"Thanks For Watching Him, Bitch!" @redsunslushie - Tumblr Blog

Teaching Clark Kryptonian is fun because I'll teach him swear words without explain that they're swears and then he gets all embarrassed when he figures it out--

You're teaching him swears intentionally??? Aunt Lara would have my head.

She—still might when he starts mimicking me at her...

You're not???? Dude, you're missing out.

He's barely two cycles old! He does not need me teaching him Kryptonian military swears... Yet.

Oh we have lived very different lives-

We do? You don't seem too much older than me..

Clark is older than me by, like, a decade, man.

A decade???

So Kal held you as a baby?? That's so.. Strange

...oh we have lived very different lives.

What does that mean???

...

I didn't know my cousin until he was an adult.

What.

We were supposed to be sent to Earth together, right? I mean, Kal and I didn't make it to Earth, but you were both in the same ship—

How did you survive Krypton's explosion if Kal-El was sent first?

I...wasn't even born yet.

Like I said, different lives.

Oh. So you and Kal never.

Oh.

That—would you like to see baby Kal? He should be waking up soon?

Um...sure?

Hey wait. Weird question. His parents didn't send you two off to become "conquerors of worlds" or whatever, right?

Uh.. No..? Maybe? I found out we were being sent off 3 minutes before the planet exploded. There wasn't much time to explain.

But that is what got Krypton bombed out of existence? Emperor Zod wanted to "show those who opposed our progress and the values of Kryptonian the fear of Rao."

Earth was chosen because it's considered a primitive planet that wouldn't be a threat to us. There uh there weaponry and technology are apparently like baby toys.

[ Kara pulled Kal from the pod he had been sleeping in, bouncing the now groggy toddler in her arms. Kal whined at being woken up, pressing his head into Kara's shoulder. She laughed a little. ]

He's a deep sleeper aaand so grumpy when I wake him up.

...Do I need to conquer Earth?

"Gods, no," Kara almost laughed. "Apparently my uncle was kind of a nut job...luckily, Clark was taken in by arguably the sweetest people in the universe, so he's turned out alright..."

She watched the toddler curiously, trying to make sense of...whatever was even happening right now.

"He's so...small. Enjoy this while it lasts, if he's anything like my cousin he's gonna end up over 6 feet tall and such a morning person."

I— really wouldn't know if my uncle was a little crazed or not. For brothers, they weren't close.

[ Kara looked at her groggy little cousin. Kal-El,the boy who slept through her working making noise and fixing a ship. She laughed. ]

I don't think I could imagine him ever getting up early.

[ She smiled and gently pet her Kal's head while he woke up a little more and pouted about it before Kara piqued his interest. He stared at her for a minute before hiding his face back into his cousin's shoulder. She prompted quietly in a sing-song voice. ]

Kal-El, can you say hi?

Hii

[ he was looking at Kara while still pressing his head against his cousin. ]

"Yeah, they were...at odds a lot. From what I remember."

She watched Kal slowly start to wake up, mirroring his curiosity. It was certainly...interesting to see how another version of herself and her cousin was doing.

"Hey, maybe you're the lucky one who gets a Kal who knows how to sleep in," she teased gently.

He's pretty good at tiring himself out.

[ Kara's lips press softly to his forehead. She shifts him in her arms, cradling him a little closer like she could shield him from the whole universe if she just held on hard enough. ]

It's better this way. Better that he sleeps through most of it. That way, less of it sticks. I hope—I hope he forgets about it all.

[ She laughed a little. ]

Isn't that awful to say? I hope he forgets about our home and parents and the bombs.

[ She looks down at his tiny face, so unaware, and her heart twists until it aches. ]

It hurts right? Being the only one who remembers? I'm guessing your Cousin doesn't know much about how—about all of it.

[ She set him down gently. It was good to let him get the zoomies out before they got on the ship again. Her eyes were glistening as she watched him. ]

I'll tell him about the good parts, of course.. The festivals, the way mom and Aunt Lara would bicker and make everything a competition between them. The games we played. Our mythologies..

He won't know about the moon turning green. Or the bodies in the streets. Or Zod's voice rattling through every home. I just—I want him to know what we loved. What I loved about home.

