Monday, May 23th 2022
Today I tried to hold your hand and it felt different… By now I probably got used to your aloofness but I would say even more I think in fact now I’ve been infected. Now I no longer want you (or the idea of you) I want whoever is going to treat me nicely and delight me with respect.
Whoever is willing to love me accepting the caos of me, those are the ones who I will invest my time, energy and loyalty into.
Sometimes it feels like you’re trying but in the same way as you, not once but several times, made me feel I wasn’t enough for you, now you’re no longer enough for me. I finally outgrown this cicle of my life and feel more confident and free. In the other hand I must admit is hard letting you go, all the things I felt for you - and with you - were magical and I still sometimes get stuck over and over again at that feeling not able to continue knowing dam well I woke up from the dream and I am in fact alone in this.
You helped me become a woman. With you I’ve learned something I’ve always struggled with which is to put myself first otherwise I would never be the fist at anything… Definitely not in your life. Besides everything we have been through I have no regrets because I know in the end of the day I tried. Thanks for the good moments and thanks for the lessons but now is time to move forward, now has come the time when I can say: I’ve loved you.














