Which is worse: heaven or hell?
This post was inspired by a discussion on Reddit about whether heaven or hell is actually worse in Good Omens. I find the question very interesting and will try to answer it by comparing the two places (@dalliancekay did kind of the same thing in this post, but with a different focus). But first, let's have a look at what Crowley in the book has to say about it:
"Well, Hell was worse, of course, by definition. But Crowley remembered what Heaven was like, and it had quite a few things in common with Hell. You couldn't get a decent drink in either of them, for a start. And the boredom you got in Heaven was almost as bad as the excitement you got in Hell" (Pratchett/Gaiman, p. 32; emphasis in the original; cited below).
So Crowley points towards the similarities between heaven and hell, why also acknowledging that, technically, hell is still worse. We will come to see how he really hits the nail on the head with this.
In many ways, heaven and hell are opposites. The creators imagined them as offices, with heaven being the best and hell being the worst (cf. this article). In heaven, everything is well organized; the angels are rarely seen working. The modern aesthetic, with the latest technology, wide, clean and tidy white rooms and large windows that flood them with light highlights its outward perfection.
Hell, on the other hand, is dark, filthy, crowded and stuffed with clutter. The demons are working without a pause. They use outdated technology and there is always something broken. When Shax and her 175th of a legion go to earth to attack Aziraphale's bookshop, they have to take the stairs because the lift is out of order, and Hastur famously has to delay his trip to Megiddo because he is busy catching water from a leaking pipe (for more about the working conditions in both places, see also this post by @im-the-j-in-anthony-j-crowley).
There have been discussions as to why this is the case. The official character description for Beelzebub on Prime Video mentions that there is "more processive work to do in hell than in heaven", which could be an allusion to either more people going to hell, or, more likely in my opinion, to the demons having to torture the damned, while the saved can just be left alone. But on top of that, it is implied that the demons just have poor organization skills. After all, there must be a reason why heaven won the war and has been "in charge", as Crowley puts it, for the last six thousand years.
Moreover, malevolence and mistrust reign in hell. Torture is perceived as something normal, and threats of violence a legitimate means to get what you want. Instead of showing solidarity in the face of their miserable living conditions, the demons make every effort to have their fellows suffer even more. Josh, the demon who stands guard at Beelzebub's door, regularly gets his tongue ripped out for simply talking too much. Yet he does not take this as a call to treat others better than he is treated, but mirrors the abusive behaviour and uses his position as guard to play power games with people like Shax and deny her access. FurFur has learned that dedication to your job won't get you anywhere, but that you can only climb the corporate ladder at the expense of others.
The angels in heaven, however, trust each other so much that they can't even imagine that one of them would lie and that they don't consider it necessary to ever change their passwords (I made a whole post about the dangerous amount of trust in heaven; you can read it here). Yes, there is bullying and infighting in heaven, too, especially between the Archangels. But the bigger problem in heaven is that most of the angels get just completely ignored. Muriel sees other people only "every few hundred years", and they are well aware that to their superiors, they are just "you know, nobody". @wistfulnightingale illustrated this lack of recognition very well in her post on Gabriel.
Furthermore, as mentioned in the above quote from the book, the angels are just endlessly bored. You only have to watch Michael's envy when he learns that Gabriel has a desk, and his contentment when he finally gets his hands on it. @drconstellation has mentioned in this post how the desk clearly is a status symbol here, but given the sterile environment in heaven, an angel with a new desk must feel like a child with a new toy.
The demons, on the other hand, seem to have more fun in their lifes, at least if you leave the workload and the torture aside. They know music and do dance.
But despite their differences, heaven and hell also have a lot of commonalities. They both are totalitarian institutions that demand utter obedience from their members. The series shows how even Gabriel and Beelzebub as leaders are still prisoners of the system and can't act freely. Gabriel gets a trial for announcing his choice to refrain from a second Armageddon. Beelzebub's reaction after Crowley's failed execution shows how they live in constant fear of a rebellion. Both of them are held accountable for the failure of the first attempt at the Apocalypse.
Plus, neither the angels nor the demons know much about the humans whose souls they're constantly trying to win for their respective sides. Neither of them indulge in earthly things like food and drinks.
People in the cited Reddit discussion, like user Addled_Mongoose, who suggested that heaven was worse than hell mentioned its hypocrisy as an argument. Both heaven and hell do cruel things, like killing people to achieve their goals, but hell at least does not pretend that they're the good guys. Heaven, on the other hand, proves multiple times that they do not practice what they preach. They might not torture disobedient angels themselves, but there is always the threat of being sent to hell. Essentially, heaven outsources the punishment of supernatural beings as well as humans and lets hell do the dirty work in order to still be able to claim moral purity (cf. this post by @fuckyeahisawthat). And when heaven really does something that you would consider evil, it is labelled as justified (for more about the concept of justified violence in Good Omens, see also this post by @wistfulnightingale). Even the erasure of Gabriel's whole identity is framed "as a kindness" by the Metatron.
