zeno

21 ● they/them ● ace ● artist ● reader ● poet

[redandgraytogether]

[redandgraytogether]

As of today, my foot is officially healed, so I will be taking my second first steps this incoming week.

And it'so hot and it so sweet and i can carefully walk into the garden for an evening read*

*Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer

[redandgraytogether]

When the trials are over (exams) and i am reborn again (broken foot no longer broken) every little thing will be drunk to the last drop

[linhzard]

they are like cats in the sun

[redandgraytogether]

Jan Preisler – Black Lake (1904)

[redandgraytogether]

back and front

[redandgraytogether]

it was new year's many years back, it was a boy's apartment, a friend of a boyfriend of my best friend, boy party, sleepover, alcohol, freezing on a balcony for every smoke. don't talk very much with strangers, but one of them got close and i enjoyed it, the attention, the tenderness, the drunkness, i leaned my head on his chest and got sleepy. then everyone left the room and i jumped up, started talking again, sat at a table for the rest of the night. after hours of nothing i grabbed my sleeping pad and called my dad. When i was telling her smiley goodbyes at the door she said "i'm worried about you." she didn't understand and i didn't understand but i felt wronged and angry as i was running down the stairs and that's all i see now as i'm remembering it, many flights of staris with the lights off. it was snowing heavily. i think about it all the time.

[redandgraytogether]

few things caused me as much anxiety as spin the bottle in middle school

[fashionweekhighlights]

Maison Margiela AW26 RTW Look 3

Photography: Maison Margiela

[redandgraytogether]

I always have the worst reaction when people assume that we are a thing. Craving closeness takes me to the narrow spaces which i don't even know i run from until i am running. Cross a line, run away, repeat. Four flights of stairs fly by as i get to the car, dad is picking me up.

It's looks and hand holding and quiet kisses on shoulders you didn't notice and then the others start to notice and i wanna die. I wanna be so far from you that nobody but you can calm me down and reasure me that it's fine and questions don't matter and your day was okay what about mine? I got an eybrow piercing, went there alone for the first time. Then i take off my bulky rings in my pocket, our fingers intertwine and it's not implying anything and i don't feel sick.

Always the boundary pusher, the rings off taker, the needy one, the one who got us here, to this point that everyone can see and tell. Please don't meet me closer than in the middle. I'm not more than i do.

[redandgraytogether]

Everything just is and is and is and is and is and is.

[redandgraytogether]

sometimes i feel like people don't deserve to know things about me, sometimes even those i hold close. i sit on my thoughts, desires and pains like a dragon on gold

[pastart]

Butu Billikhodze (2021)

[redandgraytogether]

first was the egg

[redandgraytogether]

29.12.25 i miss this bare wiry winter

[redalader]

adam: do you think this old coca-cola shirt is okay to wear to the reading?

gansey: don't worry no one will remember what you are wearing!

[redandgraytogether]

I remember

[redandgraytogether]

Reading Midnight Sun right now, page 459 out of 756. And it's kanda sorta the most tedious reading experience ever, wow. My eyes are glazing over just opening it and I swear it's not a hate read. I was really looking forward to this book, it's cool to be in Edward head for a bit, to take his mysteious mask off, but he's repeating himself so much and we already know a lot of the information that are said. I honestly don't know what I was expecting. It makes sence to give fans a thick book after years of no new content. And it's probably that repetitive because that's whats it's like to be in edward's mind, he must constantly worry about the same things, obsessing over bella, obsessing over being a vampire. It can be played of as intentional. But I still feel like a lot could've been cut, everything feels so stretched out and I want it to be OVER SO BADLY. The "thriller ending" of Twilight is my least favourite part of the story, so I was expecting the same thing here, little did I know what a drag it will be to even get there