kinesis

hard to be soft, tough to be tender

[thelovejournals]

I think some people are just inexplicably bonded. Drawn by forces beyond their own comprehension, they have no choice but to gravitate toward one another. Destined by fate to keep crossing paths until they finally get it right.

L.B. Simmons (via wordsnquotes)

[swanqueensails-deactivated20240]

Alice Quinn Appreciation Week  |  Day 2 - Favorite Color ↳  Black - What if there is no best path? Huh? I don’t know. All I know is the one I’m on is a bad one. And I’m stepping off.

[rebeccaxdavenport]

tonimonroe​:

I love you. The words had been exchanged in sweet whispers by the two women higher than Antonia could count. Yet, she could remember each one. She cherished all of them. Hearing it again after all this time had Toni’s heart exploding. Toni hadn’t ever pictured herself as the type to fall madly in love with someone. Becca came along like a tidal wave, crashing over everything Toni thought she knew about herself. She had loved Becca from the moment she saw her. A hetero-normative cliche, sure, until Toni had seen the blonde and her heart stopped. Nothing else in the world existed but Becca. Losing her had been devastating for Toni, no matter how much of a brave face she had put on for the past six months. She had dreamed of this moment practically every night since. 

Was it a risk? Absolutely. But the only time Toni would ever take a risk was when Becca was holding her hand. No matter how many times Becca came and went from her life, Toni would always choose her. Rebecca Davenport was a risk that she was willing to take. Toni was positive that she would never meet another woman like Becca. There was a reason they kept coming back to each other. In a universe of infinite possibilities, where UFOs crash landed from the sky, there was no one else for Toni. There never had been.

Toni’s heart continued to thud in her chest. Becca was saying all the right things. She was keenly aware of the moment slipping through her hands with each second that ticked past. She couldn’t let that happen. She couldn’t let Becca slip away from her again. The words got lodged in Toni’s throat, tangled with the fears of saying the wrong thing. She’d had enough of talking. Toni registered that Becca was still speaking, and the moment she stopped, Toni surged forward and captured Becca’s lips in a kiss. Colors exploded behind Toni’s closed eyelids. Heaven, that was the only thing Toni could compare it to. It felt like coming home. She could feel her body trembling like a leaf as she wound her arms around Becca’s waist, tugging the smaller woman into her lap. It had been six terrible months without her. Now, every inch of space between them felt like too much. 

“I’m never letting you fuckin’ go again,” she ground out breathlessly between kisses.

The moment Toni kissed her, Becca felt like the whole world made sense again. No one felt as good or as natural as Toni did, holding Becca in her loving arms to remind her she always had a place where she belonged. She immediately wanted to be closer, desperate fingers finding Toni’s hair, holding her there as if she was the one at risk of running away. Becca wanted nothing more than to be in Toni’s presence forever, to finally allow herself to be happy with the one person who actually saw her, her real self. The one that liked pretending not to laugh at stupid jokes, to try new things, to not take herself so seriously all the time. Toni gave her that freedom; the space to make mistakes, to be flawed, to be vulnerable and allow someone else to take control for once. She liked that in Toni; she loved it. Their nights and days and moments in between changed her, more than she was ready to admit in the past to herself or to anyone else, but walking away from her girlfriend that day was the biggest mistake she’d ever made, and that memory alone was scarier than anything she’d face with this woman by her side. It was an undeniable truth. “I’m never leaving you again. Ever. I swear.” And it was true. The other probably knew it based on how predictable Becca could be, but she already packed a bag and had it in the backseat of her car, a few outfits, toiletries and other things inside so she could stay for a few days, maybe longer. It was like escaping her life to find her true self, her true happiness, except she wouldn’t have to keep running anymore, she could just take it freely and allow it to overwhelm every aspect of her being. Toni truly was the most beautiful being she’d ever laid eyes on, ever allowed to take up space in the parts of her mind that wanted to fall in love and to be loved in return. She was warm embraces, joy and laughter, the grace and humility that comes with putting other people before herself. Becca couldn’t understand why someone as good and wonderful as Antonia Monroe wanted anything to do with someone like her, but it wasn’t her place to try and answer that question, a conclusion that took her far, far too long to reach. In this moment, Becca was just a woman in love with another, guilty and ashamed of her own cowardice, trying her best to make up for the time they were apart. She was going to do everything she could to make things right to the beautiful nurse at the local hospital, who she bonded with over science and their interests in nerd topics, and got swept away by her beautiful heart. Becca paused her lips and moved her mouth only a few inches back, pressing her forehead to Toni’s, eyes closed and her heart feeling like it was about to beat out of her chest. “I know it’s stupid, but you’re the greatest thing to ever happen to me. I can’t even imagine myself with anyone else. I’d be alone; I wouldn’t make it, not after meeting you. And while I haven’t given you a reason to trust me, I swear I will never, ever do anything to hurt you that way ever again. I’d rather die.” She ran her fingers through those beautiful brown curls, something she’d done a million times before, and would continue to do as long as she was allowed, as long as Toni would have her. “I love you so much.” 