...I'm uh sorry. That—you didn't need to hear me ramble about that.

"You should tell him everything, eventually. When he's old enough. He deserves to know what happened," Kara said softly. She supposed she had it a little easier not knowing Clark until he was an adult. She didn't have to explain the destruction of her people to a child.

"...I didn't see that part. The...destruction of the planet. That was just the beginning of the end, for my krypton."

Maybe.. I'm not really sure when old enough would be.

[ Kara watched her cousin, her playful curious little cousin who was still somehow so happy. ]

I don't want him to carry what we do.

[ Kara paused, taking that in. "The...destruction of the planet. That was just the beginning of the end, for my krypton." ]

I'm not sure if that's more or less cruel. Even when they turned the moon colonies green, they were presumed all dead within a week..

"He'll get curious one day, when he's older. Probably as a teenager, teens suck. He'll figure it out one way or another...it'd be better to hear it from you," she said. As painful as it was to remember, to retell, Clark deserved to know the truth at some point.

"The initial destruction happened eight years before I was born, and then I was a teenager when the Kryptonite poisoning started to really make itself known," she explained, much quieter now. "I personally think the quick death is kinder."

I'm sorry—

[ Kara started then stopped herself. ]

The moon colonies were all wiped out with Kryptonite. It's still green now. The uh, the moon was deemed so incredibly irradiated that Zod dreamed it a lost cause to look for survivors.

I saw one of them. Someone is still alive there. Kind of. They were melting. I shot at them, but still ended up needing to be rescued by The Guardians.

"Melting? That's...a new one," Kara said with a vague look of horror on her face. She couldn't imagine what that must've been like. "My father found the plans for the shuttle his brother sent Kal away in before I was born, and after my mother passed from the radiation, he used his last days to build it and send me to earth too."

Hi Cousin! How’s it going? Are you going to come and visit soon? Maybe?

Yeah, yeah, Krypto and I will visit soon. Probably.

Here is my resume to be in the Justice League, alright.

I enjoy killing, killing is my favorite. Mostly murder but any type of homicide is my specialty. Manslaughter, fuck yeah. I am qualified in robbing banks. I could get in and out in seconds. I also like parking illegally. My favorite type of parking. Battery, man do I looove battery. Ok that's it I think. Hope these are good qualifications.

...what the fuck?

You know what? I'm gonna let Guy handle this, because if I handle it, people might start hating Kryptonians again.

I laughed a bit at the parking bit..

But also, what the hell is going on with your Justice League??

They're corporate sponsored superheroes 🙄 technically I think they're the Justice Gang? Don't know why this rando sent me their "application" I'm not even in the group. To be totally honest I tend to ignore them.

Well, Hawkgirl and Mr. Terrific are cool.

...I guess I mostly ignore Guy and his fuckass bowlcut.

Guy can be funny! .... To watch

Oh, that's—huh. Actually actually the corporate hero organization was not what I was expecting.

I mean he's funny in the way a broken clock can be right-- you're so right

Yeah, LordTech backs them. Guy makes sure he lets everyone know every time they show up somewhere. Is it not like that for you?

Yeah, nah. The Justice League is mostly funded by the heroes themselves and their benefactors. Mainly the big three of the Hero Society: Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman.

You can be a corporate, government-funded, whatever but the League's supposed to stand above all that politics stuff. A group of people just trying to do the most good for everyone, y'know?

For example, I'm a corporate hero, but my friends and team are all private self-funded heroes.

Huh. Crazy. I'm learning so much about the other timelines this week-

My cousin has a secret identity and a job and I just mooch off him when I'm on earth. That's about it on my end.

Secret identities are overrated. I didn't have a "real name" until I met my team, and that name really didn't stay private. Like at all.

I'm just Kara. I mean--technically earth does call me Supergirl but I don't have a disguise or anything. I've not really been a permanent resident, though.

All Clark does is throw on glasses but apparently it works for him.

Well Clark also acts like... I mean this in the nicest way, Clark.

Most folks aren't going to look at him and say, "Yes, the farm boy who walked into a sign talking to his girlfriend, that's Superman."

