Rat Empire

shitposts blog.

[ratempirearise]

Bucket list

Putting a bucket list here for things I have to do before I die:

Self Immolate

psychedelics

Cocaine

Fentanyl

Kick a rat on the streets of New York (lovingly)

Talk to birds

Lie down flat in a river like a horse

Find a human meat cookie

eat the human meat cookie

fall in love

Make my lover into a meat cookie

feed the meat cookie to the thing in the water

find a way to smoke the meat cookie

Join with the meet cookie in body and soul

Become the meat cookie

make another rodent

eat everything at least once to be sure that it's not made of rats

transfiguration

[aliyahgracedrawing]

Aromantic rat joins the growing pride rat army!

Give me some name suggestions and what pride rat you’d like to see next!

[ratempirearise]

Another one of those nights with me, the rat kingdom, preachers daughter and my intrusive thoughts

[ratempirearise]

Today, thirty-one police officers will be bitten by rats

[ratempirearise]

a live insect fell out of my hair today. This is a sign from God. They are trying to kill me.

[ratempirearise]

I am too powerful

[ratempirearise]

I have discovered that if I take my nicotine hits at two in the morning I can stay up for an interminable amount of time.

[ratempirearise]

morning. I have been sleeping at five a.m and waking up at six every day for the last several weeks. If health is real I would be dead or terribly sick. Clearly biology is fake and I am God

[ratempirearise]

I just found out that my asexual friend of five years has been dating for over a month what the fuck is going on

[el-meant]

Oh look, rat wizard. His name is Ratthew

And his (zombie) son Jack

Why did I make these? I had to make note cards for my English class earlier this year and I made these guys for them, and I got carried away.

[ratempirearise]

Hello Jacke Hello Ratthew

[simkaye]

Did you use limewire and how bad did it fuck up your computer?

[ratempirearise]

Dilemma

the birds are talking to me again

[ratempirearise]

Rabbits are also evil. They're just huge invasive rats who do less crime and less lurking.

[bluebowlingalley]

We need a nastier rat emoji. This one🐀 just doesnt have enough rat energy. Not ,sewer system´ and ,deadly disease` and ,was raised in a lab´ enough. You know what I mean.

[ratempirearise]

I second this

[fawfulydoo]

pill bug is car. millipede is bus. got it?

[parafrazerofhistory]

A Letter to Rats

“Some years ago an American farmer was reported to have written a civil letter to the rats, telling them that his crops were short, that he could not afford to keep them through the winter, that he had been very kind to them, and that for their own good he thought they had better leave him and go to some of his neighbours who had more grain. This document he pinned to a post in his barn for the rats to read.” [1]

—J. G. Frazer, Spirits of the Corn & of the Wild, part 2 (The Golden Bough, vol. VIII, 1912, p. 277)

Two Rats, by Vincent van Gogh (1884).

(Source: Vincent van Gogh, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons)

[1] American Journal of Folk-lore, xi. (1898) p. 161. When Frazer says the farmer was American, he means it in the broadest possible sense, for the man was from South Walsingham in Ontario, Canada. The short article from which this amusing story is drawn relates that, following the posting of the letter, every rat was gone within two days.

[ratempirearise]

I need to be a mountain