alexandra. 30. she/her. lesbian. french canadian. chronically online. fanfic writer (fishcarabiner87), a very multifandom/random mess of a blog. this is a digital museum of things that i like
more about me | welcome to my dumpster personal space! i post about what inspires me as quotes, photography, food, you name it! it's all about nostalgia here (old shows that are over, hockey players that are retired, a cartoon, tv show or a telenovela that's almost a decade ago years old). everyday, i also post a visual diary (#alexandra.vd) about my day and i yap a lot about nothing and everything (#alexandra.txt)
about my specific interests | big hockey fan since 2008 and i'm an avid habs fan (#habs lb during game day) & i also like other specific players around the league. big fan of the iihf international competitions (#team canada & finland, mostly) ♡✧a f1 fan & recently got into tennis ♡✧ a post-hard launch dan/phil fan
as a writer (and a big disclaimer) | i use a lot of rpf (hockey players, racers, dnp) mostly as characters filler in my stories or the main characters. and i have a whole universe named the milouverse as a specific lore/world building that i've been building for too many years. most of the time, the rpf part saves my mind from imagining a certain character. and most of the hockey players are usually in it as a treat for me as it invokes nostalgia and/or they are literally a nod to my faves.
i also adore to write about the milouvians, a bunch of teenagers who like to save the world (since 2017)
a meeting with martin st-louis (the interview translation)
for @martin-st-louis <3
the quintessential interview of 2022, this is my favorite one ever. so, i'm once again getting out my translation retirement to offer you this one. for context: this went out right after he was hired a coach by montréal back in 2022 and he generously sat down with marc denis (<3) from rds. i get so much nostalgia from this martin and i hope it you guys will have a trip down memory lane with me as well enjoy!!!
marc: martin st-louis, head coach of the montréal canadien. if we go back three weeks ago, did you think that we would be there and that i would present you as the the montréal canadien headcoach?
martin: not really, no. it was fast. and it's funny because i always said to my wife that it's the only way that i will leave before my kids will be out of the house. and i told her "don't worry, that will not happen".
marc: so you didn't really believe it...
martin: not really...
marc: like helping the pee-wee, your son's hockey club, that a nhl team would call you?
martin: it just takes a guy like kent, you know. so when kent got the job, i told myself: if there is a guy that is able to take these kinds of decisions, it's him. so, it was like a domino effect. i can told you that in the last 10 years, i was preparing for it. i didn't know when it was, i didn't know if i would've started as an assistant coach and then, go up but if i would've been approached 5 years ago, i would've said no. first, my kids were still too young.
marc: i was about to say, you were not ready because the timing wasn't there.
martin: yeah, i really wanted this time with my kids. when i saw kent got the job i told myself: you never know but if it happens, i think i'm ready. i have had enough time with my kids. not just on the ice but also the human side of it. and they are in a good place.
marc: three years ago, you were at columbus, it was more of a part time job and especially for the pp, at this time, was it just because it wasn't good timing or situation?
martin: it was really not the time. torts called me january first and he asked me if i could help him remotely and he didn't want me to leave my family. and i said yes, to do whatever i can to help him. so i started to call different coaches, to have ideas and i was going 2-3 weeks. i love the experience but i'm a guy that likes to do it at a 100%, not just a part of it. i didn't like that part but it would've been more fun to be in the room with the guys, on the ice from time to time, it gave me a little flame inside; i cannot wait to do that 100% all the time.
marc: we played together and let's not talk about the past, who was before you, but what were the circumstances of that phone call with kent hughes? are you with heather (WE LOVE YOU HEATHER)? where are you?
martin: kent and i know each other for a very long time. kent grew up in montréal, i was playing for a team in there and he was my coach. he is like 5 years older than me. kent was a good hockey player, he had the most points in his team. so we always talked about hockey, him and i. i already knew him because he was vincent's agent (HI VINCENT MENTION). we didn't talk a lot of hockey back then but when i retired, we coach one against the other, so we saw each other all the time. our boys when to the usa program together so we saw and talked about hockey. and it's interesting to talk with a guy that is in the business but that also knows hockey.
marc: from a perspective that we didn't know. we played, he was an agent.