Also, my name's Kon, nice to meet you, Kara

Hey, that's my cousin you're talking about-- you're not wrong though

Nice to meet you, Kon.

I'm not trying to be mean! You know he's going to try and make you assume a secret identity.

If you're staying on planet.

Makes it easier to live among the people or something.

Uuuuugh, don't remind me. I've already told him I'll just go back to intergalactic barhopping if he tries, but I'm not sure that'll actually hold him off much longer.

Teaching Clark Kryptonian is fun because I'll teach him swear words without explain that they're swears and then he gets all embarrassed when he figures it out--

You're teaching him swears intentionally??? Aunt Lara would have my head.

She—still might when he starts mimicking me at her...

You're not???? Dude, you're missing out.

He's barely two cycles old! He does not need me teaching him Kryptonian military swears... Yet.

Oh we have lived very different lives-

We do? You don't seem too much older than me..

Clark is older than me by, like, a decade, man.

A decade???

So Kal held you as a baby?? That's so.. Strange

...oh we have lived very different lives.

What does that mean???

...

I didn't know my cousin until he was an adult.

What.

We were supposed to be sent to Earth together, right? I mean, Kal and I didn't make it to Earth, but you were both in the same ship—

How did you survive Krypton's explosion if Kal-El was sent first?

I...wasn't even born yet.

Like I said, different lives.

Oh. So you and Kal never.

Oh.

That—would you like to see baby Kal? He should be waking up soon?

Um...sure?

Hey wait. Weird question. His parents didn't send you two off to become "conquerors of worlds" or whatever, right?

Uh.. No..? Maybe? I found out we were being sent off 3 minutes before the planet exploded. There wasn't much time to explain.

But that is what got Krypton bombed out of existence? Emperor Zod wanted to "show those who opposed our progress and the values of Kryptonian the fear of Rao."

Earth was chosen because it's considered a primitive planet that wouldn't be a threat to us. There uh there weaponry and technology are apparently like baby toys.

[ Kara pulled Kal from the pod he had been sleeping in, bouncing the now groggy toddler in her arms. Kal whined at being woken up, pressing his head into Kara's shoulder. She laughed a little. ]

He's a deep sleeper aaand so grumpy when I wake him up.

...Do I need to conquer Earth?

"Gods, no," Kara almost laughed. "Apparently my uncle was kind of a nut job...luckily, Clark was taken in by arguably the sweetest people in the universe, so he's turned out alright..."

She watched the toddler curiously, trying to make sense of...whatever was even happening right now.

"He's so...small. Enjoy this while it lasts, if he's anything like my cousin he's gonna end up over 6 feet tall and such a morning person."

I— really wouldn't know if my uncle was a little crazed or not. For brothers, they weren't close.

[ Kara looked at her groggy little cousin. Kal-El,the boy who slept through her working making noise and fixing a ship. She laughed. ]

I don't think I could imagine him ever getting up early.

[ She smiled and gently pet her Kal's head while he woke up a little more and pouted about it before Kara piqued his interest. He stared at her for a minute before hiding his face back into his cousin's shoulder. She prompted quietly in a sing-song voice. ]

Kal-El, can you say hi?

Hii

[ he was looking at Kara while still pressing his head against his cousin. ]

"Yeah, they were...at odds a lot. From what I remember."

She watched Kal slowly start to wake up, mirroring his curiosity. It was certainly...interesting to see how another version of herself and her cousin was doing.

"Hey, maybe you're the lucky one who gets a Kal who knows how to sleep in," she teased gently.

He's pretty good at tiring himself out.

[ Kara's lips press softly to his forehead. She shifts him in her arms, cradling him a little closer like she could shield him from the whole universe if she just held on hard enough. ]

It's better this way. Better that he sleeps through most of it. That way, less of it sticks. I hope—I hope he forgets about it all.

[ She laughed a little. ]

Isn't that awful to say? I hope he forgets about our home and parents and the bombs.

[ She looks down at his tiny face, so unaware, and her heart twists until it aches. ]

It hurts right? Being the only one who remembers? I'm guessing your Cousin doesn't know much about how—about all of it.

