I donāt write my thoughts for the internet to see anymore and I kind of miss that? I think itās the season change. But itās also because I have recently suffered a great loss and am trying to take time for myself to digest, reflect, and carry on with my life.
This semester was already difficult for me and itās no oneās fault but my own. After being in grad school for two semesters and doing pretty well, I reached my peak you could say. Working 50+ hours a week this summer between two jobs, starting back at school with a full time internship, job on campus, and a serving job on the weekend made me just want to crawl into a ball and hide. And I have been doing just that. I have lost some of my passion for school and my futureĀ ācareerā in history, but I also have been super passionate about my style blog. I fail to go into work or my internship on time so I can shoot photos, or write up a post real quick. I think this is great. Finding passion in anythingĀ is great. Receiving great feedback and emails to collaborate with companies lets me know that I am doing something right. Itās just the fact that blogging is not exactly paying the bills, which consumes my life. I also feel like blogging is still viewed as a weird career to aspire, since it is so new. I feel weird telling people I know in real life that I have a blog. I donāt know why, I still feel self-conscious about it I guess because Iām not sure what certain people will think, which is in no way healthy for myself. I just need to do me and forget what people think, which I am constantly working on everyday of my life.
Donāt get me wrong, I still love history and want to be an archivist, but realistically, reaching that dream is going to take some time, just as blogging will. In the end, both blogging and archives are kind of backup plans for each other.
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2087
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