martin: so since we talk often to each other, when he calls me it's not as if i think about that (the coach's position). when asked me to do it, it was very flattering and like i said... the flame got lit pretty fast.
marc: the flame got lit, that's martin st-louis right there to make people understand, it lives in you, you like to talk about it. you were talking about the flame that is not just in you, it's in the eyes as well. it lights you up.
martin: i was always like that. when i was younger, i was playing and a watching a lot of hockey. i wasn't talking about it that much but it was a passion that i developed. and with the passion and the teaching that you get from different people, you then become your own person, your own teacher/coach. so that's a different passion. to play and to teach. the two are related but when i scored a big goal, it's a different feeling. when you coach, it's to show things to the players and to look at them, that's another goal for me. it's a good feeling.
marc: is it a challenge to balance the attention that you draw as a coach and let the players in room be themselves? there was a lot of talk about leadership that you told that you would assume a part (back then) but because we played, we know there's a part from the players as well. so how is that a challenge?
martin: the biggest challenge is to install the culture. once the culture is there, it regulates itself. when you're at this level, you're always gonna give yourself a chance to have success.
marc: you had different coaches, various different personalities (name drops a couple of them), are you abe to recognize that there's a little bit of them in what martin st-louis is about to become as a coach today?
martin: for sure. they were all different coaches. (name drop them) they are all have qualities that i respect that makes me the coach or the person that i am today. that's how you improve and learn. i'm not the type of guy that thinks that he has everything and that he knows everything. i don't have all the answers but i go by the experience that i had and the influence that i had to search for these answers. and the answers are everywhere, you just have to find them. and that's something that i was always good at: find the answers.
marc: let's go back to your path as a player. you said it, you had different situations. you talked about survival mode and to live also. you were an key players in different tournaments, individually, you were a player that had to fight when you were rejected by some teams. which step of the way helped you shaped the person and coach that you are?
martin: i honestly wouldn't say that it's only one. i would saw that it's the whole of it. when you're in the minors and you go up to the nhl, you're benched, 4th line, pk, you don't have pp minutes, you try to improve yourself. the expectations are different when you're the guy that won the art trophy. honestly, i had a hard time from going to the good player to the star player. i was comfortable to be the underdog.
marc: something that you've been all your life.
martin: i was comfortable but... i wasn't that anymore. so if you look at it, there was the lock out in 2004-2005, that was my contract year of 6 years that i signed. i was not the underdog anymore. i was the star. and i had a difficult year. the first year of that contract was the hardest. it took me time to accept that i was that. i scored 13 goals in my last 18 games to score 30 or 31 goals just for me to be able to say: it wasn't so bad. i had 61 points i think. i had 94 the year before. my second of year of this contract, vincent and i (ST-LECAVALIER MENTION) we made 100 points, i had 40. it was really difficult when i became "that player". and not be the underdog.
marc: is it something that could happen? like, your name wasn't anywhere, you were in the pee-wee some made jokes about it, you arrive here a little bit like a surprise (editor note: IT WAS), underestimated, the things are going well for now. they are not perfect but they will never be anyways, would you think it would be difficult? do you think it would play on the interim stamp?
martin: i don't know but i know that i'm more ready today because of this experience, from being "that guy". the pressure of it, to accept it. i'm not an undergod anymore. maybe people are seeing me as an interim and i got to show it and i know that i have to show it. but honestly, if i'm not the guy, i'm not and i'm ok with that, i have a beautiful life on the other side. and i will be ok with that, i will go back to what i do and it will be in the hockey and i'll have fun. and i say it all the time: for me, hockey is hockey. so i'm talking to all these guys, i coach these guys the same way,
marc: but to go from there and to come and coach the biggest historical organization and with all respect, that's not the seattle kraken that has 3 months history, we're talking about the 31 organization that's a little flat today. so going from all of this, it prepared you for that?
