[At the request of a few people who showed interest in my unconventional observation, I decide to actually explain this headcanon and where my thoughts came from.]
But before we get started, it would be good if I made something clear: THIS IS JUST HEADCANON. THIS IS JUST MY PERSONAL THING. I DO NOT CONSIDER IT CANON. I apologize, but I have to point out the difference, as sometimes some people mistake both terms for the same thing. Now we can begin.
Aplatonic; an identity/spectrum based on platonic feelings. As with asexuality and aromanticism, aplatonic individuals experience minimal or no platonic attraction to others, and forming friendships is not a priority or necessity for them. However, aplatonic individuals may still have friends or maintain interpersonal relationships, and sometimes have strong bonds, but they still lack the desires/needs for friendship and do not experience platonic love as platonic person do. This all depends on the individual; aplatonicity (as with Ace and Aro) is a different experience for each individual, and they sometimes use micro-labels to more easily identify their needs and experiences.
One of these is Demiplatonic. As with other demi-related labels, it denotes the experience of platonic attraction after establishing a deeper emotional relationship. Demi-label is often misunderstood and considered an unnecessary term, as it is believed that interpersonal connections arise naturally after a certain amount of time and emotional development. However, in practice, relationships for some people develop very early, and sometimes they are based on simple assumptions, which for others is unimaginable and has never happened before. Demi-label is important and has its reasons for existence.
And that's why I think Demiplatonic is the best term for Twilight Sparkle. It might be confusing at first, because a fictional character whose greatest title is the Princess of Friendship might not be entirely platonic. But it's simple and doesn't contradict the idea.
As we recall from episode 12 of season 5, it turns out that before Twilight came to Ponyville, she had a group of ponies with whom she spent time, and they all knew each other, so theoretically she had friends. This contradicts the information provided at the very beginning of the series. Princess Celestia sends her apprentice to another town, partly hoping to make friends there. Of course, from a practical perspective, this is a simple writing error, as the series wasn't initially intended to be so long, but they wanted to make such an episode. Despite this, this could easily be remedied by suggesting that the group of friends from Canterlot whom Twilight met weren't really friends to her, in a personal sense. She enjoyed spending time with them and attending group gatherings, but they weren't anything more than that. She had a special bond with Celestia, so much so that she could openly admit that, although she appreciated and liked them, she didn't have a close relationship with them.
[Overall, I appreciate that the ruler of Equestria didn't force her to try to form friendships with ponies she clearly didn't have good chemistry with, and this gave her the opportunity to meet new ponies where she could find her place.]
And that's where we come to the Mane Six. While traveling to the old castle of two sisters, she meets them and develops a relationship with the others, one she truly feels comfortable with, and barriers are broken down. This is something she didn't experience in Canterlot. She calls them her friends, finding her own environment, even though it was different from anything she'd experienced before. This is where the Demiplatonic has the right to exist. She needed more for platonic love to exist, and she shared it when the Mane Six appeared in her life. While she appreciated the group of mares from her hometown, she felt no attachment, and they weren't the same as the Mane Six. Life is a journey of its own, and at your own stage, you get to know your surroundings and discover yourself better.
However, it's time to clarify one issue that may conflict with the most important one: how can aplatonicity be linked to the title of Princess of Friendship? How can a character who is supposed to represent friendship have such an attitude? Maybe it's not about having friends, because Pinkie Pie has more than anyone else in the series, and she represents a different element. It's about living in friendship. You don't have to be close friends to respect, tolerate, and accept each other's differences. Twilight isn't friends with Discord because she doesn't like him, but she's open to him and doesn't discriminate against him. Being on the aplatonic spectrum is perfectly fine, a lack of attachment and relationships is also fine, as is being completely single. Let's live in harmony, respect each other, and help each other, regardless of who we are. Because living in friendship simply makes our lives better.
Like, no this character isn't using a pacifier or gripping onto a plushie or padded or wearing childing clothing, but they are hiding behind their most trusted person in the friend group, either a parental figure or close friend, when things feel too big and new.
They aren't crying out for mommy or daddy, or throwing a tantrum, but they're sobbing to themselves in the middle of the night, clutching their pillow like a person, because everything feels too big and too much
They aren't burying themselves in pacifiers, teethers, or plushies, but they're chewing on their shirt or hand when they get anxious and hugging their pillow to their chest like a lifeline
Of all the aroace moments Grace has, I think this one is my favorite
There are a lot of sillier ones, but this is the one that showed me just how much he valued the people in his life, and how he classifies different types of important relationships. He knows they were “a lot more than friends,” a phrase that almost universally refers to romantic relationships. As a reader, that was where I expected his mind to go next. In any other book, with any other character, that IS where it would go. But he never even considers the possibility that he was dating either of them. And by never bringing it up after using that specific phrase, Andy Weir is making a point.
