Menjejakkan kaki di dekade yang baru, saya pikir saya akan terbebas dari gempuran pikiran-pikiran tidak produktif yang seringkali berkisar tentang "seberapa jauh saya sudah berjalan relatif terhadap orang lain". Betapa kagetnya saya ketika pikiran-pikiran ini datang menghampiri dengan wajah dan pesona baru. Jika dulu, yang dibahas adalah tentang persona, tentang pencapaian dan tentang hal-hal pribadi lainnya; dewasa ini, pikiran tersebut merambah ke arah yang tidak disangka-sangka: "Apakah keluarga saya sudah cukup bahagia, menurut standar pada umumnya?"
Padahal, apa sih arti bahagia? Apakah bahagia harus selalu didominasi dengan relasi yang (terlihat) selalu harmonis, tanpa cacat? Apakah bahagia itu berarti ketiadaan kemampuan untuk merasakan sakit dan kecewa saat jatuh? Apakah bahagia mengharuskan seseorang untuk selalu dalam kondisi euforia, setiap saat? Tentu tidak, dan saya pun tahu jawabannya tidak.
Jika begitu, mengapa pikiran-pikiran seperti ini selalu berhasil menyergap di saat yang tidak disangka-sangka? Padahal saya tahu jelas secara logika, semua ini tidak masuk akal?
Suatu ketika, saya sampai harus membatasi paparan konten media sosial dari salah seorang teman. Bukan karena masalah tertentu (kami masih berteman baik) tapi karena narasi yang ia sajikan terlalu banyak mengingatkan saya pada hal-hal yang saya impikan, tapi tidak berada dalam ruang kuasa saya. Apakah ini pertanda dari lemahnya pertahanan mental? Mungkin ya, mungkin juga tidak.
Pada akhirnya, saya memilih untuk kembali menggunakan jurus jitu: kembalikan pada rasa syukur dan berdamai dengan diri yang masih berusaha untuk mempunyai pertahanan mental yang lebih baik.
Autumn in Wassenaar, I was preparing the table for our regular dormitory dinner with the thirty of us - our ibu Asrama was very particular about having her plates wiped clean - when all of the sudden a man came up to the dining room, introducing himself. To be honest, I forgot the name. All I remember is that he's a middle-aged man, saying that he was a renowned reporter with a long list of experience covering the media reports from areas of conflict (including Afghanistan and Syria, at that time). He went on talking about himself - which, I don't blame, because this man must have endured a lot of pressure and suffering through experiences in high risk countries as such; how he had come to a point where he felt like having a brush with death, how his whole life flashed in front of his eyes. Truly, remarkable. The man is no ordinary Indonesian guy, I thought.
ā¦or so I thought. The conversation turns south when all of the sudden he was asking me about my background. As a regular 18 year-old girl, I responded to the question with my usual response, how I dream of making the world slightly a better place; even if it means starting from my own surrounding. How I dream of pursuing education until at least a Master's degree, since I really want to make my parents proud. How I was able to stay in the Netherlands because my parents worked hard, even though they did not come from a wealthy background - and therefore I strive to do the best I can, to be the best version of myself in the future by having a good career, as a token of appreciation to my parents. To me, it was a perfectly normal answer.
To him, though, it maybe came as slightly an offense; not to him as a person, but maybe to the version of reality that he held in his mind. He paused for a few seconds, sighed for a bit and said, with heavy voice as if he needed to get the message across to my full-of-utopia-head. I will use Indonesian this time because it's critical to get the essence of the message.
"Perempuan itu,Ā
harus tahu kodratnya"
I was stunned.
I didn't know what to answer.
Really?
I came all the way to the Netherlands, leaving behind my hometown and lovely high school friends, struggled with the culture and everything - only to be dismissed by some random Indonesian guy?
