trouble will find me

You Were like Fresh Air || Gideon & Madeleine

xgideonmiles:

A break from work would probably do him a world of good, but he couldn’t bring himself to agree to it outright. He sighed, taking comfort in her presence, but then laughed aloud. “I assume we have similar thoughts on how to relax around here.” One hand began tracing up and down her spine, slowly and gently, as he continued to hold himself close to her with his other arm. “I can’t promise time off, but what if I don’t put in any overtime?" Any more time off than that would deter Sam from campaigning and possibly lead to who knows what because of Felix, and Gillian didn’t deserve that mess. "I’ll leave the firm no later than five every day and dedicate the remainder of my evenings to you.” He kissed her shoulder and added, “And to getting our house built in a reasonable amount of time.”

She shook her head. Him and that job were inseparable. Not that she could rightly judge him on that because she herself had been married to death for the past few years. “Well, I didn’t mean you had to dedicate them to me, but I do appreciate the thought. I just want you to take it easy on yourself. You need to relax and get your mind off some of the shit that happens in this town,” she said. Being here with him like this was one of her reprieves from her own mind, but she wanted him to do what was best for him to recoup. However, she would be more than happy to give him a fix of her if that’s what he desired.

You Were like Fresh Air || Gideon & Madeleine

xgideonmiles:

Gideon sighed contentedly at the feel off her fingers through his hair. “All I would have had was Sam, and he’s not been much help here lately.” He sighed. He was thrilled for his best friend, but he also missed him greatly. He had his parents, too, but he wasn’t sure how much of his mother’s odd passive aggressive coddling and his father’s offhanded comments about divorce and the churchhe could stomach. There was Gillian, too, but how much could he really burden his ex-sister-in-law. He secured his arms around her waist, pulling himself closer to her. “I don’t ever want to find out if you’re right about that.” His breathing remained irregular as he continued to fidget about. He’d really have to figure out the dream thing too. Somehow.

Thankfully, Richard had settled back in and was curled up against Mads’s legs. Part of her felt awful that the little dog shared a name with the town’s dead mayor, but it was too good of a name for a dachshund to bear in reality. An elaborate and adorable dick joke. “I’ve got you, and it’s okay. We’ll make it,” she said, her voice was low and comforting. It was the kind of voice she had used with her younger patients to calm their nerves. “You should take some time off from the office for a bit. You can just spend time with me here if you want. That way maybe you can relax a little.”

You Were like Fresh Air || Gideon & Madeleine

xgideonmiles:

“God,” he said with a huff. “I hope I never meet her because I have no idea if I’d be able to remain composed and filtered.” He shook his head out of frustration. He could feel the anxiety building back up, his chest tightening and his breaths laboring. Clearly he wasn’t as calm as he’d believed. He slouched forward a little, resting his head a on her shoulder. It wasn’t the most comfortable position, but her presence warmed and soothed him. “I was so bitter about my marriage being in shambles. I’d almost not gone I think because of that. I’m so glad I didn’t listen to myself. There’s no telling what I’d be like right now if you hadn’t helped keep me afloat."

She ran her fingers through his hair as he rested his head on her shoulder. “Hey, you’ll never have to meet her,” she said. She hoped that he would never have to meet her at least. She was going to try her damnedest to keep her two lives separate. She rested her chin atop Gideon’s head and continued to stroke his hair. “You’d have managed without me. You’re a little stronger than that. You’ve got to give yourself a little more credit than that. You’ve made it this far in your life. You had the strength to let go of someone that you loved so much that you married them. It’s not easy to do something like that.”

You Were like Fresh Air || Gideon & Madeleine

xgideonmiles:

He sat back and gently cupped her chin in one hand. “I will do everything in my power to keep that bad egg away.” He wasn’t sure how much he could actually do about that, but he wanted her to feel safe, happy, and comfortable. His lips grazed over hers. He didn’t think he’d ever get tired of hearing her say that or saying it himself. “And I love you.” He thought back to the wedding and pouting more than just a little bit. How or why she put up with him was a mystery. He sighed. “I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t asked about booze at that wedding ”

“Marigold is her own kind of creature. She’s one of the worst people I have ever met, and I have met some awful people,” Mads said with a grimace. Marigold was someone that Mads had once thought was simply born bad, but it wasn’t long til she realized her parents had cultivated a good deal of the vitriol in her. “Just me starting conversation terribly as per usual. Besides you’re interesting and you looked like a kicked puppy. I guess I was trying to bring you back to life.”

You Were like Fresh Air || Gideon & Madeleine

xgideonmiles:

Gideon grinned. Her rambling charmed him no matter how much she may have doubted herself. He briefly pulled away to kiss her forehead. “I trust you. There’s no need to explain yourself, and I don’t question you or your feelings.” He’d spend eternity assuring her, but he had a feeling that it wouldn’t take too long to achieve that. His hands came to rest on either side of her on the bed. "You helped me during what could have been the darkest time of my life, and I am forever grateful for that and forever in your debt.“ He sighed. He could verbalize feelings enough for the both of them dammit. Even if it sounded like vows or a proposal.

“You’re not indebted to me,” she replied, smiling softly. “If anything I am indebted to you. You know all my secrets about my past and no one else does. I just hope that one day my sister doesn’t show up on our doorstep or something.” The past was it’s own kind of anxiety that crept into her mind during silent moments. “I love you, and I am glad that I can be here for you and have been here for you. When I first saw you you were so broken that I would have done anything for you to be happy again.You deserve to be happy. I could tell that you were a good person despite all that’s happened to you. Sometimes staying good is difficult for people, but it’s not for you, and I love that.”

xgideonmiles:

“You deserve only the best, and that’s what I tend to deliver.”

