To Be Neutral...

{Indie RP blog for Shaman King / Namari. If you want to RP with me, either message me or tag me in a starter! My rules page is the fourth roman numeral, just above the relationships page.}

[shiratori-fengbao]

{ +3 } have appeared.

[shiratori-fengbao]

[ ✮ ] “…You know, you’re much nicer like this Namari.” Yoh pointed out after a moment of silence. “I’m surprised. You seemed much meaner the first time we met. But you’re actually really nice to talk to.”

He had expected the Patch to be less like Silva and more like Nichrome, but found himself pleasantly surprised. They even seemed to share similar views about the Shaman Fight.

[reddesertpatch]

"Meaner... I think far too much was happening at that point for any side to get along. Truthfully, by the time we all parted ways, I was becoming irritated. I've heard the deal on what happened with Nichrome, and when you told me I had taken Hao's side, I was beginning to think you were trying to find some excuse to fight us out of some grudge. Right now, everyone is tense. It seems what I thought about you, you also thought about me."

But to Namari, of course he seemed different now. In a situation that wasn't leaving everyone uptight and cautious, he was more casual. The Officials were all different people behind closed doors than that of what they were on duty. It was worse in that aspect for some than others, but Namari generally tried to stay the same. It was getting difficult now, and problems were increasing. If there was at least a chance that he could be sure someone would see that they weren't all dark, scheming liars, he would see to it that that chance was well used.

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

No one has the right to judge you because no one really knows what you’ve been through. They may have heard your stories but they didn’t feel what you have felt in your heart.

Unknown (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[reddesertpatch]

Nonsexual acts of Intimacy - Select from the following for my muse to respond to...

♔ : Finding your muse wearing their clothes

♕: Holding hands

♖: Having their hair washed by your muse

♗: Your muse falling asleep with their head in my muse's lap.

♘: Cuddling in a blanket fort

♙: Sharing a bed

♚: Head scratches

♛: Sharing a dessert

♜: Shoulder rubs

♝: Reading a book together

♞: Caring for each other while ill (specify which party is which)

♟: Patching up a wound

♤: Taking a bath together

♧: Your muse playing with their hair

♡: Accidentally falling asleep together

♢: Forehead or cheek kisses

♠: Your muse adjusting their jewelry/neck tie/ etc.

♣: Back scratches

♥: Your muse crying about something

♦: Slow dancing

[argentshaman]

Unfair? What do any of them know about fairness!? Silva finds himself closing in on the other, raising his voice. He’s become completely incensed with frightening speed, brow wrinkling in fury.

"Don’t you see that it’s already unfair!? We’re letting countless Shaman run to their deaths, knowing full well that they don’t stand a chance against power like that!” The male pauses briefly, and for a moment it seems as though his sudden outburst had surprised even himself, but he doesn’t stop there.

"We let one of our own go out of line all those years ago, and now it’s coming back to haunt us! In failing to properly guard the Spirit of Fire the last time around, we allowed the playing field for the next tournament to become uneven - we practically guaranteed a loss of life on such a massive scale that our entire tribe may as well be branded monsters alongside scum like Hao!”

What in the Heavens is he doing? If he carries on like this, he may very well get into trouble again—

No. Forget holding back on anything; he’s sick and tired of keeping his feelings bottled up. Continuing on like that is only going to drive him crazy in the long run.

"You might have been prepared to just stand around and watch things progress on the sidelines, but I wasn’t about to let that traitor get away with what he’d done. I did what I felt as though I had to do.”

Only then does he start to find some semblance of calm, shoulders dropping as he exhales.

"Maybe it’s different for you. You didn’t have to grow up in a family that constantly felt as though it were paying for his actions. You had the luxury of being distant from it, even in our little tribe. He’s not your problem, after all; he’s just a story from all those generations ago, some sort of legend that you’ve all detached yourselves from in your happy little world of so-called neutrality.”

He manages a quiet laugh, truthfully rather envious of his fellow Patch. None of them realise just how easy they have it, do they?

"I’ve never had that luxury, Namari. I’ve always been different — felt different, too — right from the moment I was born.”

At times, those differences were painfully obvious. Chrom’s death was a particular instance that came to mind - he’d never felt more distant from the others than he had at that time, and boy did it hurt. “I’m only here out of necessity, and I know that full well. There’s not a single doubt in my mind that my bloodline wouldn’t exist were it not for the tribes’ need for Patch Priests.”