martin: maybe, i don't know... (cue my favorite msl quote from all the time) am i intimidated by the caandien because it's the canadien? not really. i grew up here. you know, i've always been a fan of the canadiens. so, i am not intimated by the canadien, it was my team when i was younger. and by coming here, i know that the players all have canadien jerseys and all but i don't coach the logo, i coach the player himself (those damn seasonal alergies.....) as i said it, i treat, talk, help, teach all the same things. i'm doing all the same. and for me, there's one way to do things in life: with respect, work, and why would it be different? why would i be doing treat a 14 yo less than a 28 yo player? why? and for me, hockey is hockey and life is life. i am me and i'm comfortable. i don't have to pretend that i'm this person.
marc: it's all about perspectives, what you're saying. you were talking about the canadien, when you were younger, let's go back to that. i want to talk about something that was really emotional for you: the last time in 2014 in the playoffs on the road for a stanley cup the canadien was on your road, this time, it was in ecf. you are living the most difficult emotional moments of your career, how were you feeling at this moment? do you have any memories of that?
martin: i was very mentally numb. it was a shock. and honestly, you know... i didn't really have the time to stop my life and process because we were in the playoffs. if i wouldn't have been in the playoffs, i would've dealt with it very differently. and i think that being in the playoffs, it helped me and my family to cope with this big devastating situation. and the canadien was losing 3-2 against the pens. we came back from the pens and i was trying to plan the funerals of my mom. and if the habs are winning, we play against them. so i can plan that between the games. the canadien came back and they beat boston. so, since it was here, all my team was able to come. it was only two months since i was there, since i was traded here. so all this experience really helped me get close to the rest of the team really fast. the canadien were awesome because they sent guy lafleur and réjean houle, my dad's favorite player is guy. the way it all unfolded, it gave us a chance to... give myself a lot of attention: i was in the playoffs and i was playing against the habs. but if there is someone that deserves all that attention, it was my mom (THOSE DAMN ALERGIES, I SWEAR) because she never wanted this attention. she was so.... there was no one that doesn't like my mom and there's nobody that my mom doesn't like. she was amazing. when she died, she had so much attention and she never wanted it. we miss her really much...
marc: speaking of being closer to your team, scoring that ot goal in ecf must've helped too.
martin: yeah... there was so many emotions... happy, sad... all mixed together, angry, rage. if you see the mother's day goal, game 6 at home, i scored on my first shift and that's not a beautiful goal whatsoever, it just touched my tights and the puck went in the net. i go to the corner and i hit my stick in the boards, i almost hit the refs, i'm so happy, angry, sad, i don't know...
marc: it's a mixed emotions.
martin: oh, yeah. so hockey helped me to get through this.
marc: we talked a lot about all you path to what brings you here, we understand the timing from one part and another, what shaped you. how do you see the challenges of the canadien, the next steps, from another level of the organization, changes?
martin: i think that the challenge is going to be what kent and jeff are trying to put together. everything is going gradually and how do you put it all together so we go on the same direction? how do we all work together? it's the biggest challenge of the organization and how it affects my work, it's from day to day. i'm not involved in the trades, injuries. i have the habit not to worry about the things that i don't control. so it's to keep going what i want to do with the guys that are here.
marc: the better the culture will be, the faster you'll be able to take the lead (i don't know how to translate that part).
martin: exactly. the more we move forward, the less that i coach, the less i teach. once we get there, it's the players that teach themselves. you're only there to make sure that they are on the right track. the players feel that it belongs to themselves. and you (as a coach) you guide them.
marc: the first day you arrived in office, we were at the heights of the centre bell and we had cameras on and we caught some of your first images when you came in, in the afternoon. you went behind the bench, you took some pictures in the middle of the ice. what kind of emotions you had and what kind of emotions you realized you wanted to live? that's how we're going to end it.
martin: what kind of emotions? i was really happy, flattered. but in all of that, i know i always talk about confidence and i always believe in myself but there’s a bit where it’s scares me, you know? but it scared me going to the corner to get the puck, but i was going anyway. being afraid of something doesn’t mean you will not do all the good things, but this feeling you sometimes don't control it, it goes in your head. and it’s normal. i know i have a big challenge and i will give everything to success, even if it scares me a little.
i cannot believe that people are blind enough to believe that just because jordan wasn't in the homophobic statement of eric and marc, he's not an homophobe 💀💀💀 and the sky is red.