“I like an assurance of quality.”

#c: gideon

You Were like Fresh Air || Gideon & Madeleine

xgideonmiles:

He stared at her as he processed her confession. When he met her at the wedding over a year ago and especially when his divorce was finalized, he expected a frivolous affair, no strings attached, yet it didn’t take long for that to go out the window. No matter how much he tried at first, no matter how much he wanted something casual after a failed marriage, she became much more than some rebound or friend with benefits. He glanced at Richard and then at the house plans rolled up on her dresser. It was about damn time, he thought to himself. “No,” he said slowly, “don’t apologize.” Of all the times she could have told him, he was certain right then was the best time. The dream had spooked him, and as air evaded him, he kept thinking about her, afraid of scaring her, leaving her. He laughed quietly at her joke as he leaned his forehead against hers again. “ I love you, too.” He drew in and released another deep breath, this time out of relief. “I’ll try my damnedest to stick around so that you can find a way to resurrect people, hopefully me.”

Madeleine pressed her lips together. There were parts of her that she still worried he would think were false, even when the only real falsehood was her name. He was the one person in the whole town that knew her past and she wanted to hold on to him. She felt an ease when he finally said it back. She wasn’t the sort of person who said I love you first. Mads was far more careful than that, but the moment had overtaken her. His forehead against hers made her feel a little more sturdy than she had previously. “I really am not good at this stuff, but I think you need to know my feelings are the most genuine. It’s difficult for me to verbalize it sometimes, but I don’t want you to question it.”

You Were like Fresh Air || Gideon & Madeleine

xgideonmiles:

Gideon’s eyes remained closed, not frustrated but possibly annoyed that he couldn’t translate what he was trying to say or understand what was going on in general. A panic attack made a ton of sense, but something within him told him it wasn’t that simple, not when he wasn’t close to Warren and not when he knew so little about his uncle. As Madeleine rambled, he was increasingly grateful she was wanting to make him comfortable, at ease, and physically well. God knows Rosemary wouldn’t have been so attentive, or so he was convinced. Did she say what he thought she said? His eyes opened, and he pulled back to look at her. “What?” He searched her expression for confirmation. He needed to hear her say it. Again anyway.

She thought maybe when she said it he wouldn’t notice it at all, but she was never that lucky. Oh well. Sometimes you had to face your feelings head on. “I said I love you,” she said, her voice low and serious. “It’s probably the worst time for me to say that, but all the talk of death kind of causes those things to spill out. I know I’m not good at the fluffy and mushy stuff sometimes, but I do care about you very deeply. I want to you to be okay because I am a selfish bitch and I love you. I want you around for a long time or at least until I figure out the resurrection thing because then I can take it all into my own hands.” She hoped that her tacked on joke didn’t seem too crass.

#aintnogravestart #aintnograveopen

“I know I joke about needing the business a lot, but I really do not like it when I actually have business.”

You Were like Fresh Air || Gideon & Madeleine

xgideonmiles:

Gideon frowned, the lines in his forehead creasing as he did. “I–I have had panic attacks before, and I think it’s more complicated than that,” he said as he closed his eyes. He knew she cared and wanted him to be okay, and he must sound insane, so maybe she’d want to put house plans on hold until he had some sort of psych evaluation and some therapy. Maybe he’d have a panic attack from this new string of associated thoughts. “I know my uncle was going to propose to his girlfriend sometime soon. I think maybe,” he said slowly, “she was the blonde I saw, and the less I could breathe, the more terrified I became.” He didn’t want to leave anything unfinished nor cause anyone grief his presence couldn’t fix.

Madeleine wanted there to be a plausible and easy to remedy explanation for this. There had to be one. “It was a panic attack. I promise,” she said, still counting the beats of his heart. “You’re just shaken up by all that’s been happening and who wouldn’t be?” Mads learned that no one ever got used to death, just that the coping became easier with time to an extent. “I’m here and you have me and I love you and if you absolutely need to go get checked out physically in the morning or if you want me to do it...” She trailed off and inhaled deeply. “I just want you to know that you are okay.”

You Were like Fresh Air || Gideon & Madeleine

xgideonmiles:

“I–” He stopped talking and pursed his lips, pondering her question. He lowered his hands to take hold of free one. Her presence was warm and calming to him, and he wanted to try returning the favor and put her mind at ease. He owed that to her. “I don’t know,” he said quietly, staring at their hands. “One second I was picturing Warren’s death, and the next it was like I was the one being suffocated instead.” He closed his eyes as he drew in a deep breath. Should he tell her? Would she think it was just a coincidence or that he was crazy? He squeezed her hand in his. This was Madeleine. If anyone would understand, it was her, right? “Except I don’t think it was actually me,” he added. “Everything was dated, and there was a blonde next to me, and I’m pretty sure that’s how my great uncle died.”

“The stress must have caused you to make that connection, honey,” she said. Her voice sounded uncharacteristically soft. “It was just a night terror and you had a panic attack.” She was sure that the answer was as simple as she phrased it, but she wasn’t sure if it truly was. She just knew that she wanted him to be okay. “One reminded you of the other and you conjured up the scenario in your mind and you thought you were suffocating or something like that. It happens. Dreams can be amazingly vivid like that. Do you feel like you need to go to the hospital or anything because if you still don’t feel right you can go and get everything checked out.” She knew that she was rambling, but she was visibly shaken by the event.