These people were his CREW. He cared about them. He misses them. And that grief is IMPORTANT. There’s no reason to compare it to something else. That isn’t a factor here.
sometimes it's so very draining that the majority of aro content is about fictional relationships.
irl, i live alone. irl, i am disabled. irl, that intersection and my lack of interest in partnering actively makes life really hard. everything is expensive. i can't always cook when i want to or have fresh ingredients, because my symptoms don't care if I want to cut up vegetables and eat something homemade before they go bad. if I have a bad flareup and getting up is not in the cards, that's it. i have what's next to me. the lack of social support for single folks, for disabled folks, for folks whose family care is inadequate or damaging... it's impactful.
I talk about how i once visited a place with an ex partner. i mention how our relationship started because i was pressured into it, and i wasn't really into the level of seriousness and 'forever' she treated it with. everyone says it's weird that i agreed if i didn't want it to be serious. i remember being 16, saying no, and a chorus of people telling me i was stupid and immature, that her family was rich, that we would be cute and to listen to them, not my heart. my heart was saying nothing.
i look at my current age and life goals. for many of my peers, dating and marriage and eventual kids are common goals. i am watching my rights erode and trying to practice good mental hygeine. my five year goal is to be alive. my next major life milestone is a nebulous desire to find a life i can tolerate living.
being aromantic significantly impacts my day to day. i want to see aro people living their lives, and doing so with joy. i want to see aro adults making it, ones like me. i want aro people to thrive. i want to live, aromantically.
i scroll the aro tag. it's fandom and shipping and asexual posts.
QPRs are absolutely NOT accepted and very rarely understood nor are they taken seriously both on and offline. Whenever I’ve mentioned the term I’ve always had to brace for impact because I’ve had literally debates over whether or not they even EXISTED. Most people can’t even believe you can have intimacy outside of romantic interactions.
I’ve felt consistently inadequate because of internalized amatonormativity and overall lack of representation for QP love and intimacy and only had romance and sex to base my feelings off which made me deeply uncomfortable. It’s been deeply difficult to try and relate to other lesbians as an aroace lesbian because I feel like sometimes I’m in a completely different world. Really, it should be easier for me to know my boundaries but I don’t live in a vacuum. I’m still affected by all sorts of discrimination and oppression and have still a lot of ideas internalized about how I as a human being should behave intimately.
I sometimes feel like I’m intruding on aro conversations especially romance repulsed conversations because so many folks just treat it as “Romance-lite” and I never feel like I’m seen as truly aromantic (asexual) and also lesbian. I hate that people see my love as romantic, it really, really fucking hurts. And it hurts even more to feel like a fake or an intruder in the aro community for doing it. This may be the OCD talking but I feel like I have to hide a lot of myself because it either makes no sense to alloroses or it’s too intimate for aros.
And please don’t tell me I’m valid, treat me like I am instead.
taps microphone. not to be overly invested in the colorful horse show but. clears throat
for a show about friendship this fandom sure seems allergic to qprs!
the bone that I am picking, specifically, is fluttershy and discord. am I aware that they were likely intended to be a couple? yes, but there’s room to read it queerplatonically. is this partially because i saw aspects of my aromantic self in there before i even knew what aromanticism was? yes. shut up.
idk! i’m aware that writers likely shipped it. however something about the chaos beast and timid horsie only ever calling each other “best friends” while living together appealed to me and still does
plus like. the whole episode where discord tries to force himself to interact with her “normally” by conforming to the expectations of others and it almost straight up kills him? and fluttershy makes it clear that she doesn’t want something “normal,” she wants what they already have? idk! trying to force yourself to do the “normal thing” and it just destroys you until someone who Gets It says hey. we don’t have to do that. it’s okay. that feels pretty aro to me!
also the main “canon confirmations” that they’re a romantic couple come from other people. angel makes fun of flutters by saying she wants to marry discord. when discord expresses disgust for romance, spike teases him by saying “you don’t have tea with fluttershy every weekend because you like tea” to which he responds with a baffled “but I DO like tea??”
and the things that fans point to as concrete evidence that they’re a romantic couple. could also apply to qpps. “they live together!” ya ! “they take risks for each other!” and ? “they’re upset when the other is in danger!” well i would hope so !
of course this isn’t to say that they can’t be viewed as a couple. whatever floats your boat! I understand the appeal of big chaos noodle dragon and tiny anxious fruit-vampire hippie. I just wish there was more conversation/fan content featuring a qpr angle, because i have encountered a grand total of One post about it amid a torrent of shipping content. i feel similarly about some of the mane six pairings but it isn’t my place to complain when queer women need all the rep they can get and this is the incredibly rare fandom where most of the ships are wlw (let’s go lesbians!) so queering a seemingly het ship feels more within my wheelhouse
just a handy little info chart on the spectrums of sexuality.
/Edit: I forgot to give credit this is a screenshot from a video made by a content creator called Lily Orchard you should check her channel out it's amazing
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