So You Want To Loan Your Wife. Part 1
So You Want To Loan Your Wife. Part 1
I get a lot of requests for advice from people who enjoy hotwife fantasies in bed, but don’t know how to take the next step. Many are unsure if they even want to take the next step, but they have no idea how to go from fantasy to reality. I’ve received so many of these questions that I’ve lost track. Literally hundreds. I wanted to compose a thoughtful answer rather than a few flip responses. This will probably end up being a series of posts. Consider this Part 1.
Look at it this way. When you and your wife first met, did you introduce yourself and then take her out to a parking lot and ass fuck her right there? I’m guessing not, or if you did you then you probably don’t need my advice on how to set up a threesome. But most people like to take it a little slower than that. Married guys seem to forget how to date, and the availability of online porn (including ours) exacerbates that issue. Most women aren’t going to jump from married monogamy to group sex in a night, no matter how hung the pizza guy is. But many husbands post unrealistically ambitious online ads looking for guys to fuck their wives. In turn, the wife is typically too uneasy about making such a huge leap and the proposed fuck date never materializes.
Another tried-and-not-so-true alternative is to go out for drinks and “see what happens,” maybe looking to chat someone up at a nightclub. We tried it ourselves, with limited success. I’m not saying it’s impossible, but navigating the singles crowd at a “vanilla” bar to find a guy looking for a couple is a lot more difficult than it sounds. If you go out for the night as a couple, it is challenging to strike up a flirtatious conversation with a single guy. Sure, the wife could always go out alone and find another man in short order. But that’s not what you want. Some guys think they’ll just sit across the bar and watch as another man seduces their wife. But that’s asking a lot of your wife, since she’ll be sitting alone at the bar, basically trying to get picked up. That’s nerve-wracking for her, which isn’t a sexy feeling. And if you’re trying to play as a couple, then that’s a minefield anyway. If a guy starts flirting with your wife and she tells him that her husband is across the room and watching, it may not unfold as you imagined in your fantasies.
The challenge is to find something in between. Basically, you and your wife need to “date” other guys. You need to set the expectation that you are a couple, that you want to hang out with another guy, and that you’re not looking for sex. Yep, that last part is key. This expectation will help your wife relax enough to test the waters.
When we decided to take our first step, we created an online ad looking for another guy who would be willing to meet us out for drinks. We basically guaranteed him that no sex would be involved, and that we were simply looking to meet another guy to hang out and share some laughs. Paraphrased, our first ad was something like this:
Married couple looking to hang out with a single man this Saturday. Drinks, flirting, chatting, maybe some playful touching. Lots of fun. There will likely not be any sex — just some flirting and teasing and fun. There’s always the possibility of more if we really hit it off, but we don’t want to commit to anything more than interesting conversation. We’re both attractive, reasonably intelligent, and deeply in love. She very much enjoys the company of other men, in front of her husband. He likes to watch her enjoy herself.
The way we looked at it, what’s the worst that could happen? If we didn’t hit it off with him then we’d just go to another bar and laugh it off together over some drinks. And if we had fun then we’d get a chance to take a cautious first step and it would generate some great pillow-talk material for us. We treated it like every other adventure we’ve taken together. If it sucked, at least we tried it and we’d have some good jokes about it later. We agreed to no expectations with each other, and that either of us could pull the plug on the evening whenever we wanted.
My wife really liked this approach because it allowed me to filter though the long list of — ahem — unsuitable responses to find a handful of guys that she might actually consider meeting. Nothing would turn my wife off faster than actually reading some of the insufferable crap you get when you post an ad online. She made the final choice from the handful of email responses that I showed her.
She also liked this approach because I was right next to her the whole time. She had a security blanket. She got to flirt with another man and enjoy his attention, but she also had the comfort of her husband at her side. This date was basically a pre-scripted version of the nightclub scenario. We just ensured that we’d be talking with a man who was likewise interested in meeting a couple. We had a few pre-planned signals if she or I wanted to end the date at any time. Other than that, we didn’t really over-think the evening.
If this is the first time you’ve ever done something like this, the adrenaline rush from simply watching your wife talk and laugh and flirt with another man is exhilarating. Watching him place his hand gently on the small of her back as he leans in to get his drink at the bar will be more than enough to infuse sexual energy into the evening.
We met him at a moderately crowded restaurant and bar. It was just loud enough not to be overheard, with enough patrons to be inconspicuous in the crowd. We had consciously seated ourselves on opposite sides of a booth. When he arrived he greeted us and sat down next to her. We shared drinks while we had some basic “first date” conversation. He was effusive, complimenting her appearance, her clothes, her face. Guys, this is ALWAYS the right approach. For most married women, physical compliments are a freaking aphrodisiac. In this context, on this date, it allowed her to accept his compliments freely, without the need to feign offense or affect some faux sense of embarrassment. We eventually talked about why we were all interested in this sort of “unique” date. We shared our thoughts, enjoying for the first time the ability to talk openly with someone else about our secret fantasy.
As we got to know each other a little, we all grew more comfortable. Soon his hand rested casually on my wife’s thigh, gently rubbing her leg through her jeans as we chatted. They we sitting close together, hips touching. She acted naturally, accepting his advances but not overtly acknowledging them, and never breaking her conversation with him or with me. When he eventually put his arm around her waist, she slid in closer, relaxing against him. They held hands nonchalantly as we traded stories and drank.
Whenever he left the table to get drinks or use the restroom, we checked in with each other (of course) and assured each other that we were both having a good time. Whenever my wife left to use the restroom, we engaged in mildly awkward guy talk. [Side Note: At least I thought it was awkward until the first time my wife jumped up from a hotel room bed to wash herself after another dude and I had just simultaneously jerked semen onto her face and we found ourselves spent, naked, and staring at each other. Now THAT is some awkward conversation.]
When I finally had to break the seal and leave them alone in the booth, I came back to find them chatting as I had left them. The second time, later in the night, I returned to see them making out. After that they kissed each time I left the booth, stopping whenever I returned. Decorum, I guess. Even in a lively bar it would look unusual if they made out while I sat across from them. And then someone might notice that the two wearing wedding rings were not the two making out. When we finally said goodnight for the evening, I excused myself first and left them one last time. They made out for a minute outside the restaurant while I started the car and watched from several yards away. When she got into the car we started chatting animatedly, gushing about how much fun we had and how we couldn’t believe what had just happened. When we finally got home we fucked each other like animals. I’m almost positive that neither of us said a single word from the time we walked in the door of our home. Just sweaty, hot, passionate fucking. Married fucking.
As much I tell my wife how very hot she is, there’s something about hearing it from another man. What I suspect many married women miss most about dating is the feeling of being pursued, of being desired. That first date rekindled that feeling for her. She craved the attention of being a hotwife. She became addicted to being lusted after. It’s not just the sex, it’s that feeling of being pursued, and pursuing, with the safety net of her husband’s unyielding support and love. Don’t get me wrong, she loves fucking other men and she’s a genuine slut in every sense of the word (we use that term in a good way). But being lusted after encouraged her to release her inner slut.
Oh yeah. Since I know you’re curious, she did ultimately fuck the guy we met on our date. I’ll cover that in Part 2.
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