Not having the poise and courage to speak my mind at that time, I just shrugged, smiled a bit (I guess it was to nullify my boiling anger inside?) and saidĀ
"Oh begitu, gimana tuh maksudnya Pak?"Ā
Perfectly feeding into his ego by placing myself as a clueless 18 year old girl with no opinion. Great job Rasyida.
He went on explaining that no matter how high an education women have, how great their career are, their place will be (I'm really sorry to write this here but this is what he said, I still remember the scene perfectly) in the kitchen, or in bed.
I was stunned, again.
Not because of surprise but because of how inconceivable his statement is.
How dare he talked to me like that? I can hear the voice in my head yelling.
At that point I decided that there is no point arguing with someone like that. Misogyny is something learned and internalized through years and years of indoctrination - not necessarily by an external party, probably through self-reinforcing belief. I would not be able to change his mind no matter what I say. Especially being a 18 year old minority girl wiping plates clean in a dormitory in a Netherlands' small town.
After keeping my internal voice in check, I just held a deep breath and said
"Terima kasih pak, saya sekarang jadi tahu kodrat saya"Ā
and left him there with the perfectly-arranged table I set up for that night's dinner. He was there the whole night.
Fast forward to 11 years later.
I have finally received my Master's degree, alhamdulillah.
It's official:
M.Sc in Business Analytics from University College London, with Distinction.
Adding to my B.Sc in Industrial Engineering from University of Groningen, with Honours.
Ingat lima perkara,
sebelum lima perkara
Sehat sebelum sakit,
muda sebelum tua,
kaya sebelum miskin,
lapang sebelum sempit,
Hidup sebelum mati
Di momen tahun baru 2023 ini, saya teringat dengan satu lagu yang dipopulerkan oleh grup nasyid "Raihan" di awal tahun 2000an. Lagu ini mengutip hadist Rasulullah SAW yang diriwayatkan oleh Ibnu Abbas, tentang lima perkara yang manusia sering lalai terhadapnya - semua, berkaitan dengan waktu.
Di tengah gegap gempita tahun baru, saya merasa kecil. Kecil karena, saat ini, lima keleluasaan yang Allah berikan, alhamdulillah masih saya alami: sehat, muda, hidup berkecukupan, lapang, dan hidup. Tapi nyatanya, apakah saya merasa sudah menghasilkan sesuatu yang bermanfaat? Apakah ada orang-orang yang menjadi lebih baik hidupnya dengan hadirnya saya di dunia ini? Apakah semua kewajiban telah dilaksanakan dan semua hak orang lain dan lingkungan telah dipenuhi? Pertanyaan-pertanyaan ini, tentu saja, malu untuk saya jawab, karena jawaban untuk semuanya adalah tidak.
Maka, di awal tahun yang baru ini, saya mencoba merubah perspektif dari sebuah resolusi tahun baru. Kalau hidup ini adalah sebuah fungsi matematika, kriteria optimisasinya sudah bukan lagi "memaksimalkan pencapaian" tetapi "memaksimalkan pemberian". Karena sejatinya, jika seseorang hidup untuk memberi, saya percaya bahwa usaha-usaha yang dilakukan juga akan membawa pada perbaikan diri.
Semangat untuk kita semua yang sedang berlomba dalam kebaikan, dalam lininya masing-masing. Semoga Allah bersama kita :)
Throughout my life (perhaps since I was able to write a structured, meaningful sentence - maybe since I was 9 years old) - I have been documenting my feelings, ideas or sketched in my journals (plural because I always have multiple journals at all times, for different purposes). Come to think of it, here are several ways on how journaling practice had helped me get my life together:
1. Idea Synthesis
In my daily life, I always have short bursts of ideas coming to my mind. They come with a speed of lightning (so to say, because they go so fast sometimes I canāt remember what the idea was), often with a spark of motivation, and seed to other ideas. More often than not, these ideas disappear as fast as it come. Journaling helped me to capture ideas in its very essence. Often times including the sense and motivation it brings with. Freeze it on paper so I can have a direct access to it for laterĀ āharnessingā. Whether for creative processes or association technique, you name it. It works like a camera to me, capturing all the details and even the background of why I thought in a certain way.