[rebeccaxdavenport]

ziggyonthewire​:

He couldn’t tell if he liked Roswell or not, however he did have the advantage of having lived in a state with similar weather patterns, so Ziggy wasn’t too put off by the fact that it was November and it was nearly 80 degrees.  Admittedly, he was loitering outside of the Crash Down, smoking a cigarette and trying to figure out if it would be worth it to try to get a job while he was here, when his slouched position caused him to trip someone a little.  While it was technically his fault, he opted to roll his eyes anyway.

“Sorry - do you know if anywhere good is hiring?”

@roswellstarters​

Becca clenched her jaw the moment she stumbled, turning on her heels ready to rip whoever decided to trip her to shreds. “Excuse you, you fucking -- Oh. Ziggy.” She huffed a breath and gave him a once over, resulting in an eye roll. “Do you really think harassing strangers is gonna get you a job? You look like a creep. Anyway, I wouldn’t know, I have a career. I’m sure the grease monkeys are always hiring, though I can’t say if it would be any good. Do you at least know how to hold a wrench?” 

[rebeccaxdavenport]

mcstwantd​:

“I don’t take pictures of myself,” Adrienne hummed, giving a brief shake of her head on instinct. Her fascination with taking pictures was focused solely on others, and not herself. “Anyone who sees me in them, that’s reserved solely for the bedroom. The backyard, however… I’ve got a little video walkthrough. Average pictures didn’t do it justice, so.” She pulled out her phone, already beginning to unlock it to show the blonde the video she’d done. The decorations she had in her backyard were certainly more horror-centric than the average person’s Halloween display, but she liked going all out when it came to the holidays - and that included making Halloween as dark as possible. A graveyard a thousand times more realistic than any normal display, the bloody butcher shop and the mad scientist’s lab, complete with a human trial were all set up in her backyard, and that didn’t even mention the basement, set up to look like some sort of haunted sunken ship. If anyone could say anything about Adrienne, it was that she never did anything halfway. “This year was superhero logos. I like keeping the front safe for kids to come trick-or-treating, while the back is for the… more mature. And, then, of course, the very last one was the obligatory ‘Happy Halloween’ with a bat, cobwebs, and full moon incorporated within it. It was a lot of work, but I do genuinely enjoy doing all of it.”

Becca raised her brows as she watched the video, surprised to see an actual horror display instead of a kitschy Halloween aesthetic that was safe for general consumption. That was the thing she liked to see around Halloween, though her current costume didn’t reflect that. She loved nothing more than a good scary, horrifying display, or a nice horror movie to add to the spirit of the season. “I must say, I’m impressed by what you’ve managed to put together. Do you decorate professionally? You should consider it. You’d make a killing. How long did this take you? Surely you must’ve spent a lot of money too.” She wanted to see the whole thing for herself, to see the blood and gore up close. No one had ever put something so complex together that she’d witnessed before. “Again, I’m quite impressed -- and I don’t say that unless I mean it. Lux and I hired a team to make our home look a bit festive, but now I’m considering taking a new approach next year. Maybe I’ll pay extra for a zombie Santa Claus display this December to scare the Johnsons and their friends. Wouldn’t that be fun?”

