one of a kind

theo lund. apparently e news knows everything there is to know about me.

[realwxnderdog]

.speakofjxstice:

As if one member of the male species causing a scene wasn’t enough, another just had to join in as if it was some sort of overdramatic pissing contest. 

For someone who was trying to get through this part of her life with as little attention as possible, she had far too much of it right now. The entire diner was staring in her general direction, having already noticed the commotion Idiot Man #1 had caused when he dived to one knee to express his love for her. As she pressed herself into the wall in her attempts to try keep as far away from him as possible, Idiot Man #2 suddenly let out a loud gasp and tumbled off the back of his chair.

Aggie’s initial reaction was worry; his body made a jarring noise as it hit the floor that caused her to wince. She’d hit the floor with that amount of force from a badly time jump or step many a time, and she knew the way it could send all the breath rushing from your body. 

His cry for help sent a surge of panic through her; she’d brought herself into a crouching position on the diner booth, trying to figure out the best way to get out and avoid her doting fan so she could help him. Before she could move, however, the two men were in a heap as one barrelled into the other, clearly still in the throes of agony.

And then he winked at her.

What?

She climbed out of the diner booth, trying to avoid getting hit by the flailing limbs of both men as they rolled across the floor like a pair of idiots. She wondered what on earth the second man thought he was playing at, messing around like this. As if the first loser hadn’t been embarrassing enough to endure, now she had a fake heart attack to deal with. She grabbed the shoulder of her admirer, pulling him free from the drama queen’s act; at least he’d stopped spouting unfortunate compliments since he’d been knocked to the floor. Helping him to his feet, she grabbed his shoulders and poke with all the seriousness she could muster.

“You should go get help.” Aggie instructed him, pointing at the door of the diner. She’d already gathered that he wasn’t the brightest soul, but she was glad that he didn’t seem to question her logic - instead he nodded earnestly, then bolted out the door. There was a pang of guilt as she watched him run, clearly thinking he was helping out as he scampered across the road, but it quickly dried up when she remembered how he wouldn’t leave her alone. At least that was one idiot dealt with.

Dropping gracefully to her kness, she leant over the remaining troublemaker. To any concerned patrons of the diner watching, it would appear that she was checking for a pulse or getting ready to give mouth to mouth; in reality, she grabbed the collar of his t-shirt and used it to pull him partially upright, getting his attention in the process.

“Qu'est ce qui ne vas pas chez toi?” She hissed, before rolling up onto her feet and using her dancer’s strength to pull him up with her.

Facing the curious crowd that had gathered, she threw an arm around his waist and smiled broadly. “He’s okay!” She announced, a relieved sigh rippling through the diner at her words. “We’re just going to- water. In the kitchen.” With a harsh tug disguised with a warm smile, she pulled him after her into the kitchen which was mercifully empty as all the waitresses were trying to corral the customers back to their seats. As soon as they were through the doors, she dropped her arm and shoved him away from her.

“What the fuck was that?!”

Well, it was a good thing that Theo wasn’t truly ill, for the brunette’s uncaring attitude wouldn’t have aided him whatsoever. Even after he had so graciously deigned to roll around the floor in order to help her. The way she dropped to her knees and grabbed his shirt, nearly pinching his skin in the process, had him wide-eyed and shocked. Was this how the Cherry Grove inhabitants showed gratitude? It really was the birthplace of true Neanderthals.

He was hauled ungraciously to his feet by a surprising amount of strength, still reeling from the angry French words thrown his way. In his daze, he hadn’t managed to translate them all that well but from her tone, he doubted the brunette had been commending his outstanding acting skills like she should have been. If this had been a restaurant on Melrose Avenue then all the waitresses would have collectively swooned by this point and the rest of the patrons would be on their feet applauding him in a standing ovation. Yet the gormless halfwits in this town only seemed able to gawp at him and do absolutely nothing except stare as they held their salt shaker for too long over their fries.

Theo wrinkled his nose at one particularly large salt mountain while the waitress reassured everyone that he was alright. Manfully, he straightened up and decided, against his better judgment, that he would graciously bestow a wave towards the rest of the diners. Just to let everyone know he was perfectly alright, no thanks to them. However, the diner remained silent and his wave wasn’t met with a single cheer. Eventually chatter started back up again as everyone went back to their meals and Theo was ushered into the kitchen.

God, what kind of hell hole had he moved to?

“What are you – get off!” he pouted when the woman dragged him through a set of double doors that threatened to hit him on their way back. He stumbled into the cooking area and was met with the smell of freshly baked pies and other assorted meals, something that would have possibly been a treat to him had it not been for the deep fat fryer in the corner, spilling over with grease and fat. Clapping a hand over his mouth, Theo hunched over and began dramatically gagging into his palm.

His nausea was only dispelled by the woman’s sharp question and he straightened up to look at her, expression aghast.

“Excuse me?” he gaped. “That was me helping you get away from your undesirable admirer, thank you very much!”

