âWhatever may happenâŠyouâll always be the most important person in our lives.â
Gods, she was a horrible person. How did she manage to bring herself to be cruel to them? Why had it been so easy to push herself to do it, just with the idea that in the end, it was only to protect them? âProtect themâ..by hurting them? By lying to them?
Sheâs not sure if it was how genuinely kind they were to someone like her, or if it was because that kindness was coupled with the gentle action of resting his hand on her shoulder, but she can fill the familiar sting in her eyes, and the gathering of a warm liquid at the corners. She immediately misses it when itâs taken away, and she internally chastises herself. As touch starved as she now was, she had no right to crave such affections from someone sheâd treated so horribly.
âIâm sorry.â heâd meant it jokingly, she could hear it in his tone, and she could see it in the playful squint of his eye. He wasnât really angry with her â stars above, why not? He should hate her! He should curse her name and the very ground she walks upon, spit out every mention of her with enough venom to perhaps finally take her down, for good.. Yet the most he does is tease. âIâI didnât mean itâany of it. I know that doesnât make it better, orâor make it okay, but I.. You..both of you are..youâre so very important to me, and I will apologize to Seeker, tooâhowever much I need to, I will, I promise, butâ Iâm so, so sorry, Samael.â
A part of her, within the crushing regret and self-hatred, is relieved that she has something else to focus on â even if it is still him. Sheâd abandoned him, and Seeker, and everyone else in their universe. Wasnât it only right that she look to devote herself to their well-beings now, in any attempt to make up for it? It certainly wouldnât change it, or make it better, or erase what sheâd done in any way, but she at least owed it to them to do better than she had, before. Itâs probably wrong â most likely wrong, to think she can turn around and act like this, now. Itâs worse that she knows they might accept it â most of them surely will. Sheâs such a horrible, selfish creature.
âYouâre a shit liar, you know that?â Sheâs glad she can still laugh at it, despite the way itâs choked out past the tears that still threatened to fall.âI still have a med kit, somewhere â where else are you hurt? I might not be able to do anything for the holier wounds, but..even if you two did do something for the regular ones, let me make sure everythingâs really alright, if I can?â
He had not expected her to react in such a way, how foolish of him not to consider that she too might have suffered doing what she had done that day. She was always so rash on taking decision for the good of others and never one thinking about herself. What makes matter worse, Samael had known her long enough to figure out what her train of thought was at this moment.
Her reply all but confirms it. He can see the guilt in her eyes, the pain she was inflicting on herself as she regretted what had transpired. She probably had hoped they hated her for it and Samael feels a sting in his chest as the guilt of of how he felt that day comes back to him. In the end, both of them regret what was said to the other.
To believe teasing her over such a subject would enact a different response to this one, how stupid he was...
âH-Hey...Kathy itâs alright, I was just teasing you about it. You really have nothing to apologize for. Seeker...both he and I know why you did what you did and hold nothing against you. Heck if anything maybe I wished you would have just told us the truth instead of saying all that but all that is in the pastâ
Had he hugged her without realizing after she had finished speaking? Why yes, he had. Kathy might be touch starved for being alone for who knows how long but so have Seeker and him...they missed her more than anything and after seeing her break down like that Samael couldnât hold it anymore.
âApologizing is all good and well...but we all have had enough time to know what we need most isnât words but something else...just...forget about any past mistake that may haunt you from seeing us and letâs go back to simply being happy for being reunited after so long. How does that sound?â Were those words only directed a Kathy? Or were they for him as well? Who can tell...
He breaks away from the hug as embarrassment fills him from being caught lying. âHaha...nothing gets past you. A-as I said, letâs not worry about past stuff and just focus on the now right? Besides...that might take you all day,,,â He murmurs that last part hoping she doesnât hear it.