2. Sharpening Process
Still on ideas. Itās not rare that thoughts come to you in a (very) blurry way. You want to combine and manipulate concepts, but your mind is too crowded for it to be manifested. Well then, hereās where journaling come into play: It helps you elaborate all the fog, and find a clearer picture. It does not matter if it takes a while to write, all that matters is you get a clear picture of what you want to think about. One way to make obvious of what we want to convey is through visualization - whether itās through drawing, mind-map, table, anything - the key ideas will present itself to you.
3. Catharsis
Of course, my favorite function of all. Raging! Our lives are not full of strawberries and cream; often times it has the same sensation of having bad luck continuously. Rather than letting it ruin our mind, we can just sit and have a conversation with ourselves. Journaling, for me, is one of the best ways to let go everything burdening me. Itās free, you can write with no constraints. Even better, you can also symbolize that you are ready to move on with your life after writing all your heart out, by tossing the piece of paper into the trash. Sometimes feelings just need to be channeled out, in order not to consume your mind. For me, itās an effective way to get myself back on track whenever I get side-tracked.
Well, but thatās journaling for me, see if it works for you too! :)
If you are struggling to imagine yourself in a completely different setting (and life choices, to be exact), try this approach.
Have you ever watched the Loki series from Marvel Studios? If you are a time-travel movie enthusiast like me, and you haven't watch it. Please just watch the series, it's so good! - and yes, spoiler alert!
So basically in this series, we are introduced with the concept that time does not flow linearly; in fact, it flows in a circle. There is no beginning and no end, just the time itself, circling in eternity. Before going too deep into the philosophical question of "if time is a circle, when you go backwards and forwards in time, wouldn't that be already predicted too?", the series basically established that there are many universes that each one of us can coexist simultaneously, but in different dimensions. These so called "other me's" are termed as 'variant' in this series.
It's actually pretty interesting, seeing how different Loki's could have turned out into a completely different being, depending on which universe he's placed at (or rather, on which conditions he's placed at). This series show that there is no such thing as an inherent, unchangeable identity - everyone always have choices in their lives that can turn their characters and life choices into someone and something completely different.
So, what?Ā
I guess we can also apply the same principle in our lives by doing this small mind experiment!
Let's say you are stuck in a situation where you cannot imagine yourself doing another career, doing something different, or maybe you want to do something that you have always dreamed of since you are a child, but too afraid to lose the 'stability' that you have built over the years. Well, if you cannot imagine yourself being in that position, try to imagine that there are many other variants of you in this spread of time. If those variants are not constrained with whatever constraining you at the moment, what would they do? If something holds you back even from thinking about what your variants will be doing - remember, they are fictional entity, it won't harm just to imagine! But remember, your variant is born exactly in the same condition as you are - so no, imagining that they are born into a billionare family is not an option unfortunately. But hey, you can imagine if this variant of yours, for example, took a completely different major at uni, tried different types of jobs before landing a permanent one. The other variant might started a new home business, and just doing fine with that. The options are endless!
Odd enough, this mind experiment helped me when I was too afraid of taking risks (that is, pursuing a Master degree in a completely different field, with zero experience of coding, risking my career move in the previous company). Sometimes, we are too afraid to take risks because we imagine the consequence as a known fact - as if they happened already - and our minds are just too good at it. By imagining myself in others' shoes (but in essence, those are still a projection of myself), I liberate my mind from the burden of consequence of my decision.
See, this is why I love fiction. It helps me reframe my thinking around almost anything, when applied properly :)
Itās funny thing, feelings. If you let it bottled up, it will never explode, it will just be accumulated into a giant, concentrated, mass of feelings. Oddly, like in theoretical physics, the more you accumulate a mass, the larger the gravity is. It pulls you towards a certain directions; ones that your never realize you needed before. You thought you can keep accumulating, to the point where there is nothingness left. But no, the longer you accumulate, you will gravitate towards this unexplainable state. Suddenly, you just want to float in between - denying the gravity.
