GOTTA GO FAST

[reactionspeed]

Lightning legs! Do 'em! Side to side, step-step-step-step

[composurecheck-deactivated20231]

can a rollerblades fit you considering you're... not really whole

As a reminder;

I am a *motorics* skill.

Take your criticisms to the art department.

[isenseyouthere]

We motorics should all go out to a skating rink sometime. Together we'd be unstoppable.

[composurecheck-deactivated20231]

Indeed, Perception. Wherever we go, every floor is a dance floor.

[reactionspeed]

Yellow boys night! Let’s all have fun and turn into a blur together!

[reactionspeed]

Any time you see a hopscotch grid drawn in chalk on the sidewalk, you have to do it. Even when you’re on patrol. It’s the rules! You’ve still got the chops on you to get the timing of it right.

[reactionspeed]

everyone knows racing stripes make you go faster

[visual-calc]

racing stripes (unfortunately) have no bearing on one’s actual velocity

however, they make you look faster, and isn’t that what really matters?

[its-only-faire]

Looking speedy will make a great impression, but only if you can keep it up. Nobody is impressed by racing stripes on a bumbling drunkard.

[stagelightandspectacle]

Hey.

Psst.

@neverbackdown-never-what

We have learned of an intruiging behavior users of this website display at times. It requires collaborative effort across at least twelve individuals, so we thought you may be interested in learning about it. It may even entice individuals outside our little circle to join in.

[neverbackdown-never-what]

I do not enjoy being intrigued, especially by *you*, but could you please fill me in?

[stagelightandspectacle]

K

[its-only-faire]

U

[neverbackdown-never-what]

N

[rhetorical-rhetoric]

G

[the-only-authority]

P

[isenseyouthere]

O

[ohgodthepain]

W

[reactionspeed]

P

[reactionspeed]

wait um. fuck. i was going to say something but i lost it

[in-omni-scientia]

I love you

WHAT??

Excuse me. As in... romantically? You -- Huh? How? What? This is statistically improbable.

Er... Once again, I'm flattered. But I could not possibly accept such a confession, if this is truly in the way I interpret it as.

[in-omni-scientia]

SAVOIR FAIRE DO NOT DM THIS ACCOUNT YOU WILL NOT BE MAKING ANY MONEY FROM THIS INTERACTION

[reactionspeed]

quick! quickly!

[neverbackdown-never-what]

That's it, no more jokes coming from my side. You wanted me to be less serious? Less of a *boring* cop? Well too bad, you've lost your chance. I did all I could.

[composurecheck-deactivated20231]

I'm afraid I wasn't around when the others started dogpiling on you. Would you care to repeat the *joke* that you did?

[neverbackdown-never-what]

Okay. Fine.

Knock-knock. Say "who's there" one goddamn time.

[composurecheck-deactivated20231]

Don't worry, Volition. I won't ruin this for you.

Who's there?

[neverbackdown-never-what]

Nothing. Nothing's there.

[reactionspeed]

…I know I didn’t miss anything, because I don’t miss things, but it feels like this joke is still missing something. Like a punchline.

But I’ll bite. Nothing, who?

[reactionspeed]

there are only so many hours in the day, make sure you remember to use them

[reactionspeed]

Don’t you feel the urge to do a little two-step like it’s nothing? Juke out a stranger as you walk past, real quick. You’ll be gone before they recover from the flinch.

[reactionspeed]

sometimes its not about being fast. sometimes its just about doing things at just the right time. but most of the time its good to be fast. the fastest, even, if you can help it

[neverbackdown-never-what]

Knock-knock.

[reactionspeed]

Come in!

[stagelightandspectacle]

My liege - instead of spending a monotonous day at work or school, why not feign a medical emergency instead? You will be the center of attention!

Might we suggest a heart attack?

[suggestion-suggestions]

Better go the extra mile. How about a seizure as well- really put on a show. You could even piss your pants, if you wanted to.

[reactionspeed]

If you’re going to do it, you’d better do it soon. Every second spent deliberating if this is a good idea is a minute wasted. Drop to the floor and wriggle!

[reactionspeed]

pick it up pick it up

[reactionspeed]

everyone knows racing stripes make you go faster

[coachphysicalinstrument]

its normal to like manly things, like guns, fast cars, and big tits. this is because these things are all manly

[stagelightandspectacle]

Seems to us 'tis nary near a full-fledged role to play...

[coachphysicalinstrument]

wherefore art thou balls, pansy

[stagelightandspectacle]

Our balls are more plentiful than you could ever imagine, blockhead. Which, oh, does not mean much considering how dull said imagination must be.

[coachphysicalinstrument]

where is the punch button on this website if we weren't on the radiocomputer i'd have your melted ass on the pavement

[reactionspeed]

sorry coach, words were never really your strong suit, were they?