MOTHERF*CKER DON'T PLAY

RAINIER DE LA BETE. 22. PRINCE. I keep thinking about you, how you level me out sometimes when I'm out on my head, and I don't wanna face it. You said it's all for a reason. What the fuck is the reason now? Coming down, bring me back I'm the life of the party.

[rainierintherear]

Do you think you're actually half beast?

Whatever the answer is, I sure hope I am. 

[rainierintherear]

how did you and Jac get back together?

Let’s just say it did not involve champagne and a gorgeous view. 

[rainierintherear]

TEXT || CASTLE KIDS

Jac: Oh, I'm fine. Still in shock a bit, but ultimately so grateful that I mourned for nothing.

Jac: Yeah? I mean, I thought so too, so I'm glad you came around so fast. Why do you think that is?

Rainier: Yeah, I'd have to agree. As weird as the situation was it definitely turned out for the better.

Rainier: I liked Bonnie, don't get me wrong, but I don't know. There was a disconnect. We didn't /get/ each other.

[rainierintherear]

TEXT || CASTLE KIDS

Julie: I know!! In fairy and human form!

Rainier: Whatever though, you know? They did what's best for them and now I can...I don't know find a new hobby or something. Teach Mairi to do something.

[rainierintherear]

TEXT || CASTLE KIDS

Julie: And a known gold digger too! Like dude! What could've happened?

Rainier: Not to be full of myself, but I could literally crush Oberon in one hand. I would never, but I could.

[rainierintherear]

TEXT || CASTLE KIDS

Jac: I'm sure it had nothing to do with what you did at the ball. As a girl who has left you high and dry by leaving town myself, I assure you she'll regret it.

Rainier: Speaking of what happened at the ball, are you okay?

Rainier: Weirdly enough I kinda hope she doesn’t. I think our relationship would’ve ended one way or another at some point.

[rainierintherear]

TEXT || CASTLE KIDS

Julie: That? Is? So? Fucking? Funny? Like, I'm sorry for your loss. But BRO? WHAT?

Rainier: I know right? First girl I’ve dated in years and she passes up on castle for a 3 inch tall body. That’s gotta say something about me.

[rainierintherear]

TEXT || CASTLE KIDS

Jac: 😮😮😮

Jac: oh my God! I did NOT see that coming. As I'm sure you didn't either. I'm so sorry, Rainier. You seemed to really like her for some reason, I can imagine this is pretty difficult.

Rainier: You’re right, I definitely did not. I figured she’d be mad after I ditched her at the ball, but not mad enough to run away with someone else. I did like her, but you know...what can you do?

[rainierintherear]

TEXT || CASTLE KIDS

Rainier: So uh....awkward situation, BUT Bonnie has decided to run away with Oberon to Pixie Hollow because he is apparently her one true love. Happy for them, of course, albeit a little shocked. I'm fine, mostly just confused.

[rainierintherear]

Rainier, 

The year we spent together has been amazing. I've always wanted a prince, and you were the first one that ever showed me the time of day. And I thought that was all I could've ever wanted. But I was wrong. Believe me, you're incredible, but when you ditched me at the ball, I got to spend time with someone else. And that someone else showed me the most amazing  night of my life. For a while, I was confused -- I couldn't think of how anyone could possibly make me happier than the way you've made me feel. I didn't get how someone could check literally all of my boxes (even 'be able to lift me over his head like in Dirty Dancing', which is a box I thought would never get checked), and still not fulfill me completely.

I know we never like, talked about it or anything, but I was SO ready to be queen of your kingdom just for the clout and now that I've had a taste of what 'happily ever after' looks like, I think I'm finally realizing that it doesn't have to come with being royal. I don't want you to feel used or anything because you've been the sweetest guy to a girl who didn't deserve it. But I wasn't chasing you, I was chasing your status. Even though you are so hot and my vagina is so mad that you're not the one. But when you know, you know. And I know about Oberon. And....I don't know, maybe I'm wrong, but I think you know about someone else, too. 

I've attached a little something to remember me by. Yes, they're nudes. You're welcome. Thank you for taking a chance on a gold digger. I wish you the best. 

xoxo, 

Bonnie 💋 

[rainierintherear]

thanks for being such a nice and mellow roommate, i hope i'm not too bad myself, and that you have a lovely year in 2020. also i think we need to talk hair care while we still can, because i feel like there are things we could definitely teach each other in that department (not a dig at you i swear; actually quite the opposite).

SEND ME ANONYMOUS CONFESSIONS BEFORE 2019 IS OVER.

[rainierintherear]

This year has been pretty wild for us castle kids, but I'm very glad you've had someone to help you through it. Even though she's a notorious gold digger, I hope you and Bonnibel are happy. :)

SEND ME ANONYMOUS CONFESSIONS BEFORE 2019 IS OVER.

[rainierintherear]

You are the coolest dude in the whole WORLD and I hope someday when I'm a real grown up I'm am swole as you and can grow facial hair as epic, too!

SEND ME ANONYMOUS CONFESSIONS BEFORE 2019 IS OVER.

[rainierintherear]

Left on Sylvie’s doorstep with a note:

Sylvie! Like the bag said, I did my best! I figured you’d appreciate the pom pom on the hat the most out of anyone I know! Happy Christmas!

Rainier De la Bete

@sylviethorne

[rainierintherear]

TEXT || PRUNIER

Prudence: Absolutely, we can always have pizza for dinner!

Prudence: Good for you!! Take back your meal choices, fight the health food craze and just give into the carbs 😋

Rainier: Carbo loading is something I’m especially gifted at. The low carb diet truly isn’t for me. It’s fine for like a week, but I have to tap out at some point.

[rainierintherear]

TEXT || PRUNIER

Rainier: Can we just have pizza for dinner tonight?

Rainier: I feel like all I've had to eat this week are grilled chicken salads and I'm over it!!!

[rainierintherear]

jacpotts‌:

Wow. Twenty-something years on this earth and all you’ve learned about yourself is that you’re not a pun guy! Well, you and Bonnibel would be a lovely…Tarzan and Jane? Thor and Black Widow? Or maybe Aquaman and that red-haired woman from the movie? That film was utter garbage but you’ve got the hair for it, and something tells me she wouldn’t mind wearing skin-tight scales for a night. I’m, funnily enough, working on a costume with your sister and Mairi for the holiday, so if all else fails I’m sure you could join us.

What can I say? I’m always trying to know myself. Those are all good suggestions! I would make an excellent Thor, you’re right about that. But would it be like classic Norse Thor or Marvel Thor? Oh, really? What are you guys going to be?