hate summer

active january 2022 I don’t promote ed this is just to vent and to control myself

[reallytryingtofast]

STATUS

height- 165 cm

lowest weight- 65 kg

highest weight- 78 kg

start weight- 75 kg

current weight- 70,6kg

—————

gw1- 70kg🔒

gw2- 65kg🔒

gw3- 60kg🔒

ugw- 50kg🔒

[funnytwittertweets]

[halfaperson]

[grlsgen]

food doesn’t even feel like something i need to have to live anymore. like it just feels like a compulsion or a bad habit i need to break. something i need to do around other people to fit in… it’s so weird feeling this way

[dreamyandotherworldly]

TW: ED VENT ART

[coldbrewbones]

everyday i step on my silly little scale, lose my silly little weight and continue my silly little life

[dancing-saturn-deactivated20220]

Let's be real. It's not about being skinny. It's about looking as sick on the outside as you feel on the inside.

[reallytryingtofast]

i have gained weight, this is the worst feeling i swear to god. I´m almost right where i started and i hate it, after all of the work, all of the hunger, the night where i cried myself to sleep. Nothing was worth it. Why do i have to be like this? Why can´t i be good at one thing? I hate myself 

[reallytryingtofast]

I can´t stop binging what is wrong with me????? 

[iguanamouth]

[fad3awayb3ach]

OKAY bitch!

Get it together, Baby! You’ve got this! You set your goal, and you’re doing good you’ve almost made it to the first stop!!! DONT GIVE UP, BABY!! no more excuses.. no more “cheat”/“lazy” days.

You are loving! You are happy with your skinny frame! You lost all that weight, Baby, and you are happy!

Remember how bad you felt the last time you looked at that scale? That’s because of those “lazy” days . Remember how good and lively you felt… working on that flat tummy you have now? Exactly! That took a lot of work, but you’re not done! Keep up the good work, Babes 🥰

I love you and our skinny body 🥰

Sincerely,

f.a.b

[reallytryingtofast]

Today was the first time someone realized that I have lost weight. I don’t know how to feel about it, honestly I just want to cry. I just need a true hug from someone who actually knows of what i’m going through and tell me that i’m going to be ok at some point of my life. That is all I ask for. Even tho i know that im not going to recover from this ever but i just want to hear someone caring about me.

[thinhip]

only reblog this if you WILL lose weight. lets see who really has their priorities in order.

[reallytryingtofast]

goal 😞

[reallytryingtofast]

I’ve already lost around 10kg since I started with my ed but I don’t see a difference. Wtf am I doing wrong???? I saw lots of people who have lost the same amount of weight as me and they look pretty different. Why can’t I be like them?

[reallytryingtofast]

It hits really hard when I realize I am never going to be comfortable with my body.

Doesn’t matter how many weight I’ve lost or gained. I will not love myself, I will never be enough.

[reallytryingtofast]

I am not feeling good, this is not going where I wanted it to go.

There is always something pushing me back to do what I want to feel enough.

But there is always that voice, that fucking voice, that reminds me that I am trash. That I don’t deserve anything, I don’t deserve to be love from other people. Not even myself, I should not love myself.

That voice that tells me that I need to starve, that I should not have ate before,that I shouldn’t have talked back then, that I should stop trying so hard at everything.

So I will stop, I will stop pretending I love myself, stop pretending everything is ok and that I am ok. Because I am not, I am so tired of this.

I am so tired of myself.