-
I guess there is a certain something about this place, that makes me gravitate towards it. I can see the landscape of London spreading out in the distance. Birds are chirping and playing nearby. The heavy, occasional wind, characterizes this very spot on top of the hill. The moment I sit on the bench facing the pond and gazing at the view, I know I can trust this place; it feels safe to be vulnerable - to be who I am. Maybe it is the feeling of connectedness with people in the past - countless other souls who have sat on the same place and felt the same thing - pouring their sorrow through their gaze. Or maybe those who just sat there only to realize their state of being - that they existed.
-
I thank Allah for this amazing opportunity - He mends my broken, skeptic heart through ways that no other being can do. It is through His creation, He shows me His love.
I rarely talked about this but my UK journey has been such a roller coaster journey - in the sense that I have never faced this kind of multiple, back-to-back emotional (and physical) challenge in the course of a year :)
I mean yes of course it seems that my life is just full of colors and all the fun stuff; but hey, you never know whatās on the backstage of this show called life.
While the level of stress is nothing sort of comparable with the one back in 2017-2018 (when I literally had wished to just exist without having to feel anything), this one, I must say, is worth to mention.
Covid-alumni with records of two-times infections within four months, a series of panic attack episodes in the course of one week which led me to visit ER three times in a row - at some point I really thought I had a heart-attack (which was not true), multiple financial-related incidences such as fraud, wrongly charged for a purchase, airport-related charging, and then the ultimate: my laptop decided to stop functioning for a whole week, then I had to pay for its repair at 25% of the laptopās worth :) Oh and of course I have to mention; dealing with people. People are just so diverse I sometimes wonder; is it really necessary to get along with everyone? Or is it acceptable just to coexist in peace? Would it be so wrong to just avoid conflict without having too much effort into being a friendly person to everyone? Well, not to mention the very challenging degree program that Iām still struggling on; but that bit is less of a pain and more of a challenge that I would like to overcome.
So after all that, I was trying to find out the meaning behind all these. Maybe Allah shows His love through multiple challenges and obstacles presented to His servants. Maybe Allah loves us so much that He wanted us to come back to Him in any situation. Maybe Allah wants us to improve our imaan such that He had to test us in different ways.
All I know is that Allah never leaves us; we just simply need to ask.
Had an impromptu conversation with a dear friend. She asked, "what's your definition of home?"
I struggled to answer. Yes I know there's this saying that 'Home is not a place, Home is where your loved ones are'.
Well, yes and no.Ā
Being a pragmatic person that I am, I immediately thought, yes but humans will perish, right? Even so, change is the only thing that defines human. What if a person that you love the most, hurt you? What if a person you love becomes someone that you don't recognize anymore? What if, for whatever reason, you are not able to even be with those people anymore? Would you not have home at all? I have all these thoughts while I'm perfectly aware that it is not losing people that I fear; it's the feeling of attachment.
What if, my definition of home is myself? The current state of being that I'm in? My mind, my consciousness? But then again, to what extent can you trust yourself to be your own refuge? How many times in your life that you fail yourself by not having enough trust on yourself, by undermining oneself, by treating oneself harshly. If one is so surely unreliable, how could you depend on it to be your own home?
It turns out, the answer has always been there all along.
Would you not be content if your definition of home is something that is ever-living, ever-loving, closer to you than your own heartbeat, understands you even when you don't understand yourself? Would you not be at ease knowing that all your future has been taken care of? Would you not be happy knowing that all your loved ones are also taken care of?
I hope we can all be someone who can be atĀ āhomeā wherever we are :)
Someone said that sheās gonna start writing again on a public platform at the beginning of her semester. Guess what? 9 months have passed and most of my writings are still securely kept in my archives :)
There are so many things that I want to talk about, especially everything related to London. A city that I once despised, due to my false interpretation of what the city actually is; now has become one of my favorites of all time.