Sometimes I wonder if some of you would even be my friends and family, if not for the fact that we’re forced to serve alongside one another. 

Whilst Silva cannot bring himself to say it, he can’t help but wonder these things. Were they all just waiting for him to screw up somewhere along the lines? Has he ever held their complete trust?

"—So don’t you talk to me about what’s fair and what’s not. Don’t even dare.”

[reddesertpatch]

"Excuse me? Did you not just hear a word I said?" Of course he knew what unfair was. They all knew. In fact, this whole tournament was unfair. "Don't just make this about yourself. I apologize for worrying about you and I won't make the mistake of doing it again. First of all, yes, we know people are going to die. Secondly, if you're referring to Hao, he could be killing anyone and everyone outside the arena and he hasn't even come close to destroying everyone. Stop making him out to be worse than he is just because of your bias."

They couldn't protect the Spirit of Fire, and they could't protect the other spirits now. They had too much to do, and Goldva didn't care about that. If Goldva told them to stay put and not retaliate, that was all they could do. As far as Namari was concerned, only Silva went against his orders. Even Magna was nothing on this scale.

"What you did was put every one of us in danger. With you acting out, the rest of us won't be trusted. Stop making this entire story about you and whining like a baby. What about Nichrome? What about Renim? They didn't like Hao either, and they put up with it. What about Nichrome, the child whose personal life you spewed to a total stranger to this family?! What happened with that Ren kid and one of our own is our business, but you told that Yoh kid because it suited your own needs. I was in India giving tests for the Shaman Fight when we lost Chrom. Do you really think I just sat by and decided it was perfectly okay for him to die for the Shaman Fight?! I came back early when I heard he'd died! And who did I tell? Nobody. Nobody else told anyone. Only you did."

Namari was generally calm, but as soon as someone said anything against his family, he wasn't about to stand by and take that. Not from anyone else, and not from one of their own. "Do you know what's truly unfair? That I have to stand here and let our spirits be stolen because our own leader doesn't care! I told him, hoping he would do something about it, but no. Everything is just the will of the Great Spirit, and all I can do is that accept that and hold in my frustration. All I can do is watch our family's reputation be smashed to bits and watch everyone suffer. This wasn't how this was supposed to turn out!"

All of them had some kind of problem. Silva had unfair things in his life, but all of them did. None of them wanted to put up with this. If there was anyone that could fix this, it was the only one of them that had died. "Bron really liked that Lyserg kid and hoped for the best for him. Magna enjoys Hao's presence and can't truly be a friend to him because he's restricted by our laws. Radim hates seeing people die, and he gets the goddamn front row seat to every blood splattering arena death! Kalim wants you to be happy and for all the contestants to be satisfied. Renim just wanted a normal tournament, and instead he gets his family fighting each other at every corner. Nichrome lost his brother and his brother's own best friend gave out information for his own selfish problems, and now Nichrome doesn't even want to leave our area out of worry someone is going to gang up on him again! Thalim hates violence, hates death, wants the best for every single person on this island, knows he can't do anything about Hao, and he still handles it and keeps everything in. And you think your life is unfair? I will tell you what's fair and unfair, because obviously I pay better attention to my precious family and consider their feelings more than you ever did!"

He turned away, his breath coming out shaky. He'd gone off on raw emotion this time, almost regretting any kindness to a person who wouldn't even consider his own family's needs. Was he always like this? Did he always put himself first? He wasn't the only one affected by Hao... yet suddenly he was making this about him. This wasn't the Silva Namari knew before the tournament. This wasn't the smiley, dorkish Silva who laughed at almost anything and nothing. This wasn't the person who made people smile when they were upset.

"Sorry our burdens aren't good enough to match up to yours. If you think your life is so unfair and everything is so messed up, and if you truly think we're all just monsters because we don't scream and cry when something goes wrong, you can go your own way. We don't have time to waste anymore. All we can do now is think about how to use the rest of our own lives to be happy, because all of us are probably going to be dead soon. You can thank your darling Yoh and his friends for that, since you seem to favor them over us." Ah, but not like Silva cared, right? Silva was the last of them to have to fight in the event the plants were invaded. He was the most likely to survive, while the others could be dead in due time. "But don't you dare try dragging everyone else down because you can't handle your job. Stop whining about Hao, Hao, Hao. I shouldn't even have to tell my senior these things, but it looks like I do have to, because he doesn't seem to care how hurt his own flesh and blood is. But I'm not letting you hurt everyone else any further, nor harm our reputation any further. Apparently if I speak nicely to you, you won't listen. So I'll drop formalities and just get pissed if that makes you feel better. We would've helped you, but it seems you think all priorities belong to you while we're just living blissfully in a perfect world. Well, I can tell you that you're wrong."

