On My Mind 8
Don’t you ever regret the people you ever met in your life? Like everyone? Looking back and realizing you don’t have any friends and you most likely will never do so? That you don’t have actual friends who does things together and then looking at everyone else and feeling incompetent? Hell, what about others seeing this and believing that they don’t want to be around you for this and more, because your lesser or that your not interesting or on your level? You ever looked at the girls you’ve liked and how you never had a single date or relationship with them and everything that goes wrong repeats themselves? You see everyone else getting what they want, but you feel like you can’t ravel in that because no one wants to be around you/with you? You ever wonder what you could change to not make the same mistakes or for them to like you; to make everything better/how it was? I wonder what it’s like to have these things honestly. I wonder what it’s like to have an actually group of friends where you can text and hangout on a constant basis, that will actually like you for who you are will always be there for you. I wonder what’s it like to actually to have a girl that’s your friend, that’s there for you and never leaves you, and I mean that as a friend or a love interest, because I’ve never really had one and if I did something happened where they aren’t anything to me anymore. As I grow older and begin to understand things and how certain people are around me, I realize I probably don’t know what real love is and probably never will. That I’ll never have the family I want, the wife, the kids, the togetherness, and that hurts, knowing that’s something I honestly crave for. I’m sick of it, but everything seems hopeless, especially since everything things keeps re-happening to me, only for the worse and not the better.
