RangerKanoodles

Just another fan of RA! Be a Ranger and ask questions!

[rangerkanoodles]

Crowley: Are you out of your mind?!

Halt: Since when is that relevant?

[rangerkanoodles]

Halt: We're an odd bunch, Crowley.

Abelard: You are odd, Halt.

[rangerkanoodles]

This guy must be the leader of the entire riot. And he’s pretty smart. That’s probably bad for my life expectancy.

-- Will, about Halt

[rangerkanoodles]

[During a game show]

George: And so, to our first contender. Good evening, your name please?

Will: Uh, good evening.

George: In the first heat your chosen subject was "answering questions before they were asked." This time, you have chosen to "answer the question before last, each time." Is that correct?

Will: Will Treaty.

George: And your time starts...Now! What is paleontology?

Will: Yes, absolutely correct.

George: What's the name of the directory which lists members of the royal family?

Will: A study of old fossils.

George: Correct. Who are Crowley Meratyn and Sir Horace Altman?

Will: Burkes.

George: Correct. What is the difference between a donkey and an ass?

Will: One's a retired Ranger and the other's a member of the royal family.

George: Correct. Complete the quotation "To Be or Not To Be."

Will: They're both the same.

George: Correct. What is Halt O'Carrick famous for?

Will: That is the question.

George: Correct. Who is the present Oberjarl of Skandia?

Will: He's a small man who tells bad jokes.

George: Correct. What do people kneel on in church?

Will: Erak Starfollower.

George: Correct. What do tarantulas prey on?

Will: Hassocks.

George: Correct. What would you use a rip cord to pull open?

Will: Large flies.

George: Correct. What sort of person lives in Redmondt?

Will: A parachute.

George: Correct. What is a jockstrap?

Will: A nutcase.

[Runs out of time]

[rangerkanoodles]

Halt: I'm sick and tired of being called "mortal", you don't know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It's rude.

[rangerkanoodles]

More Courier News

It all happened during a farewell ceremony for a retiring Ranger. Bows were raised, arrows nocked, pointed at the sky. A farewell to arms. It was the first and last time the bow salute will ever be used.

The ceremony is best summarized as follows:

21 Rangers killed in 21 bow salute

[rangerkanoodles]

Will: Don't worry, Horace. I'll be behind you every step of the way.

Will: Waaay behind.

[rangerkanoodles]

Jenny: Can I take your order?

Gilan: No. I think I'll keep it.

[rangerkanoodles]

Halt: Sometimes, my wife gets mad at me for behaving wrong in her dreams.

[rangerkanoodles]

"Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn't even listening."

-- Will Treaty

[rangerkanoodles]

Crowley: Hi. How are you?

Halt: At minding my own business? Better than most people.

[rangerkanoodles]

Halt: [grumbles]

Halt: That's the sound of my soul dying.

Crowley: The Ranger Corps appreciates your metaphysical sacrifices.

[rangerkanoodles]

Horace: Woah, Halt you’ve been mean to everyone today! You need to check your attitude!

Halt: I'll check my attitude after you check your IQ.

[rangerkanoodles]

Morgarath: You'll pay for that!

Halt: Put it on my tab.

[rangerkanoodles]

Halt: Who are you?

Crowley: I'm you. But happier.

[rangerkanoodles]

Things Alyss deserved:

1) Not THAT

[rangerkanoodles]

Halt: Abelard, can you pick me up? I’m at a party and there’s someone funnier than me.

Abelard: No surprise there.