rain. @rain-is-a-friend - Tumblr Blog

Hello everyone! 👋🏻Who do you wanna see me write or what do you want me to write, I’ve been busy but I’m sure I’ll get to writing in a little. ☺️

Hard to say no to another drink or another pill, hard to say no when it comes down feeling better and alive or at least numb. Hard to beat the demons inside my head, barely feeling my hands and feet. It’s as if I’m gliding, watching the world pass like a movie through my very own eyes. Saying that it’s alright to get another drink or another pill just to feel fine, just to keep living but yet it isn’t a life. It’s just waiting for your expiration date.

I just need one day, one day to myself. One day I can stop worrying and stop feeling this way, stop feeling guilty. I thought I was getting better so why is this happening? I can’t stop my hands from shaking, can’t stop losing my mind. I just want some help, I just need some relief because it’s scary. I don’t even know why I feel this way.

I really need a drink, anyone wanna buy me one?

I’m losing my head and I can’t describe this feeling, it’s as if I’m watching myself lose my head. My fingers start to get numb and the breathing starts to get heavy, these thoughts that I can’t control. It’s as I’m not the edge of life, I can’t breathe, help me. It’s coming back again, these feelings and the helplessness. I don’t want to go back down this path, but I feel like I’m losing my mind more and more each day. Help me.

Don’t look back, don’t look down, remember the reasons why it’s in the past. Learn from the mistakes instead of fixating on them and telling yourself your flaws. Learn day by day that it’s alright to have a hard time, that’s it alright to feel sad sometimes. Just gotta learn how to push the though.

Can’t wrap my head around it, can’t describe this feeling. I wonder if I’m still depressed? Cause Everytime it gets better it only comes crashing down. It’s as if I’m watching my life pass, can’t move my feet. Finding comfort in things, getting addicted to things I should never should be in the first place.

Can’t feel the ground, doesn’t feel real. It’s just a day to day basis of living yet just watching the world pass. Losing my head throughout everything, can’t think straight. Don’t even know what my head is going through, fading in and out of life. Can’t even trust myself, tell myself lies everyday, just to live another day the same way.

With every little thing you do, my heart flutters a little and I could feel my breathe hitch everytime I see you. My breathe truly was taken away whenever I see you, my love. I’m so glad to have you by my side and I can’t describe how happy you make me feel. For the first time in my life, I feel content and satisfied with my life and where it’s going. Everytime I take a look at you and realize how lucky I am to have you to be mine and only mine. How lucky I was that you waited for me all this while and the comfort you’ve given to me all this while. This feeling that you give me that I can never describe with words, it tightens up my stomach and chest, it was I had the world at the tip of my hands.

Youth

I’ve grown yet I’m still young, I’ve seen the world in a different light. There’s so much more to grow from, there’s so little time to see the world yet here I stand eager to do everything in the little time I have. I understand that it may seem much at times, overwhelming and the world may feel like it’s spinning and nothing makes sense yet I tell myself to stand my ground. I continue to walk towards my goals not allowing anything or anyone to stop me from my dreams and my faith. Even if I don’t know where the road leads me and what the end offers me, I’m still content knowing I walked my own path and made my own ending.

I HOPE U FEEL BETTER ILY

I do! I hope to start writing again soon, follow where my inspirations take me. I know it’ll be a rough start at first but soon the ideas will be flowing to me. I want to continue writing for my followers and I hope that my followers are doing alright.

ily

OH WOW IM SUCH A FAN, I can’t believe one of my idols is talking to me. DM me

I miss you Your words spoke to my heart Hope you are doing okay 😁❤️

Hey, I’m sorry I haven’t been active. I’ve been very busy with life in general but I’m doing good. Thank you for supporting me even through the downs. ❤️

Sometimes You lay on the cold floor,

And the music won’t help,

And the talking won’t ease the pain,

The thinking can’t stop,

The struggle to breathe continues,

All the things that you once found enjoyable,

Began to lose it’s charm,

The people you love and the people that care,

They don’t seem to help you like they use to,

It’s just empty,

Empty like once before,

So you ask yourself why?

Why?

Why try again?

But one day,

You’ll find that,

At the end of the tunnel,

People are there,

Waiting for you with open arms,

So you stay alive,

You fight back,

Willingly, courageously, bravely,

Wanting to live,

This is the way of life.

A battle, never ending.

As I take each step, I take a deep breathe. This never ending road, that lies infront of me, the decisions I have to make, the responsibilities I have to take is it right? I ask myself, what’s wrong or right without guidance, I look for the answers not knowing what’s the truth. I’m finding myself lost, is it the right way? I wish I could just be like the rest, the things I have to worry about isn’t the same. It gets harder to breathe with each step, never knowing when will this end. I look everywhere for an answer for myself, but I’m not sure where to go. No matter how hard it is, I continue to push myself and push myself till I forget about those worries. I don’t know what I’ll become tommorw or later today, I don’t know who I’ll become in the future. I don’t know what the future holds for me, I’m not sure what I want to be or who I want to be. Can’t we just let it be? Can’t I just let myself be? Can’t life be simple for a second?

What you write is so fuckin beautiful. Hope you have a great day/night.

Thank you, ☺️☺️I’ve been writing on my own thoughts lately. I do wish I find the time and inspiration to write imagines again.

I keep lying, keep telling myself it’ll get better and lying that I am feeling better not only to the other around me but myself. I feel it coming in waves that come crashing down on me, I’m so tired. I’m so tired of fighting my mind, I’m so tired of feeling this way. When I’m left alone without all the distractions, I feel it, so I bury it down. I bury it with all the people I have, just to replace the piece that she once filled. I’m so tired I just want to sleep peacefully for once and have one day being truly happy. I don’t want to dream about her anymore, they’re sweet dreams but I feel the nightmare when I wake up. My body is beginning to break, I don’t know how much I can do this longer. I know everyone’s cheering me on but how much longer? How much longer till I’ll be alright? It’s worse than ever, I want to forget about my responsibilities just for one second, I want to be free. I’m so tired of fighting for everyone when I can’t fight myself. I’m so weak, trembling and shaking every moment. The roads only seem to get longer and I’m choking, tears running down my face as I chase it down. When will it finally be over?

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