Rainbow Room

30 He/him

[rainbow-femme]

I love confident smart competent Svetlana, but I do also need her to be a little bit pathetic and for a big part of her friendship with Ilya to be them lamenting how shit they are at relationships

Svetlana: RED ALERT

Svetlana: GENERATIONAL FUMBLE

Ilya: You asked about their favorite hockey team and then spent fifteen minutes roasting it didn’t you

Svetlana: I thought it was friendly banter and then he went to the bathroom and didn’t come back

Ilya: It’s not banter if you’re the only one talking and he’s sitting there silently weeping into his Bud Light

Svetlana: Remember when you told Jane how much you liked fucking me while trying to lock it down?

Ilya: 🖕😘

Svetlana: 🖕😘

[rainbow-femme]

Ilya: Holy shit holy shit holy shit I think we’re actually together. Together together. He wants to be with me he wants to spend his life with me he fucking LOVES me Sveta holy fucking shit I don’t know what to do or say holy shit

Svetlana: WHAT

Svetlana: Every detail. NOW

Ilya: He said he loves me! He made a whole ten year plan so we can be together holy shit I don’t think I’m breathing. I don’t think I’ve breathed since he said it holy shit

Svetlana: Oh my god I am so happy for you, I can’t believe it I’m going to cry in the club

Svetlana: How did this even happen? Did you ask him if he still wants it after Florida? Did he bring it up?

Ilya: …

Ilya: Don’t get mad.

Svetlana: How could I be mad at you right now?

Ilya: It may be because I said I would marry you for a green card.

Svetlana: …

Svetlana: BOY-

[rainbow-femme]

Ilya would make so many “my husband and the dog he didn’t want” posts

Shane explaining a hockey play on his laptop screen to an attentive looking Anya

Shane squatted down in a grocery aisle with three different dog food bags in front of him, comparing ingredients

Shane doing yoga and Anya imitating some of his poses, Shane reaching over and slightly correcting her posture

Shane up at 4 am to shovel a path for her in the snow to go out and pee

Shane and Yuna debating which of 10 different themed bandanas goes best on Anya for that particular day

Shane carrying bags inside and Anya is trotting after him with small ones in her mouth

Shane on the dock with a ball and hockey stick, he hits the ball with the stick and sends it flying into the lake and she takes off like a rocket and jumps in after it

Ilya filming POV style of himself walking over to the couch where Shane is laying with Anya on top of him. “Can I join?” “No room.” “You are breaking my heart, Hollander. Anya, may I join?” And she shakes her head and puts it more firmly on Shane’s chest

[aviantastic]

Tree Swallows by Linda H. Dulak - Audubon Photography Awards

[fluentisonus]

barn swallows depicted in the “spring fresco”, akrotiri, thera, greece. c. 16th century BC

[cryptidofthecove]

[fairycosmos]

yessssss shame your past self for surviving the only way you knew how to at the time 😍😍😍

[rainbow-femme]

The Centaurs decide to secretly compete to see who can make Ilya laugh the hardest as part of a social media campaign promoting the upcoming season

Most of them get at least a chuckle out of Ilya, some get a full laugh. Shane goes last and he just silently texts Ilya something then puts his phone down. Ilya checks his phone and starts laughing so hard he almost passes out, with Shane smiling smugly at the others who all went all out in their efforts to make their captain laugh

The video ends with a screenshot of what Shane sent Ilya and it’s a picture of Anya wearing sunglasses

For weeks Ilya will start laughing when he looks at his phone and sees the picture and it pisses the team off every time because Shane just silently grins every time

[cumdumpstiel]

so cool how advanced the algorithm has become, it literally only takes like a decade or more of spying on all my internet activity and then it can expertly curate a selection of 15-20 youtube videos that i don't really want to watch, and then keep showing me those videos over and over again for a week so i can scroll past them again. the future is now

[wyatthazy]

never doubt ilya knows how the staff likes to be treated after all these years

[clouds-of-wings]

"Watching my dad (a GP doctor) watch House is more entertaining than the show"

[zoi-no-miko]

GOD, I wish more doctors were more like this redditor's dad

[sighinastorm]

been ages since I saw a rage comic!

>thread is from 13 years ago

oh.

