Roses Life Updates

safe space for my thoughts and feelings

[randomthoughtsof-rose]

I chose to change the content of this blog to more than just a post break up blog.

Welcome to my new safe place.

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Why does it hit me so randomly?

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I feel so lost today

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When you feel like you have no one to talk to and you just go to sleep to forget about your thoughts.

I want to have a deep connection with somebody again. I miss talking to someone about my dumb feelings. My heart feels so heavy.

[randomthoughtsof-rose]

TW: Murder

You got thrown away like trash to the streets. We still don’t know how you died or who did this to you but today we had your funeral. I hope you didn’t suffer much.

Rest in Peace 🤲🏻

[randomthoughtsof-rose]

TW: Death

Today a tragic death occurred in my Family. My great uncle went missing on Wednesday and today his lifeless body was found.

We found out at a family gathering and with so many people around us I couldn’t cry, I couldn’t start to mourn.

Now I am laying in my bed and thinking about the times he gave me chocolate or bought me drinks. I am crying.

I am grateful that we have clarity about his disappearance now. But he didn’t deserve to die like that. No one deserves that.

He was a good man. We will always remember him as the funny and friendly uncle.

Rest in peace 🤲🏻 we will miss you

[randomthoughtsof-rose]

It’s been a few months after our break up and I am definitely in a better place now. You are and will always be one of my closest people and a safe place I can come back to. I am really thankful for that.

[randomthoughtsof-rose]

Hello, it’s been a few weeks.

I feel better, we are friends now and I thought I would be fine but I am not. Not right now. It’s kind of a rough night because I saw that you’re back to following the girl you loved in the past. Does that mean something?

You are going on dates. Congrats I think.

You’re happy as it seems, going out a lot more, meeting new people. I am happy for you but why does it hurt so much?

I cannot talk to you right now. We are just friends but I still am heartbroken.

I have to deal with this myself.

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We are good as friends, that’s what we should be.

Nothing more, nothing less.

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It would have been 2,5 years today

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We will take our times together and grow as friends.

This is who we are and we will always be in each others heart.

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I always knew we weren’t normal

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Hello you,

I am feeling sick and my throat hurts a lot. I cannot swallow anything and I miss you holding me while I am in pain.

I miss the days you made me tea or just held me close to you. You healed me.

My safe place.

But now I suffer alone in my bed and try not to cry about this situation. I don’t have my safe place anymore. I don’t have you anymore.

I miss you.

I hope it is easier for you.

[randomthoughtsof-rose]

A little update on that, i am getting sicker and have to visit the doctors tomorrow :)

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I don’t know what to feel right now.

You told our friends that you would be fine with having contact again, as friends of course.

But how fast did you forget about us? How fast did your feelings end for me? How was did you recover from loosing me?

It feels like a punch in my heart, to hear that you are moving on and ready to be friends again.

I feel better, but I am definitely not ready for this.

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I’m building my walls again and I’m not proud of it.

Everything seems so trivial.

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Today is not a good day

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I saw your post.

I hope you have fun at your friends party.

Take care of yourself.