[reddesertpatch]

"Hey Namari, are you... free tonight? I was wondering if you would like to make the cake with me and have it ready for Silva's birthday tomorrow."

"I can help, sure. I figured you had it on your own, so I didn’t bother you about it, but I can help if you want me around for it." Though they all did various things on birthdays, Silva was one of the more excitable and festive ones. Some of them didn’t do cakes or presents, finding other ways to acknowledge a birthday. If whoever it was normally liked sweets, ordinarily, Namari would leave that to Thalim and work on the dinner. Of course, he had no problem helping if Thalim just wanted the company. Namari knew he could handle baking on his own, which left the situation that the other probably just wanted someone else around.

"I don’t know how much you’re planning on decorating it, but I’ll add the designs on the edges. I like being able to focus on details. We can make one large cake or just make two separate ones. There’s a lot of us, after all."

[reddesertpatch]

"I never thought I'd see the Patch Tribe again.." Asakura spoke firmly.

"As long as you're part of the tournament, you don't exactly get a choice." He was the one Silva was fond of. Namari had his own personal concerns about Silva and the thing he'd done, but he couldn't understand what so interested him about this boy. He'd been the one to throw accusations at Namari and try to act superior, which Namari found entirely uncalled for. To do his job as an Official and be blamed for something else by someone who knew nothing of their private lives didn't quite put Yoh on the top of his list.

"If you're close to Silva, I recommend you get used to seeing the rest of the family." Were it his choice, he wouldn't be seeing this person again either. Namari may have been carefree and open to conversation, but there was a limit to what he wouldn't take personally. "If you have an issue with our tribe, you would do well to simply avoid any more than the minimum required contact."

[reddesertpatch]

"You're fantastic!"

Not what he expected to hear, but he wouldn’t shoot the thought down. Though not sure what exactly caused Thalim to decide to say that now, he wouldn’t ignore a compliment. He didn’t quite feel “fantastic” as a person, though he didn’t consider himself by any means incompetent. Perhaps he simply didn’t see what others saw. Rather, he saw the good in other people, but less so for himself. Not that Namari thought of himself as a bad person, but knowing someone thought highly of him made him feel the need to not let that person down.

"Am… I?" He’d only ever been himself after all, so that’s all he had to keep doing, right? This was family, and he trusted Thalim to tell him if he was doing something wrong. Despite being the one who looked out for the family as a whole the most, he was still one of the youngest. He would probably make mistakes that the others wouldn’t. What was reassuring was hearing this from Thalim, specifically, however. He was mature for his age, and handled things much better than even some of those older than them. Renim had almost ten years on Thalim, and by far was Thalim was the more mature one.

"I’m glad you think so. It’s… assuring to know someone’s got my back. But you’re pretty fantastic yourself, you know?" He knew Thalim, more than any of the other Officials, had a lot of insecurities that caused self doubt. Yet he was still this strong, and he still stood on his own two feet. He didn’t ask for help in the most stubborn way, always wanting to try to do things for himself and not burden anyone else.  He had a lot of things he needed to handle, and those were things about himself that only he could fix, but Namari knew one day he’d be able to. He was insecure, but he wasn’t weak at all. “Whatever you may think about yourself, you’re strong. In ways different from me.” Thalim wouldn’t be able to doubt himself in front of Namari. The latter knew there was more to him than that. “But I’ll take your compliment. Thanks.” The smile given was a more gentle one than the smile he usually wore. Different from his carefree or sarcastic smile. It was genuine; one not many people would see on his face. “I guess two fantastic people are making a fantastic dinner tonight, then.”

[onetruelizardking]

Visit Original Link

I shut the world away from here Drift to you, you’re all I hear Everything we know fades to black

[into-an-abyss-i-go]

It hurts. It hurts a lot. But I’ll keep it to myself so it doesn’t hurt anyone else.

