Everyone is thinking they have great ideas for a blog. And what almost all those bloggers have in common is they think they are important enough for people to pay attention to. I am going to be the exception to this rule. If someone out there reads this and likes it, great - it is no big deal to me. In fact, In this first blog I would expect that most people will send me hate mail, tell me what a horrible person I am, get this, I don’t care about that either. All I care about is spreading the truth that God places on my heart. I’m tired of living where if we feel lead to share a thought or to pray or even harder, challenge the lukewarm beliefs of co-workers that it can cause us to be laid off or fired. So here are my bullet points:
* Although not 100% sure, I got laid off from the best job ever based on a lie. — I did not take the hush money. I stood on my principles.
* After much prayer, I believe I was laid off because I lived out my faith. I was never perfect, but when I felt lead, I would bring Jesus, or prayer into the matter.
* Here is where I will lose many, I voted for Trump and despite his inability to keep His mouth shut sometimes, I think he is doing a good job. (Expecting hate mail, but let me remind you a few words “He who is without sin cast the first stone.”) I don’t care about what Trump (or you reading this) may or may not have done in the past. We ALL will stand before God and be judged by what we have or have not done. I would rather worry about the log in my own eye before I worry about the speck in someone else’s. Hate never gets anything but more hate. Trump is our president so why not try a little love and see where that gets us. Being unfriended on FB because I hold a contrary view seems so petty and stupid. FYI - I did not unfriend any of my friends who loved and still do love Former President Obama.
* The stuff stated when I write will be straight from my heart. There are no shades of gray. It will be exactly how I feel in that moment.
It is my hope that I can create a blog either anonymously or under pseudo identity. I say this because i want to protect my family. Maybe someday, depending on how this all goes, I will be brave enough to come out from behind the words, but for now this is what you get. Some information is slightly altered to also protect my family.
I am married, I have two “adopted” kids. My husband and I did not receive word that we would get the kids till two weeks before we got married. The kids at the time were 9 and 11 and they are a biological brother and sister. Can you say I went from sheer excitement about getting married to being paralyzed with fear. The stats alone on marriages surviving “instant parenthood” are far worse than those who wait to have children. Talk about a God curveball! But like most things in life I jump in and as Dory would say “Just kept swimming.”
Fast-Forward six years...
I have now been married 6 years. I love my kids but they are at times more than I possibly can handle, especially my son who has grown to the towering height of 6’2 and he is only 15. My daughter is now a Senior in high school and she has no idea what she wants to do, has not taken The SAT’s and hasn’t even gotten her permit to drive. My son is angry all the time, he pretty much refuses to listen to me and ultimately he recently got physical with me and used his enormous strength to toss me to the side.
I HAVE FAILED MY KIDS. I keep thinking back, what could I have done differently? How could I have motivated them more, but I was always there, every game, every event I was able to make within my work schedule, I had awards on the wall, but yet they don’t care, nor do they think about the future. I believe part of the problem is TV shows like America’s Got Talent, The Voice, Little Big Shots, and I could name more. Those shows, show me what kind of child “I want” but not what kind of child “God gave me.”
We can’t look back, we can only look at now. Since the incident with my son, I am afraid of him, I walk on egg shells. Some think I should have had him arrested. Trust me, I gave it serious thought, but would that have changed anything? I would still have an angry, upset, teen. I sought medical advice. I can’t tell you how much the city I live in needs more mental health professionals. My son does not get his initial psych evaluation until almost September. However, his primary care physician has not left us out to dry and has started him on a medication to help him and guess what? It is helping. ALOT!
As for my daughter her life choices are endless. She is brilliant. She has one fatal flaw, she has no belief in herself. If it’s drawing she doesn’t think she is good enough (she is amazing and as a mom bragging she has never taken a drawing class). If it’s piano, she thinks she sucks — mind you she has only been playing 3 years and is one of the top students in her class. Or even sports. She is so naturally talented that if she practiced and dedicated herself to the craft she would have her college paid for. But her self-doubt dominates.
Sounds kind of hopeless? Not even close. God is a God who can do anything. For such a time as this. I believe I was laid off because both my husband and I were spending way too much time focused on our careers and not on our children to notice their pleas and cries for help.
If God can part a Red Sea, heal a leper, and raise Lazurus from the dead, He can and will work miracles in my children. It doesn’t start with my kids, it starts with ME. If any of this sounded familiar to you today, I urge you to get on your knees and ask God to forgive you and then ask God to fix you and then ask Him to refresh your hope because his supply of hope is endless!
Just take it all One Day was at a Time
#straighttalkfromtheheart #ramblings4thehopeless #prayerdoeswork #onedayandstepatatime
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