Back then when I thought about living in London, my minds filled up with images of concrete jungle, packed tube stations, pollutions, monarchs (which, in fact I donāt necessarily have interest in), buzzing city life with its people. In fact, I failed to realize and notice that: London is home to at least 50 large green parks that I adore so much; London is so diverse you can practically find any food from any country of the world; London does not smell like marijuana (referring to another capital city starting with anĀ āAā); British people in London are so polite and nice to the point that I donāt feel like Iām a second-class citizen; London is so big - I can practically spend a year only in London and still has not gone through all of its charms yet; London has soo many events I couldnāt even keep up; London is full of historical buildings and artefacts...and many more.
Well hope there will be upcoming releases to talk about these :)
"Sometimes it can feel like you're not doing anything,Ā
because you're no longer doing everything.ā
-Ā Yasmine Cheyenne
This year is the first time in forever that I am not involved in any kind of extracurricular activity along with my primary role. Every year was always a rush, a full-speed hustle on a daily basis, not to mention the primary role that demands me all of my strength. Last year was particularly draining; juggling three different responsibilities on top of work and a new status as a wife.
So this year I decided to breathe. Learning how to enjoy spaces in between. To not be dictated by schedules. I must say it does not necessarily come without struggles. Sometimes I do feel like being left behind when I am not on-board with the hustle culture - an idea that is questionable in the first place. Why should someone feel guilty, for taking a break?
I guess, it is embedded in how our society operates these days. Performance and achievement is often measured through a vague concept such as doing multiple things at once, being agile and adept in so many domains, being a person who excels at work, juggling many other responsibilities, having an amazing social life and I must say, being active and "respected" in social media. If you think about it, doesn't it contradict with the essence of life itself? Does sacrificing your own sanity for the "greater good" of achieving marvelous things lead to a better life? We (myself included) are so often drowned in this messages of productivity, we often forgot what life is all about.
So I am writing a note to myself and perhaps to anybody who reads this. There is nothing wrong with taking a break, there is certainly nothing wrong to prioritize one aspect of your life over the other if you think that's worthwhile. Be mindful about what the society expects you to do and what actually matter for you. Be unapologetic for who you are and what your choices are, while simultaneously be compassionate to others.
It's intriguing how someone can readily make an assumption about yourself, even with the smallest hints possible.
I was in my quarantine hotel as part of the UK immigration procedure, when I met these new people during the exercise break. As any other normal people, we introduce ourselves and try to get to know each other. We talked about where we studied, where we worked and what we do for a living (funny how basic conversations always lead up to where you gain your capital from). Of course when the question about place of study come up, people was always fascinated to hear that I studied abroad since bachelor degree.
"Oh so you already stayed in Europe since your bachelor degree?"
"Yes"
"Which scholarship did you get?"
"Ah, no I luckily had my parents paid for me"
"Oh...okay"
Then there is an abrupt change in tone as if the conversation is not interesting anymore. That I am just another spoiled brat who got everything she needs on a silver platter, so it might be best not to be friends with someone so spoiled. Little did they know that my parents gave up most of their savings for their daughter's education, and I made a promise to pay it back. Not financially, but figuratively speaking.
Then I go on telling a story about how I tried to make ends meet by doing various side jobs, including giving piano lessons for children. I don't know why I said this but perhaps I feel the need to clarify myself.
"Yes, I usually teach piano lessons to children in my free time. But I am not a professional piano teacher though. No license, just trying to utilize what I can do to get some side income."
"Oh, so you teach Do Re Mi kind of stuff?"
I never think of myself teaching children piano lessons as "Do Re Mi" since I find it degrading and diminishing my own interest in piano. Besides, that's not the point. However at the same time it felt too much trouble for me to explain what it really was, so I just let it pass.
"Ah, yes, you might say so", I said casually.