[rebeccaxdavenport]

gunnerissdunn​:

Her question had Gunner pausing, eyebrows furrowing together just a touch as he gave it an honest thought. “I don’t know. I mean… I just kinda assumed it came with the athlete thing. I feel like everyone I knew ate a lot,” he mutters, but even as he says it, he knows it’s a lie. Despite the fact that he’d told himself for as long as he remembered that there was something different about him, he’d also told himself that it was a burden he carried alone. That no one else could understand it. Every broken desk, glass, car, everything he’d ever done - including that time he’d punched a hole through the side of his oven because he’d gotten mad in the kitchen - had just been because he was weird. Because there was something wrong with him. He’d believed it his entire life, and he found it hard to believe otherwise now. “Naturally… in a way.” He’s skirting around an answer again, because up until that point, he’d only said things that seemed like common sense to him - but this… The fact that he’d spent his entire life mirroring the actions of others to make himself fit in, to the point that he was almost the amalgamation of every person he’d ever observed, felt like something he shouldn’t say. Shouldn’t admit to out loud. “I guess you could say it comes naturally to me.” As naturally as putting on a fake personality could ever be, at least.

Becca quickly shook her head as Gunner tried find logic in his condition, not knowing that he was sitting before a full alien with powers of her own, but hers were more controlled. She knew something was different about Gunner the first time she saw him explode, his temper burning and raging like a volcanic eruption, leaving damage and destruction in his wake unlike anything she’d ever seen before. Becca wasn’t scared, not even a little bit, given her own power and her tendency to lose herself in rage and fire in a similar manner. “I’ll let you think about it, for now, but I think this is something we should probably discuss in private.” She glanced around the nearly empty cafe for the first time in a while, making sure no one was listening in too closely. “We both know that isn’t the case, not really,” Becca noted with a dry laugh, playing with the straw of her lukewarm drink, swirling the liquid just to do something with her hands. “You’ve had media training, surely, but we’ll call it a natural skill for now. You know I’d never reveal your true identity, Clark. Though I think you’re more of a Banner, but that’s putting too fine of a point on things.” 

[rebeccaxdavenport]

luxthr3n​:

“But this world is filled with living things, Becca. I know for a fact that if I’m not thinking about it, I can still sap up whatever life force I need if it was something mandatory my body needed. I’m a parasite; you’ve called me one before but it’s true. Sure, I can make myself pretty if I’m feeling a bit dull at the moment but when I’m close to dying?  I’d probably kill a forest to make sure my heart still beats properly without even thinking about it.” He gently scooted the kitty further on the bed before he slung his suitcase onto the empty spot and continued to pack. Rebecca’s comment about his taste in men had him rolling his eyes, much like she may have predicted. “You’re telling me that a guy I used for my own personal pleasure is a creep?” He scoffed, tucking his toothbrush and toothpaste back into its ziploc baggie, “Please, I’ve been with worse, you’ve just never seen it before. LA’s a breed ground for narcissistic assholes who use their dicks to climb the social ladder, at least truckers here won’t post a picture of me sleeping on their bed for clout.” 

She sighed and shook her head, tired of the endless debate regarding Lux’s ability to defeat death. Neither one of them had proof, not really, but Becca had research on her side at least. The odds weren’t good, and she was tired of trying to justify why he should value his own life, his own safety. “Yes, I absolutely am. Your motivations don’t overshadow his, no matter how many times you tell me it’s for your own satisfaction too. That doesn’t change the fact that a lot of the men you like to spend time with are lowlifes, predators, and creeps. They see you, a pretty, young-looking man, and they get excited about that. Not just because you’re attractive, but because they’re sick individuals and they like their fun to be ‘barely legal’. I don’t understand why this doesn’t register with you.” She crossed her arms over her chest and huffed, a surefire sign Becca was getting irritated. “You’re proving me right, you know that, don’t you? Telling me you’ve been with worse only makes me more concerned. Do you know how many sex workers in general go missing at truck stops, how traffickers use freights to travel between states and countries? You’re one bad night away from becoming a true crime podcast episode, Lux, and that often keeps me awake at night. You just don’t fucking get it.” 

