever! And second! ...YEAH, MAYBE! But you still don't call out the girl who has a bad tendency of self sabotaging all good things in her life when she gets overwhelmed, especially not in a public forum! And when she knows she does it so she asks you to just drop it and move on so she doesn't think about it. I don't need outside help to get inside my own head. xP

Serenity: ALSO. Most stereotypical movies have the sex life dying after people get married, so that's Unique, lol.

Rafe: I'm just sayin', it's not a bad thing! As a person who didn't grow up with married parents, this domesticity is kinda nice. We don't have to be like all of the kids in this town, getting engaged after like six months of dating. I'm perfectly content never actually getting married if you don't want to think about that, if that makes you feel any better.

Rafe: But Melody is not ~wrong.

[rafehook]

Text Message || HOS

Serenity: Logic has no home here. :(

Serenity: She said we're basically married.

Rafe: Are we not? I mean, we live together, have a kid, have sex like five times a week....is that not basically married behavior?

[rafehook]

Text Message || HOS

Serenity: I don't know if that says more about me or her, lmao. NOTHING.

Rafe: ??? well if she didn't DO anything, then how does she deserve this verdict? Not that I'm ever defending her, but there must have been something that set you off. There always is. 🙃

[rafehook]

Text Message || HOS

Serenity: Just in case there is a running bet going around town on how long my sister had to be back before making me wish she wasn't, today is the day. I hope one of you made some money, lol.

Rafe: Oh, I just assumed it was as soon as she touched down. What'd she do/say this time?