20 ways the internet of things could kill you: a definitive guide
1. Your facial recognition-driven pillbox doles out a deadly dosage.
2. Someone remotely turns off your pacemaker. 3. Your Nest thermostat turns itself off in the dead of winter. 4. You are walking down the stairs to pee in the middle of the night. All of the Wink-connected lights suddenly turn off. You fall down two flights of stairs. 5. Your brave little toaster calls it quits and sets your house on fire. Your phone is dead and yoursmart lock won’t unlock. Very “Ghost in the Machine.” 6. Your car hums itself on and kicks into Ludicrous Mode. It drives itself into your living room, where you were watching TV. 7. Your (bugged out) smart water bottle tells you you’re only at 50% hydration. You keep drinking. You can’t seem to reach 100%. You die of hyponatremia. 8. You’re driving to work and your smart contact lenses start pulling up a slideshow of dog GIFs, proving that you can die from a cuteness overload (when it obfuscates your vision). You drive off the road dreaming of the driverless car you were too afraid to hop in. 9. You hailed an Uber using your Amazon Echo. Alexa tells you to get in the unmarked van outside. (Murderer.) 10. You just bought yourself a pair of spiffy new smart shoes! They were on sale — maybe because they had a faulty battery. They explode while you’re in ‘em. 11. Your friend just exploded in her new smart shoes, so you opt for GPS-enabled insoles. They lead you straight into a serial killer’s lair. 12. Someone slips poison into your drink and hacks your smart water cup. It says you are about to gulp down an eighth of today’s delicious serving of H2O. False. 13. A murderer hides in your shiny new Samsung smart fridge. He knows you’re lazy; rather than simply opening the refrigerator door, you’re going to look at live footage of the inside. He hacked it to show you an image of the yogurt, kale and leftovers he moved aside to squish his murderer ass in there. The rest are even worse. Though number 20 is probably the least plausible yet most entertaining way.
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