[rebeccaxdavenport]

orionxstardust​:

Orion just let out a soft hum, head cocking to the side slightly.  “So am I; probably why we’re so drawn to each other, though I didn’t really even know who he was when he texted me, so it wasn’t intentional, though I’m sure you don’t care.  Id’ have to say as far as drugs go, weed isn’t that bad of a vice to be feeding into, addict or not.”  His slightly sorry expression shifted to one of boredom however, and he debated even faking a yawn.  “Mm, yes, all very mean and painful insults; glad to see I really got you in the spirit of the season,”  He’d heard just about everything in the book, more often than not from his own father, so honestly nothing Rebecca said phased him at all.  He did feel a little guilty about Lux, though it was true that he had no idea when the two met up.  “Well, I’ve got to go; being a losery bum is a very demanding life, and I really should get on with it.  Who else will take up the space outside of establishments?”

“He already told me what happened, and you’re correct that I don’t care. About you, that is. I care about my brother who actually has talent and promise, not you. You’re a fry cook. A nobody. You say it wasn’t intentional but you surely jumped at the opportunity to share, didn’t you? Never stopped to think about the type of mindset a person must be in if they’re texting random numbers looking for drugs. Running out of loser friends to waste your life with? Do us both a favor and leave Lux alone before I have to come find you again, ‘kay?” Becca gave her best sarcastic smile, brushing her hair over her shoulder again as she let out a bored sigh. She nearly pitied Orion and his pathetic life, but she had no time for adult children and their charity cases. She’d leave that to whichever organization she donated to for the tax write-off. “Oh, see, you haven’t done anything. We just haven’t had the pleasure of running into each other for a while. Today just happened to be your lucky day. How nice.” Her signature smirk remained on her lips as Orion excused himself, though she wasn’t actually paying much attention anymore. She focused her gaze on the files in her arms until the other began to walk away. “Bye honey! Don’t forget to stop by the house for your weekly spraying with the garden hose! Those fleas won’t rid themselves!”  

[rebeccaxdavenport]

bartxsz​:

-

“Well, don’t tell anyone, but it is part of the ship that crashed back in 1947. I was tasked to pick up the remaining pieces of the ship, which is why I work at the ranch”, ha admitted as he looked at the crystal, “crystals like this one contain an element that help power up the communication tools we use”, Bartosz explained, but of course he let aside the fact that before submitting this piece, he was going to try helping a friend with it, might get some better results. “Sure thing, I can do that! But, please… make yourself comfortable, I will be right back”, he said happily and halfway to the kitchen, he turned around, “oh, could you open the window next to the Monstera? Since we are going out I wanna leave the way open for Alfred and Petunia”, he replied as he head into the kitchen to get her drink and mix it appropriately

                      “Here you go”, he replied after coming back with the juice.

Becca wouldn’t hesitate to keep such sensitive and valuable information to herself, eyebrows raised in visible surprise. “How does the ranch come into play? Are there pieces on the land somewhere? I never knew any of this.” It wasn’t a surprise, given that she and her younger brother didn’t actually know their planetary origins and had no connection to anyone outside of Earth. Bart was a breath of fresh air in that sense, bringing more knowledge of the Solar System than Becca could ever ask for and she would be forever grateful. Becca was on her way to take a seat on the couch when Bart spoke up again, a small sigh leaving her lips as she approached the window to open it as requested. “Are we going out?” She asked with a curious expression, finally taking a seat on the other’s couch when he returned with her drink. “Where exactly will we be going? You haven’t even given me a tour of your apartment yet. I find your plant collection...intriguing.” 