[ She set him down gently. It was good to let him get the zoomies out before they got on the ship again. Her eyes were glistening as she watched him. ]

I'll tell him about the good parts, of course.. The festivals, the way mom and Aunt Lara would bicker and make everything a competition between them. The games we played. Our mythologies..

He won't know about the moon turning green. Or the bodies in the streets. Or Zod's voice rattling through every home. I just—I want him to know what we loved. What I loved about home.

...I'm uh sorry. That—you didn't need to hear me ramble about that.

"You should tell him everything, eventually. When he's old enough. He deserves to know what happened," Kara said softly. She supposed she had it a little easier not knowing Clark until he was an adult. She didn't have to explain the destruction of her people to a child.

"...I didn't see that part. The...destruction of the planet. That was just the beginning of the end, for my krypton."

Maybe.. I'm not really sure when old enough would be.

[ Kara watched her cousin, her playful curious little cousin who was still somehow so happy. ]

I don't want him to carry what we do.

[ Kara paused, taking that in. "The...destruction of the planet. That was just the beginning of the end, for my krypton." ]

I'm not sure if that's more or less cruel. Even when they turned the moon colonies green, they were presumed all dead within a week..

"He'll get curious one day, when he's older. Probably as a teenager, teens suck. He'll figure it out one way or another...it'd be better to hear it from you," she said. As painful as it was to remember, to retell, Clark deserved to know the truth at some point.

"The initial destruction happened eight years before I was born, and then I was a teenager when the Kryptonite poisoning started to really make itself known," she explained, much quieter now. "I personally think the quick death is kinder."

Here is my resume to be in the Justice League, alright.

I enjoy killing, killing is my favorite. Mostly murder but any type of homicide is my specialty. Manslaughter, fuck yeah. I am qualified in robbing banks. I could get in and out in seconds. I also like parking illegally. My favorite type of parking. Battery, man do I looove battery. Ok that's it I think. Hope these are good qualifications.

...what the fuck?

You know what? I'm gonna let Guy handle this, because if I handle it, people might start hating Kryptonians again.

I laughed a bit at the parking bit..

But also, what the hell is going on with your Justice League??

They're corporate sponsored superheroes 🙄 technically I think they're the Justice Gang? Don't know why this rando sent me their "application" I'm not even in the group. To be totally honest I tend to ignore them.

Well, Hawkgirl and Mr. Terrific are cool.

...I guess I mostly ignore Guy and his fuckass bowlcut.

Guy can be funny! .... To watch

Oh, that's—huh. Actually actually the corporate hero organization was not what I was expecting.

I mean he's funny in the way a broken clock can be right-- you're so right

Yeah, LordTech backs them. Guy makes sure he lets everyone know every time they show up somewhere. Is it not like that for you?

Yeah, nah. The Justice League is mostly funded by the heroes themselves and their benefactors. Mainly the big three of the Hero Society: Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman.

You can be a corporate, government-funded, whatever but the League's supposed to stand above all that politics stuff. A group of people just trying to do the most good for everyone, y'know?

For example, I'm a corporate hero, but my friends and team are all private self-funded heroes.

Huh. Crazy. I'm learning so much about the other timelines this week-

My cousin has a secret identity and a job and I just mooch off him when I'm on earth. That's about it on my end.

Secret identities are overrated. I didn't have a "real name" until I met my team, and that name really didn't stay private. Like at all.

I'm just Kara. I mean--technically earth does call me Supergirl but I don't have a disguise or anything. I've not really been a permanent resident, though.

All Clark does is throw on glasses but apparently it works for him.

Well Clark also acts like... I mean this in the nicest way, Clark.

Most folks aren't going to look at him and say, "Yes, the farm boy who walked into a sign talking to his girlfriend, that's Superman."

Also, my name's Kon, nice to meet you, Kara

Hey, that's my cousin you're talking about-- you're not wrong though

Nice to meet you, Kon.

Here is my resume to be in the Justice League, alright.

I enjoy killing, killing is my favorite. Mostly murder but any type of homicide is my specialty. Manslaughter, fuck yeah. I am qualified in robbing banks. I could get in and out in seconds. I also like parking illegally. My favorite type of parking. Battery, man do I looove battery. Ok that's it I think. Hope these are good qualifications.