But hell is hypocritical, too. Hell's values are different than heaven's, but they're not any better at living up to them than the opposite side. For example, hell considers disobedience and rebellion something positive, and yet Crowley tells Aziraphale in the book: "'But my people are only in favour of disobedience in general terms. It's specific obedience they come down on heavily.' 'Such as disobedience to themselves?' 'You've got it'" (Pratchett/Gaiman, p. 56; emphasis in the original; cited below). This can be seen in Satan's reaction to Adam's refusal to destroy the world as I illustrated in this post, but it also becomes manifest in the fate of Sister Theresa, one of the satanic nuns. Contrary to Christian nuns, who take a vow of silence, they are obliged to speak out everything that comes to their mind. When Hastur tells them that their convent is dissolved, Sister Theresa explicitly refers to this vow, stating: "We are a chattering order. We say what is on our minds, and right now, what's on my mind is that you can't treat us like that!" And Hastur kills her instantly for it. So much for free speech.
Or consider Hastur's behaviour during Crowley's trial. He points out the outrageousness of Crowley's crime of killing a fellow demon and how that calls for a punishment. Then, only minutes later, he himself throws a demon into the tub with holy water to test it, and when asked by the terrified creature what justifies that action, he simply answers "wrong place, wrong time". If that isn't hypocrisy, then I don't know what is.
So are heaven and hell both equally bad? No, not exactly. Yes, they're both totalitarian institutions, represent extremes that aren't healthy, and neither of them lives up to its values. But while heaven's values are positive, hell's are cruel. @im-the-j-in-anthony-j-crowley writes in this post that hell is only bad because heaven made it so, but I have to disagree. It was the demons who started the war, and who, after being cast out, made hell the place it is now. Even Crowley calls them "the wrong people". Not the average demon who only does their job without thinking about it much, maybe, but definetely the ones who lead the rebellion against God and love evil, like Lucifer/Satan.
Shipley makes an interesting remark about heaven and hell having different concepts of good: "What is good for God is not good for Satan, and vice versa" (107; cited below). Ironically, most of the time hell still uses the word 'good' in the traditional sense, namely for the things heaven does. That is because heaven and hell both believe in the inevitability of God's Great Plan (cf. Goldfarb Styrt, p. 123; cited below). The two different meanings of the word 'good' in hell can lead to some confusal, as seen in this funny piece of dialogue:
Hastur: "So, Crowley. What's Mr. Slick done now?" - Ligur: "I'm not sure. But I know it's nothing good." - Hastur: "Oh. Well, that's alright then. He's not meant to do good." - Ligur: "Figure of speech. Nothing bad, then."
Hell "defies divine authority but remains crucial to the theological framework, operates within the boundaries of the cosmic order they seek to subvert" (Rudolf, p. 38; cited below). Just as heaven needs hell to outsource things that they consider negative, hell needs heaven to rebel against. They can only define themselves in relation to each other. This proves how they are really just two halves of one big system (cf. the post by @fuckyeahisawthat cited above). And this poses a big problem to them. Since destroying the other side is their only purpose - they "live for Armageddon" - the achievement of said goal would render their existence meaningless. Adam directly addresses this issue in the book: "But even if you win, you can't really beat the other side, because you don't really want to. I mean, not for good. You'll just start all over again" (Pratchett/Gaiman, p. 366; cited below).
So the only sensible thing for heaven and hell to do would be to admit that they need each other. And more than that: they should acknowledge that there are more things that unite them than things that separate them, give up their opposition and allow all angels and demons to explore both their good and bad sides. The demons have to learn to trust others, the angels to mistrust them. Both sides have to accept that the world isn't just black and white, but consists of shades of grey.
And my prediction is that this is exactly what will happen at the end of the finale.
Pratchett, Terry and Gaiman, Neil: Good Omens. The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch. London 2011.
Goldfarb Styrt, Philip: Sola Fide. Ineffability, Good Omens, and the Reformation. In: Giannini, Erin and Taylor, Amanda (Eds.): Deciphering Good Omens. Nice and Accurate Essays on the Novel and Television Series, pp. 120-132.
Rudolf, Veronika: And everything in-between. Tricksterism, Gender Play and celestial Authority in Good Omens. In: Cuntz-Leng, Vera (Ed.): Heaven, Hell, and everything in-between. Critical Perspectives on Good Omens, pp. 26-43.
Shipley, Morgan: Eschatological Ambiguity in Good Omens. How Concerns for Survival blur the Lines between good and evil. In: Giannini, Erin and Taylor, Amanda (Eds.): Deciphering Good Omens. Nice and Accurate Essays on the Novel and Television Series, pp. 104-119.