[rebeccaxdavenport]

starryleo​:

-

“Ohmygod, what is your deal?” he hisses, rubbing petulantly at where the cart had hit his hip. “Never really believed that thing about short people being full of evil, but maybe the internet was right…” he added under his breath, hastily pulling his cart out of reach. 

‘You have no idea what my diet consists of, mean dwarf. And my name is Leo, not Leon!” He’s not a confrontational person, but he’s pretty proud of himself for managing to call her a name without crying or stuttering. 

“I’m not nice, that’s what.” Becca scoffed at the mention of her height, stepping away from the cart itself and approaching the male personally. “What did you just call me? Bitch, I am 5′5 in these heels, thank you very much. I’m not a dwarf, but you certainly are stupid. My name is Rebecca, and you’d be smart to watch your mouth before I make you regret it. This is fun for me, Leon. Got any more stupid things to say?” 

[rebeccaxdavenport]

I've been running around in circles Pretending to be myself Why would somebody do this on purpose When they could do something else? Took a tour to see the stars But they weren't out tonight So I wished hard on a Chinese satellite I want to believe Instead, I look at the sky and I feel nothing You know I hate to be alone I want to be wrong You were screamin' at the Evangelicals They were screamin' right back from what I remember When you said I will never be your vegetable Because I think when you're gone, it's forever But you know I'd stand on the corner Embarrassed with a picket sign If it meant I would see you when I die Sometimes, when I can't sleep It's just a matter of time before I'm hearing things Swore I could feel you through the walls But that's impossible I want to believe That if I go outside I'll see a tractor beam Coming to take me to where I'm from I want to go home

[korean-batman]

[rebeccaxdavenport]

@becca_davenport: bad bitch hours.

[rebeccaxdavenport]

what was your superlative in high school?

Most likely to succeed, of course. And they were correct.

[rebeccaxdavenport]

orionxstardust​:

“Yeah, but if I never bothered you, you’d probably spend most of your day not talking to a single soul,” Orion gave her a bemused smile, clearly unphased by any and all insults thrown his way.  “I like your brother a lot more; he’s much more fun, but I can’t see you two exactly getting along all that well, since he’s way more relaxed than you are.”

“What makes you think I want to speak to anyone? Or that I care about what you think of me? Idiot. I’m not desperate for connection like you are.” She scoffed, giving Orion a disapproving once-over. “Ah, yes. He told me about your little meetup. Are you so desperate for friends that you have to offer them drugs? Lux is an addict, in case you didn’t realize, so fuck you for feeding his addiction with your own pathetic vices. I’m sure his stomach will churn when I tell him how fond you are of him after your time at the bowling alley. You know nothing about me, or him for that matter. That’s your drugged up hindsight making things nicer than they really were.” She stepped closer, glaring at him as she did so, hoping every word sank in deep. “You’re wrong though, about me. I’m more relaxed than you think, I’m just mean and proud of it. I don’t like you, so I tell you that to your face, and I do it easily. Nice try though. Maybe next time you can rub three brain cells together to come up with something accurate. Probably not, given you’re probably so high on a regular basis that your brain looks like a well-done steak. What’s it like being a bum destined to be nothing more than a loser?” 

[rebeccaxdavenport]

bartxsz​:

He closed the door behind and he was about to throw out all of the etiquette about asking if she wanted anything to eat or drink when she held out the crystal that glowed softly in a pale pink light. “Becca, thank you so much!”, he grinned even more and reached for the crystal, grabbing it carefully before surrounding the girl with an arm and squeezing her in a quick hug, eyes still on the little relic; he wasn’t even upset any longer with Lux about it, Bart was too glad about having it back in his hands where it could be kept safely. “I will use it and then report it back to the Council— oh, I am so rude, do you want anything to drink or eat?”

“You’re very welcome.” She was grateful to be spared one of Bart’s bear hugs, delicately placing her hand on his back to show some affection in return. “I don’t think you ever told me what the crystal does. Why is it so special to you? And -- do you have anything like cranberry juice? I’ll take half a glass of that filled the rest of the way with water. If not, just ice water is fine.” She was nothing if not complex and particular regarding what she put into her body, even if it inconvenienced her friends and hosts. Bart was always so accommodating, so she didn’t feel bad about asking for things she wanted.