Was it really so hard for her to be a little grateful? If it hadn’t been for him and his act of chivalry then she would still be out there listening to wannabe Hugh Grant waffling on about love and the echoing beat of his heart brought on only by the sight of her eyes. Admittedly something he knew Minnie would trip over her own feet for, but then again, he’d always been a little dubious about his friend’s choice in men – aside from himself, of course!

“It was either that or start stripping and run through the diner as nature intended!” he claimed. He strode over to the door, haughtily glancing over his shoulder with a frown. “But I guess I shouldn’t have bothered.”

He turned and was about to continue his march out only to discover someone had opened the door and it was now swinging back to meet him. At once it bashed off his head and he gasped, clutching his face at once as pain seared through his brow bone.

“Are you kidding me?” he swore, face scrunched up in pain due to the results of his very real injury this time.

[dailydccast]

Ciara Renee at the 2015 CTV Upfronts

[realwxnderdog]

.speakofjxstice:

Aggie normally preferred to work through her breaks, with nothing to do and no one to see in Cherry Grove. Occasionally, however, Patricia would catch her still scrubbing dishes ten minutes into her lunch hour and physically shoo her out of the kitchen until her free time was up. Today was one of those days and although Aggie appreciated the older woman’s thoughtfulness, she really would rather keep cleaning than be left with a whole sixty minutes with nothing to do. 

She’d spent her first few days’ breaks at the local mall (Lottie had wrangled an invitation out of her for shopping trip - Aggie wasn’t actually sure how it happened, the whole thing had been a bit of a blur) buying all the things she didn’t pack in her rush to relocate. Once that errand was over, however, it left her with nothing to do in her free time from the diner; there was no point going back to the apartment since Jay would be in his shop and she didn’t feel like going there either. Every moment spent with her new roommate, she felt herself getting more attached and she knew with a sinking feeling that it would only get worse when she finally had enough money to move on. The same was true for her co-workers; although her lunch break often coincided with another waitresses’, she made a point not to spend it with them. She was here for funds, not friends, and she couldn’t get distracted from that goal.

With a slice of Patricia’s latest concoction and a steaming cup of coffee in front of her, she curled into one of the booths in a quieter corner of the diner. On her first outing to the shops, she had found a small bookstore and spent much longer than she intended in it. She felt like she hadn’t properly read a novel in years; as a child, she had devoured any she could get her hands on during the long bouts of travelling she did with her mother and the dance troupe, all of which were happy to supply first their mascot, and then their fellow performer with books to keep her occupied. 

Now she always kept a book on hand for when Patricia put her foot down and forced her on break. Carefully removing the purple feather Jay had donated to her as a bookmark, she delved back into the author’s world, knowing that the remaining time of her break would fly by once she got lost in the story.

However, she was rudely forced to surface from her novel early when a man slid into the seat across from her and cleared his throat pointedly. Aggie offered him little more than a glance before returning to her book, but he was undeterred; instead he introduced himself and then began rabbiting on about how she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. Aggie cringed both inwardly and outwardly. She wasn’t so naive to realise she wasn’t attractive; his words however reminded her of a time when she would have fawned over such praise, a time when she actually did and had then wound up with her beauty marred with bruises caused by the man who had once claimed to admired it. 

“Sorry.” She pronounced her words heavily, thickening her French accent as she tucked her book under the table to hide the fact it was written in the very language she was pretending she didn’t know. “English? I do not speak…?” 

This, however, did not seem to bother the man in the slightest. He continued his monologue about how her curls reminded him of swirling puddles of mud (what?!) and she couldn’t help but roll her eyes despite her claim not to understand him - why did men assume that empty compliments (if you could call that a compliment) were the way to a woman’s heart? Although, she mused, he was probably aiming further south and hoping to worm his way into her pants rather than her heart. 

As she rolled her eyes, she caught sight of a man on the table across from them who seemed to be avidly watching and highly amused by the scene they were creating. Not in the mood for another male to tick her off, she shot him a filthy look, hoping it would send the message that he should find his entertainment elsewhere. Returning her gaze to her unwanted dinner date, she found he was no longer in the booth but instead kneeling on the floor beside the table. 

Completely forgetting her fake lack of English, Aggie, scrambled as far into the booth as she could manage, eyes wide. “What are you doing?”

As the man continued to throw compliments at the unreceptive woman that were better suited in a poorly written romantic drama, Theo took in how the brunette stared at the guy in all his hook-nosed glory, looking clearly pained. There was no interest in her expression and it reminded Theo of his own face when he was forced into meetings with his manager who ran a frustrated hand through his thinning hair and told Theo that nights of binge-drinking and falling out of clubs wasn’t the right image that he wanted to put across to the press – not when they already had one PR disaster begging to be fixed.

Upon catching the eye of the woman at the table, Theo opted to give her a sympathetic smile, one that was meant to convey that his heart was absolutely bleeding for her. It went amiss, overshadowed by the brunette glaring at him like he was some part of this charade.