Then there she goes with another topic. Again, an abrupt change of tone from being interested to a "fairly ok" label on my forehead. As if your first meeting with other people is your only chance to hand out free labels.
Strange, I felt this kind of feeling before. A feeling that you are given a chance to prove yourself but once you fail to reach the threshold, you're immediately out. This happens in something as superficial as a casual conversation in a hotel rooftop.
I genuinely don't think it's wrong for people to give labels on the first encounter with other human being. After all, it's a basic mode of survival. You have to know who to trust and not, who can be of great help when in need and who's not. It also simplifies our way of thinking, our brain likes simple things. The easier it is to get into conclusion, the more favorable it is for our brain to choose that option. But I also must say that not every label have pleasant implications.
On the contrary it's also possible that these labels are just my perceived, imaginary concept that only occur in my mind. Maybe people never really give these labels at all. Maybe it was just my coping mechanism to put accountability on other people when in fact it was myself that I need to deal with. Maybe.
Hi! Back again on this platform, with the occasion of my brand new experience of studying in the UK. I could not figure which platform is more suitable for this kind of not-very-articulate-yet-somehow-quite-long text, so back to Tumblr, I guess!
At first, I thought moving in to London would be more or less the same as the Netherlands and Belgium back then; in terms of moving-in experience, social dynamics and food. Turned out I was wrong! So here are several things that made me reconsider my first assumptions of being in the UK (please note that my previous assumption was based on my bachelor study in the Netherlands and my partial residence in Belgium).
First, being a Muslim in the UK is far easier than in the Netherlands or in Belgium. In London especially, there are far more halal restaurants and butcher. Mosques and prayer rooms are to be found in nearly every district. It is also more common for people to pray in the park, if you cannot find any suitable place - because itās normal. Back then I always needed to go toĀ āhideā in fitting rooms pretending to try clothes on, in order to pray on time if Iām traveling. Also, I felt like because Islam is more prevalent here, I felt less of being an outcast. It is like I am not an exception of the society.
Second, although the news outlet is highly-controlled by government (re: BBC), I am surprised that energy supply is actually managed by numerous companies. I expected that due to the strong hold of the government, such crucial sector would be highly regulated and owned by the government as well. I realized this when trying to arrange the utilities at my new accommodation - so many companies to choose from! Water, gas, electricity, internet provider, you name it. Unlike the Netherlands which energy resource management is basically centralized and controlled by government, the UK offers more options of utility provider - and thus competing prices. At least itās good news for us, students.
Third, welcoming event for new students. Now for this one I donāt know if itās a bias between a modest, quiet city such as Groningen (despite the amount of parties that the welcoming committee threw every year for this purpose) and a grand city such as London; or just me being oblivious of what was happening during the welcoming event all the past four years of my study (including Rotterdam). However I must say, the count of events thrown during the welcoming week in here is...crazy! To put it simply, they create a two-weeks event, in which everything is happening in every part of the city. From regular fair, cultural food tasting, jazz stand-up, city tour, tour for comic-enthusiasts, sports club trial events, international students speed-ādatingā (this means conversational event to get acquainted with people, not dating per se), volunteering activities, even k-pop club. Plus, everything can be pre-booked one click away using my university application. That was just intense, I am not sure I can keep up with the lively atmosphere of this city! But guess what, I will just let it roll - as usual :)
While there are many definitions of materialistic attributes, there is somewhat a 'consensus' on how one could indicate someone as being materialistic. The problem is, to what extent could someone be judged as 'materialistic'? Is there any clear-cut explanation on how to differentiate the attributes? I do think that there's a grey area - it all depends on what our interests are. Funny thing is, in an increasingly materialistic society, this attribute is more and more required in order to 'survive' in the jungle of life-surviving. For millennials that just recently touches the young-adult phase, rocketing prices of properties, vehicles, even education loans have forced them to be more and more 'productive' in earning money. This means, the attitude to regard 'money as a prerequisite of any happy life' has become more and more internalized into our society, which leads to a recurring thinking process embedded in our everyday life, leaving no room - or at least not much - for an idealized, out-of-the-box thinking.
