This place stretches far beyond my imagination.
This realm can be controlled. I have not been able to grasp my potential here.
Taehyung told me to start small. We found a flower yesterday on our favorite hill.
He told me to make it blossom. I do not know how I did it. But I did.
When I think of things, they become.Â
I cannot control the realm itself. But I can change the less important things.
I can make the barren fields full of life. I can make forests sprout.
Taehyung and I like to play on our hill when the climate changes.
Rain does not exist in this world. Nor snow.
It is always warm here. But if I wish to, I can make rain and snow.
It does not last. But it is fun to see how long we can keep a snowflake last.
Most days we like the realmâs natural brightness.
There is no day and night. But there are stars in the sky.
My favorite activity is when we run. To see how far the realm expands.
We never reach the end. We always collapse in the soft grass and rest there.
Taehyung will fall asleep there. He always smiles when he sleeps.
I am never tired but I always wait for him to rest before we continue exploring.
I never sleep. I am always awake in my eternal sleep. It is strange.
I forget what sleep feels like. I forget what a dream feels like.
Time does exist here. That was the first thing I learned.
The way I know it is a new day is we end up at the same spot every morning.
The same spot where we arrived in this realm.
Every time it feels Taehyung and I are close to the edge of the realm, we return.
We know it is effortless. But we love to find new places. So we run anyway.
He reminds me every day he is thankful he is not alone here.
He told me about my memory loss. About my accident.Â
Everything before I was here in the realm.
I do not know exactly how long until my memory returned to me.
Sometimes my memory leaves me. i forget everything but my own name.
But I know it will return. It never matters when I do or do not remember.
The times I do remember I wonder about reality.
What my life would have been like if I had woke up.
What if I had not stayed? Would I be alive?
I know that I am still alive. I know because of the things I feel from the real world.
When I touch something here it has no substance.Â
But I can feel the real world. I know it is the real world.
And sometimes, when it is quiet, and I listen for it, I hear their voices.
I cannot talk to them. I cannot hear what they say. But I listen fondly.
The sounds of the real world make me curious.
I never want to see it. I never want to open my eyes to reality.
But I like when I hear them.
I know what Seokjin said about being lost.
He said it would make me lose hope.
But that is not true. Yes I do not want to leave this realm.
But I still have hopes. I still hope for the others.Â
I still hope their days are good ones. I still hope they have not forgotten me.
I hope they do not have regrets.
I know they probably donât.
But I still wonder. About them. About Seokjin. About Taehyung.
About what if they stayed.