It was one of the filthiest looks Theo had ever received and for a man who was so used to people excitedly screaming his name and begging for attention from him, it took him a few moments to recover. Blinking stupidly, he sat rigid in his seat, absolutely gobsmacked. There was a difference between a failure to recognise him and downright hatred, and he had no idea what had caused this woman to immediately detest him so much. Barely managing to pull himself together, he ducked down and, while hunched over, pulled the napkin dispenser closer to himself so he could peer at the reflective surface of the metal and check to see if there was any sort of disfiguration on his face that had provoked the heated glare from the woman.

Shocked to find that his nose had grown about three sizes since he’d last looked in the mirror, Theo cocked his head to the side and watched as his eye bulged wide when it took over the mirrored space where his nose had just been. Ah, it was simply an untrustworthy image – like those joke mirrors in the circus. Patting lightly at his face to make sure everything was still where it should be, he also ran his tongue along his teeth and was confident that everything was present and accounted for while also coming together to create a photogenic face film cameras adored. Relieved for only a few seconds, Theo was distracted by a commotion from across the aisle.

Head snapping up, he found himself staring at the same couple from before, only now the man was kneeling on the floor yelling a declaration of love that the woman was absolutely mortified by.

Theo gaped at the pair, as did the rest of the diner’s patrons. Whilst the man waxed lyrical about the woman’s eyes and how they shone as bright as the UV lights on his sunbed, Theo debated leaving him to it. After all, the woman had been all too rude to him – but it was clear she had wanted Theo to mind his own business and after being raised in the spotlight since childhood and having directors, managers, distant parents and business executives all telling him what to do, the man never said ‘no’ to a little rebelliousness. If the woman wanted Theo to ignore the spectacle in front of him, he was going to do the exact opposite – all while helping her out like the hero he was.

At once, he grasped dramatically and clutched at his chest. Grasping at a fork on the table, he bashed it loudly against the surface and pushed his chair back. The legs scraped loudly against the tiled floor of the diner, the floor which he immediately tumbled onto. Theo had stopped needing a stunt double since he was eighteen, so he had no qualms about throwing himself around the place and making a harsh collision with the ground.

As he writhed on the floor, spasming periodically, he strategically rolled over so his whole body crashed into the kneeling hook-nosed man, sending them both sprawling backwards.

“Help! I need help!” Theo rasped, clawing at his heart through the material of his t-shirt. Casting a glance up at the brown-haired woman, he paused for only a fraction of a second to send her a subtle wink before doubling over again and rolling his eyes back into his head.

“The light… I see it…” he croaked.

[realwxnderdog]

Were small town people completely and utterly backwards?

Theo had been in Cherry Grove for exactly one week, spending his nights on Penny’s sofa and his days wandering round the tiny and seemingly clueless town, and still no one had recognised him. Of course there had been double takes when he passed someone in the street but apparently the inhabitants of the sleepy village were happier to keep themselves to themselves than bother Theo for an autograph or photo. It was something he may have preferred when he was nursing a hangover or fending off a headache after a late night, but surely he wasn’t completely irrelevant just yet.

In fact, he should be in his prime. His publicist had told him that PR disasters could sometimes lead to good things. Attention was given to Theo and he could use it to spin a positive light on the situation at hand. But a fake accent that threatened his whole career was a dark cloud that lacked any and all opportunities for a more optimistic perspective and so he was forced to relocate to Cherry Grove where it seemed like nobody knew who he was bar Penny. And that was because the two of them had known each other for long enough to create a ‘zero flirtation’ boundary that Theo wasn’t willing to cross.

If he had to relent and admit that there were some things good about not being pestered to sign someone’s DVD cover, poster, marriage certificate or bare ass then Theo could be persuaded to say that he enjoyed being able to sit in a public space and calmly order food without being attacked from all angles.

Propping up the menu for one of the town’s diners in front of him, his eyes raked over his choices before he ultimately went with some sort of chicken dish. When the rest of the world disappointed Theo, fried chicken remained loyal. As the waitress bustled away to deliver his order to the chef – with only a mere glance in his direction – Theo was forced to sit and wait, stomach growling and pride smarted.

Nimble fingers folded and unfolded a napkin agitatedly as he sat there. When that became boring he scanned his surroundings instead, figuring it might be a good idea to really see, firsthand, how small town people lived. After all, who knew when he may have to play one of the poor bastards in a movie?

After skipping over an elderly couple enjoying lunch and a family of five all trying to desperately wipe ketchup off the face and hands of a small child, he eventually landed on what appeared to be some sort of date. Between a hook-nosed man and a striking woman.

As an actor, Theo knew all about body language and he could tell that the date wasn’t going as successfully and Mr Nose was thinking it was – not if the bored look on the woman’s face was anything to do by. Intrigued, and also amused, Theo leaned forward, propping his elbows on the table and strained to listen to what it was the guy was droning on about.

[troybolttn]

[pplayliszt]

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here’s to the fools who dream

[poetdameron-archive-deactivated]

I just try not to subscribe to the ways of celebrity. I’m not a celebrity, I’m a working actor. A lot of the events - the parties and the premieres that people go to to get noticed - I’m just not into. I’ll hang out with my friends, go see punk shows, read at home.