[rebeccaxdavenport]

ledavalenti​:

-

now that was something she could drink to . the cage of heterosexuality was something leda thankfully wasn’t a part of , and she would never be a part of as long as she lived – as far as she was concerned love was love and the rest was just plumbing , although saying that there was definitely something inherently wrong with the entire male population , in her eyes anyway . “ leading me like a lamb to the slaughter , “ the woman tutted and shook her head , turning to the blonde as they gazed upon the rows of corn towering above both heads . even with heels there was no hope of glancing over and figuring a way out . it was trial and error , the luck of the draw , just how she liked it . “ – and what do you expect to do with your almighty inflatable hammer , harley ?? you’re not gonna squeak the monsters to death . ooh , god forbid , “ chuckling , leda tugged down the goggle accessory of her outfit and fixed the alignment of her feline ears , setting off into the labyrinth to lead the expedition .

Becca rolled her eyes and sighed, lifting the mallet from her shoulder to show Leda its weight in her hands. Her shoulder was going to be unbelievably sore for a few days, but the look was worth the pain. “Once again, you underestimate me. This mallet is very much real, and very much a solid weapon if necessary. I couldn’t do Harley justice if I walked around with some blow-up toy. I’d be cursed to speak in her annoying tone of voice for the rest of my natural life.” She followed Leda closely behind, annoying herself every time she unintentionally jumped or gasped at one of the jumpscares. Leda seemed to have nerves of steel, simply pausing her steps every time an actor or figurine leaped out of the shadows at them. Becca greatly respected that. “So, do you have a plan, or are you walking around aimlessly? The scares are somewhat entertaining, but we have to get out of here at some point.”

[rebeccaxdavenport]

wyliefyfe​:

~

Wylie gave a playful roll of her eyes, her hand tapping the cork to the wine bottle back into the opening before she grabbed her own glass, following the other towards the living room. “So maybe I seek to find excitement in the mundane things,” she murmured, curling herself up on the little loveseat that hardly matched anything around it, but fit in just the same. Her toes had been cold from padding around on the hardwood floors in her bare feet, the New Mexico air finally starting to cool down and leaving the apartment at the perfect temperature. “The radio life is the same as it always is. I feel like I’m constantly wrangling different boys in, and when I’m not wrangling them in, I’m being threatened to have my office moved because I, god forbid, get along with my coworkers and disturb the peace every now and then. It’s like they want us to stare blankly at the walls all damn day and hate our lives.” She couldn’t help but take a long sip of wine then, feeling as it coursed through her, helping to relax her muscles. “I think you should take a vacation, personally. Take a vacation, and at least get that massage; I’m not sure how achievable the other things are, or else I’d tell you to do that, too.”

“Excitement in mundane things? That’s an oxymoron,” Becca snorted, raising her brows over her glass, keeping her eyes on Wylie as she took a sip. “Wrangling them in? They can’t keep themselves together in order to be professional? God -- I’d rather die.” Becca knew Wylie was right about the vacation, but where would she even go? The last thing she wanted to do was travel someplace alone, sitting around a luxurious hotel room by herself. She’d want a companion of some kind to share the moments with her, and maybe, get Becca to try something new for once. “I’ll probably schedule the massage for sometime soon -- you could tag along, if you want. I’ll treat of course. I need a break from...Lux and the other men in this town, to be honest with you.  I’ll never understand how I’m not a full-on lesbian. It just doesn’t make sense.” Becca felt comfortable enough with the other woman to share her true thoughts and feelings, setting down her steel exterior for a while to enjoy their time together. “Though he does count as a man, tell me about your Laurie situation. Is he gay or are you both just too dumb to figure it out? I’ve never encountered opposite sex roommates who aren’t both gay or related, that haven’t had some sort of attraction to each other, friends or not. Is there someone else?”