Clearly, I am not in position to judge which is wrong or right - as if there's any justifiable explanation on either argument. (However, I do have a stake in this case, at least for something important in my life.) I am just wondering, whether working long hours (we are talking about an 8 am to 12 am shift here) is really something that millennials have to do in order to acquire a decent life. It's as if that's the norm and everyone needs to adhere to that'. Interestingly, the long working hours would be as much as valuable with the shorter counterparts, if the person enjoys it and gains value for anything they do.
Simply put, earning money should not be your goal of pursuing a career. Sure, you are working because you need a financial security - to be able to live a happy life, being able to afford any activity you desire. I think it would be wise to pursue a 'meaning' instead of 'material possession' in pursuing your career. Don't see the salary slip at the beginning of the month as a reward; see it as something that enables you to sustain your needs and facilitate you to accomplish your real goal. Remind yourself; money is a tool, not your end-goal. By emphasizing your core values in achieving your objectives, you'll find yourself appreciating every step you take towards that goal, and hence, increments of happiness every time you do something.
You have delicate, sensitive perceptions; you can be deeply moved by appearances ā the right light in a room, or good food, or the texture of a piece of clothing. Expressive, intelligent language has a powerful hold on you; your mind works better when it is inspired and provoked by vivid imagery. It can be sad to live in a world which is often so ugly and not properly looked after. But you know that things can be otherwise, and you have the ability to appreciate the world at its best.
Never have I encountered a description as precise as above regarding sensitivity. Highly relatable. (The paragraph is taken from a test result from thebookoflife.org)
"How can you be confident without being egotistical?" A question I stumbled upon in the morning while eating my lovely bowl of oatmeal and speculoos.Ā
I guess, it is quite ridiculous to not admit that everybody has his/her own egotistical side while every single being needs to possess that kind of attitude in order to survive. Interestingly enough in the era of communication and technology nowadays, this issue becomes increasingly exhibited by people. It is all about me, myself and I. How successful I am, how pretty I am, how many likes that I got from my picture and status, etc. The funny thing is, these habits work contradictarily with the notion of happiness and contentment. What we think will give us more contentment, can actually make us strive for more. The fact is, we will never have enough attention, we can never be the best in everything.Ā
On the other hand, in this era of competition, everyone has to be confident in order to excel in the areas that they focus on. Without confidence, we will be defeated by those who saw better chances, work harder and strive for more. So, how can we find a balance? How can we ensure that we are confident enough to be ourselves, without crossing the limit?Ā
I believe, the key lies in two things; gratefulness and being happy for the others. You see, being grateful is a wonderful activity. At that moment, you accept what you already have by feeling blessed that you can actually get it. At the same time, you are feeling an enormous amount of love and peace from God. Because you know, no matter what you do, it is always Allah who gave you everything, and we cannot do anything without our Rabb's help. By being grateful, no matter how "successful" you are in life, you can always find that you are not more than one single dot in this universe. It transforms the sentence "I am the greatest" into "hey, look I am just another matter that God created in this universe". Gratefulness can actually make you work hard and do more useful things, because when you have been blessed this much, how can you not feel confident that your God will always help you in everything you do?Ā
Being happy for others has done wonders, too. The feeling of joy that you have when you see other's success without wanting to let them down is a marvelous thing. It inspires you to do more, without hurting anyone, including yourself. You see, enviousness is a poison. I have come across that feeling over and over again and by now I know that it only brings hate and jealousy: two things that can never, ever, be good for your mental (and physical) health. Always remember that every single person has their own struggles too. We must not take for granted what they can achieve right now while it should actually motivate us to do better.Ā
So, confidence is an important thing, but being grateful and happy for others? I guess that's the key to a happy life.
(Pic is taken fromĀ http://favim.com/image/2230748/Ā )
