people complaining over a stripe standing among other things for SELF-LOVE are ridiculous. it's a flag for the COMMUNITY, surely you can recognize that self-love is a quality that asexual people are already discouraged from having by the rest of the society and should be allowed to have a place. surely it's much cooler than an "allies" stripe! and since when is every single stripe in a pride flag supposed to be personally relatable to every single member of the community?! the commonly used ace flag isn't doing that, the commonly used aro flag literally also has a stripe for non-romantic love, the commonly used aroace flag also has a stripe for love and relationships.
i get hating it when change gets introduced into your environment, but that's like, the same force that motivated toddler me to refuse transitioning from potty to toilet for a while and i even had a feeling i wasn't supposed to resist back then, you are all hopefully more in control of yourselves than that. you don't even need to actually change anything about yourself here! just don't make your hatred of new ideas other people's problem, for fuck's sake
and regarding the colors - who cares about the exact hues. flags are made to be made with fabric or pencils or whatever other materials you have on hand, you're not meant to always colorpick the exact same ones. black - grey - white - yellow - pink - purple is enough, you can use whatever hues look good or are available to you, and you have thousands of options on a digital screen.
This person was insisting that the ace flag specifically should be excluded in child-friendly pride events bc it's "exclusively about sex" like ok
It's not called a sexuality because it's not about sex, is it?
And so what? Homosexuality is also exclusively about sex. So is bisexuality? Omnisexual, pansexual, and all the other sexualities too?
Sexual attraction is about sex. Whether or not you have it and for who it's for.
If you want a more child-friendly version, go to a specific pride event made to be all-ages. The world doesn't change for you. You need to find your own spaces.
sometimes i remember that gender and romantic/sexual attraction exist. like are real and other people can experience them. and like it. and then i cry.
I donāt think Iām aspec or anything, but Iām planning to live a celibate life (religious reason) and I dislike how people act like me not having sex is a waste of a life :( my mom said sex is necessary for life. Sorry for intruding in yāallās space but I donāt have a lot of places to talk about this
This is aphobia
Donāt feel bad about intruding into aspec spaces btw! Aphobia is still aphobia no matter who experiences it, aspec or allo. You are 100% welcome to talk about it in aspec spaces!
if i hear someone say that ace/aro people 'can still have relationships or sex' im going to actually send them a pipe bomb. Unknown fact i know but they also don't sometimes. Im tired of people not taking aro/ace characters identities seriously because they can't comprehend a person not wanting to date or have sex. tell me why you erase a core aspect in the aroace community in the name of upholding diversity. Because youre not. its conformity in a pretty bow
Me and my boyfriend has been togheter for 1 year and 5 months.
We are both trans (ftm) and asexual.
I have never ever trusted or loved another human being this much before. I am on the aroace spectrum, I am asexual and I have only ever had feelings for him. We were friends for so many years. First interaction we had was back when I was 7 and we have been friends since then. Nine years of friendship. Soon one and a half as partners.
I love him. He loves me. But a lot people cant accept that fact. Because we dont kiss. We dont make out. We dont have sex. We are not "romantic" in the traditional way.
"so he's just a close friend then."
"what do you mean you dont kiss?"
"how can you be togheter and NOT kiss?! Come on, you must have done it!!"
Things we have both been told. Our relationship isnt enough for some people to consider us boyfriends.
We cuddle. We hug. We hold hands. We love each other to the end of the universe and back.
I dont like physical touch. I don't hug my friends. I avoid it like the plague. But not with him. When he's around we are magnets. And you cant even try to separate us. We cling to each other like a lifeline.
And yet we dont get respected. Our relationship isnt seen as serious. Im tired of it.
9 months ago I saw a verrrry Acephobic video on YT and I will never forget it. Itās called āAces are not LGBTā by RunawaySiren, the thumnail is worse. It says āAces you are not being discriminated against because you donāt want to have sex!ā Or something like that.
Hereās like a numbered list of everything wrong with it. Go watch it if you donāt believe me. Context going in, I am Bi Aego.
Lazy video - the video is just some pngtuber rambling about how aces are not lgbt while showing no articles, studies, or any sort of proof of her bonker claims. Itās just scrolling through tumblr screenshots that are about asexuality. Thatās literally the entire background footage for the video!!! Imagine if Hbomberguyās video about plagiarism was just scrolling through James Somertonās YouTube channel while Hbomb is just spouting nonsense.
Pain Olympics - RunawaySiren believes that aces are real, they just donāt belong because of one reason which I will discuss later and another is because āAces arenāt oppressed and ārealā lgbt people have been historically oppressedā. Okay I shouldnāt have to tell you that yes Aces are oppressed and itās not just people being mean about aces not having sex. But lgbt identities should not have to be defined by the historical and present discrimination. HOT TAKE OF 2010! QUEER PEOPLE ARE MORE THAN THIER TRUAMA. It should be acknowledged and fixed, but itās not all we are. That mindset kinda, I donāt know how to put it, gives power to our suppressors?
TRANSPHOBIA - Remember the other first reason I mentioned? Well it was the fact that since asexuality is defined by not having sexual attraction and is sometimes referred to a lack of sexuality, they are not queer. This ignores trans people of course who while can be gay, bi, or pan, transgender is not a sexuality, it is a gender identity. This isnāt even a slip up, someone in the comments points this out and the she says āyeah trans people arenāt lgbt eitherā. She also criticize micro ace labels AND gender labels to make a point about how weāre all making a bunch of labels up so we can feel special, this is including trans people. Runaway also have a separate video agreeing with the sentiment that drag shows = black face??? Yeah.
Making up shit that rarely/doesnt happen - she claims that aces are trying to remove gay rep by replacing them with queerplatonic relationships and pretending that itās inclusiveā¦ā¦and that they criticize rare gay rep by tweeting āoh these people should be friends, that would be inclusiveāā¦ā¦this person is acting exactly like the conservatives who claim that gay people are trying to insert them selves in media and to push out the poor straight people.
If you wanna stop here because your sensitive to topics like corrective rape then hereās my final thought but if you wanna keep going, there is one more critique under the cut.
This video was bad, poorly researched, and lazy. Gatekeeping labels is cringe. The only good that came out of it was that I made an ace mushroom because RunawaySirenās whole thesis. Itās on my blog called Ace mushroom.
SA MENTIONS BELOW
5. Dismissing aces getting sexually assaulted - she does mention the real life statistics that aces being saād but Runaway said ācorrective rape is no different than people who are raped for being frigid or uninterestedā. This is disgusting, dismissing a real thing that can happen to a lot of asexuals to justify excluding them is so gross.
if your response to, āI wish there was more sex repulsed asexual representation,ā is to point out not all aces are sex repulsed, maybe first stop and ask yourself why you are doing that. We live in a society thatās constantly telling us we need to have sex and Iām so glad there are aces who arenāt bothered by that, but it doesnāt invalidate those of us that do not want to. This isnāt a competition, I want to see all kinds of aces, being upset with a lack of respect for sex repulsed aces doesnāt mean I think the rep thatās already there for sex positive aces should be changed. I am capable of wanting both, why arenāt you?