(via acontagiouslaugh)

[legendarywarriors-sk]

Recently, I've been feeling down often, so I go to argentshaman and I immediately perk up. Silva's interactions are hilarious!

[ argentshaman ]

[zodiaccity]

Zodiac Leo….Who are they?

[argentshaman]

Silva. The Patch corn flakes taste horrible.

"Put some sugar on them. They’ll be alright."

[anna-okami]

"Then put the sugar on them before you package and sell them."

[reddesertpatch]

"Ummm, we only market that stuff. We don’t personally make it. Complain to the company that makes it."

[reddesertpatch]

Illness themed RP starters! (I'm going to get sad if I don't get any.)

"When is the last time you ate?"

"Let me get you a glass of water."

"You can lay down in my bed if you need to."

"Don't cry, you're going to be fine."

"You're safe, I've got you."

"You're fever's too high, you're delirious."

"Sleep it off."

"Can I get you anything?"

"Here, vomit in this."

"You've been out for days. I was worried you were dead."

"When is the last time you slept?"

"How bad does your stomach hurt?"

"How long have you had that cough?"

"Hold on. You're too sick to go anywhere."

"I'll get you a blanket, you're going to be here for a while."

"Let's go home, you're too sick."

"I can do that, just go back to bed."

"Maybe you should go to the doctor."

"Come on, at least sleep in a bed."

[reddesertpatch]

"You sound ghastly, like some 90-year-old woman."

"Yeah, that's... great, Silva. I feel like one too." Being ill sucked. A lot. The bigger issue was that he refused to stay laying down, and it definitely wasn't helping his problem. He'd gotten restless, finding himself "too bored" to stay in bed. Granted, it'd been the second day that he couldn't do much, and he found it to be a waste of time waiting to get completely better. The only way he'd actually sleep was if any medication he took caused drowsiness, in which case, he'd look for another type of medication that didn't cause it.

"Stay around me long enough and you'll be fighting off an illness with this kind of voice too." If he weren't feeling so sluggish, he might've been finding amusement in asking people to get things for him. Honestly, he did want to sleep this off, but the time it took for him to actually get to sleep due to said illness outdid his patience. Though unsure of how it would turn out this time, he ungracefully flopped onto his mattress, mumbling about illnesses being boring and shooing Silva away with his hand. Sounded like a ninety year old woman, huh. What a shame it would be if Silva accidentally caught the illness, too.

[reddesertpatch]

"Come on, it's not that bad."

Not that bad? Well, he couldn’t expect her to understand. She was a child. His job was difficult, and though he didn’t mind Hao as a person, people would stop trusting him if they believed he was siding with Hao directly. He definitely had nothing against Opacho, and in fact, there was nothing to have against her. Opacho loved Hao, so of course she wouldn’t believe siding with him was a problem. It wouldn’t surprise him if she didn’t really know anything about the life of an Official. To begin with, he wanted to avoid all the headaches of sorting out any messes. They all already had a lot to do, whether people realized it or not. As much as he knew Opacho meant to harm by her comment, somehow, it still… stung. Not that bad… Well, actually, it was that bad.

"I don’t expect you to be able to grasp our life, since you’re not living it… so just live the way you’ve been. It’s not the kind of life you’d want to have." Ignorance was bliss, after all. She was fine the way she was. "Just stay where you are; with Hao. That’s the best place for you. You’ve got things a lot better than us. Don’t waste that."

[reddesertpatch]

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't torment my friend."

His “friend”? Out of what Namari could recall, he hadn’t spoken to many people lately outside of their family. One had indeed been Yoh… been if anything, in a way, he’d been the one tormented by Yoh. Perhaps one could say he’d done such things, in an odd way, to Ryu and Sati, but that was his normal attitude.

"I haven’t done anything of that sort. What are you taking me for? A heartless jerk? I think twice about what I do and never has my mind wandered to tormenting someone. Rather, I’d like to say it’s me feeling tormented, but I’m not here to make this about me.”

Was Silva just angry at everything else, unintentionally letting his aggravation out on the people around him? If that was the case, Namari would let it slide this one time, but he wasn’t about to take another accusation. He had a job to be doing, and he didn’t have time to even think about going after other people. “I have things to do, Silva. If you’re looking for someone to vent at and blame, find someone else.”

[betweensilencee]

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I am beautiful no matter what they say  Words can’t bring me down  I am beautiful in every single way  Yes, words can’t bring me down  So don’t you bring me down today