MAGGIE ISN'T JUST ANY kind of woman. hell, sometimes she doesn't feel like a woman at all. she is explosive. breaking through the fabric of time. but there are times -- especially like this one, when she is tired of fighting. and for some reason, she finds herself compelled to open herself up in front of willem. bare her soul. but her sensibilities get the better of her. she continues to hold the strong facade she bares together. it's not just because it's easier that way, but because it's all she's ever known.
at first, she's silent. manuvering slowly, as if she's a member of the undead. as if her feet are engulfed in quicksand. but, she eventually finds the chair in the corner of the room -- before adjusting it to his bedside. even if her vision is hazy. engulfed in the overwhelm.
as numb as she's always been, moving through life -- in this moment, she feels so much. perhaps because she has never allowed anyone to know her quite like he does. just some bruises. he says it so casually, but she sees it playing in her mind -- if things could have gone differently. even if she thanks every second that it didn't, she can't escape the thought.
" finn's fine. " she nods quietly, placing a hand on one of the railings of his bedside as she tries to collect her thoughts. silence her mind, even if it's just for five fucking seconds. and yet, it screams louder than ever. " he didn't even want to go in the first place. barely looked up from his video game. " she pauses, before an exhale turns into nervous laughter. " i should have chucked that console against the wall a long time ago. but, apparently it's trendy to tune out from the world at that age. pretend your parents don't exist. "
again, she's silent. before the words finally come. and they spill over before she can make sense of them.
“ you don’t get to do that. die on me. “ she whispers, nearly choking on the emotions that threaten to betray her. “ i need to go first. “