[ninjamouse13]

[funstyle]

teenage girls in fiction: hes so cute i wanna slow dance with him at prom :3 hehe

real teenage girls: imagine if he got injured and i had to tend to his wounds and i could watch him seize up a bit as i disinfect them and in the haze of fever he sees me as an angel

[funstyle]

shoutout to the person who tagged this "#geronimo stilton" for living their truth in a way most of us could never find the courage to

[rainbow-femme]

Who keeps putting this man in charge of Dunkin runs

[xxsugardecayxx]

free use gf but she wants to fuck more than you can even keep up w so it’s kind of like having a fleshlight that whines and drips and complains if you don’t use it 3x a day

[gimmiekiss1221]

[alicenthightcwer]

HOUSE OF THE DRAGON 3x02 Queen's Landing 3x08 The Treasons at Tumbleton

[rainbow-femme]

Everyone sees a post-retirement Shane meltdown coming a mile away unless they find something to fill the hockey shaped hole in his brain, and someone casually throws out Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and Shane figures well why not, can’t hurt to go to one class and see how it feels

He goes in and immediately, day one, gets his ass absolutely handed to him. Slammed to the ground, choked out, beat to shit, no rest no mercy the entire time and he LOVES it. Getting pushed and tested, needing to figure out strategy, fully working his muscles and getting thrown around. He comes home bruised and sore and can’t wait to go back

Ilya isn’t super sure at first about his husband getting recreationally beat up, especially after going to a practice early on and getting nauseous from watching people choking Shane and purposely putting him in so much pain he’s forced to tap out. The spouse of another person at the gym says to wait a few months before trying to watch again

But after a while he starts regularly hearing Shane laughing and Anya happy barking from other parts of the house, and walking in to find the two playfully wrestling around. Or when they watch the Pike kids they all want turns to get flipped around and wrestled by uncle Shane

And then of course one day Shane texts Ilya saying he wants Ilya to help him learn a triangle submission, and he adds a winky face and Ilya is just ??? Ok? I guess? But then he looks one up and well. That sure. Uh. That sure would be his husbands big strong sweaty thighs locked around his head and you know maybe he shouldn’t be too hasty to judge this hobby

Very soon Ilya is looking up moves for them to “practice” and he starts to see the appeal of his big strong husband being able to manhandle him and also anyone else. When he finally goes to watch another practice he sees Shane taking down guys six inches taller and fifty pounds heavier with ease and no actually so sorry they can’t go out to eat with everyone afterwards he needs to get his hot sweaty husband home immediately

The hockey world struggles to hide how pissed they are the first time Shane wins a tournament because of course he can’t retire normally and had to go and become the best at something else, specifically something that means he could beat the shit out of any of them if he wanted

[rainbow-femme]

Troy: “So you’re really ok with Shane practicing martial arts on you??”

Shanes recent search history:

Ilya: “What can I say, I am a very selfless husband.”

[sublimeobjectenthusiast]

no wait this is hilarious

[drawballa]

"I'd like to relax with you, for once"

[rainbow-femme]

Ok but headcanon that Shane is one of those people who will just write “Love, Shane” at the bottom of a card UNTIL he feels comfortable being vulnerable with that person, at which point he writes the most heartbreakingly sweet and earnest notes

And no one is ever ready for the switch, and even after it happens they can never fully prepare themselves for what they’re going to get. Shane has learned that when he’s going to do that he should take them aside to give them the card rather than in front of people

Once Shane feels comfortable with Hayden as a genuinely good friend in his birthday card that year he writes out a whole thing about how he’s always wanted a best friend like other kids had but never had one and had accepted he never would, and then Hayden came into his life and gave him a level of love and friendship he never thought he would get and he loves everything about Hayden and can’t wait to be by his side as friends and brothers for the rest of their lives. Hayden fully breaks down and loses it, Jackie notices they’ve been gone a while and walks into the kitchen to see Hayden hugging Shane and sobbing into his shoulder. She raises her eyebrows at Shane and Shane just gives her the OK sign and goes back to rubbing Hayden’s back

Ilya learns about the card thing when it’s yunas birthday and he notices her opening Shane’s card like she’s deactivating a bomb. She stares silently as she reads it and Ilya starts freaking out a little when she starts to tear up and then pulls Shane in for a long silent hug. He looks at it later and sees that Shane wrote about how the last year made him realize over again how lucky he is to have someone as strong and supportive as her as a mother and he hopes to one day be half the parent to his own kids as she was to him

When it’s their first time having Ilya’s birthday together he’s legitimately nervous because this is his first Shane Card and he doesn’t know what to expect and part of him is afraid he’s built it up too much in his head and Shane won’t have as nice things to say as he did with other people. And then he opens the envelope and there’s no card but instead multiple pieces of paper because Shane couldn’t fit it all into a limited space. Ilya spends the better part of the next hour walking around the house reading it, taking breaks occasionally to cry or hyperventilate before going back to reading it because holy shit does Shane Hollander love him. Like he knew logically that Shane did but now he’s got pages and pages of Shane walking him through his feelings over the last decade of their life and every moment he remembered and cherished. Shane finally catches up to him and he’s on the floor of the kitchen, face a splotchy red mess, chugging Gatorade because he’s dehydrated from crying

David texts later to ask how his first Shane Card was and he just sends a wall of crying emojis and David is like “LOL yup, the first Father’s Day he did that for me I had to take the week off work or else I would remember it and cry in my office”

[yenthecat]

HOLDING PAWS

[goth-queen]