...what the fuck?

You know what? I'm gonna let Guy handle this, because if I handle it, people might start hating Kryptonians again.

I laughed a bit at the parking bit..

But also, what the hell is going on with your Justice League??

They're corporate sponsored superheroes 🙄 technically I think they're the Justice Gang? Don't know why this rando sent me their "application" I'm not even in the group. To be totally honest I tend to ignore them.

Well, Hawkgirl and Mr. Terrific are cool.

...I guess I mostly ignore Guy and his fuckass bowlcut.

Guy can be funny! .... To watch

Oh, that's—huh. Actually actually the corporate hero organization was not what I was expecting.

I mean he's funny in the way a broken clock can be right-- you're so right

Yeah, LordTech backs them. Guy makes sure he lets everyone know every time they show up somewhere. Is it not like that for you?

Yeah, nah. The Justice League is mostly funded by the heroes themselves and their benefactors. Mainly the big three of the Hero Society: Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman.

You can be a corporate, government-funded, whatever but the League's supposed to stand above all that politics stuff. A group of people just trying to do the most good for everyone, y'know?

For example, I'm a corporate hero, but my friends and team are all private self-funded heroes.

Huh. Crazy. I'm learning so much about the other timelines this week-

My cousin has a secret identity and a job and I just mooch off him when I'm on earth. That's about it on my end.

Secret identities are overrated. I didn't have a "real name" until I met my team, and that name really didn't stay private. Like at all.

I'm just Kara. I mean--technically earth does call me Supergirl but I don't have a disguise or anything. I've not really been a permanent resident, though.

All Clark does is throw on glasses but apparently it works for him.

Teaching Clark Kryptonian is fun because I'll teach him swear words without explain that they're swears and then he gets all embarrassed when he figures it out--

You're teaching him swears intentionally??? Aunt Lara would have my head.

She—still might when he starts mimicking me at her...

You're not???? Dude, you're missing out.

He's barely two cycles old! He does not need me teaching him Kryptonian military swears... Yet.

Oh we have lived very different lives-

We do? You don't seem too much older than me..

Clark is older than me by, like, a decade, man.

A decade???

So Kal held you as a baby?? That's so.. Strange

...oh we have lived very different lives.

What does that mean???

...

I didn't know my cousin until he was an adult.

What.

We were supposed to be sent to Earth together, right? I mean, Kal and I didn't make it to Earth, but you were both in the same ship—

How did you survive Krypton's explosion if Kal-El was sent first?

I...wasn't even born yet.

Like I said, different lives.

Oh. So you and Kal never.

Oh.

That—would you like to see baby Kal? He should be waking up soon?

Um...sure?

Hey wait. Weird question. His parents didn't send you two off to become "conquerors of worlds" or whatever, right?

Uh.. No..? Maybe? I found out we were being sent off 3 minutes before the planet exploded. There wasn't much time to explain.

But that is what got Krypton bombed out of existence? Emperor Zod wanted to "show those who opposed our progress and the values of Kryptonian the fear of Rao."

Earth was chosen because it's considered a primitive planet that wouldn't be a threat to us. There uh there weaponry and technology are apparently like baby toys.

[ Kara pulled Kal from the pod he had been sleeping in, bouncing the now groggy toddler in her arms. Kal whined at being woken up, pressing his head into Kara's shoulder. She laughed a little. ]

He's a deep sleeper aaand so grumpy when I wake him up.

...Do I need to conquer Earth?

"Gods, no," Kara almost laughed. "Apparently my uncle was kind of a nut job...luckily, Clark was taken in by arguably the sweetest people in the universe, so he's turned out alright..."

She watched the toddler curiously, trying to make sense of...whatever was even happening right now.

"He's so...small. Enjoy this while it lasts, if he's anything like my cousin he's gonna end up over 6 feet tall and such a morning person."

I— really wouldn't know if my uncle was a little crazed or not. For brothers, they weren't close.

[ Kara looked at her groggy little cousin. Kal-El,the boy who slept through her working making noise and fixing a ship. She laughed. ]

I don't think I could imagine him ever getting up early.

[ She smiled and gently pet her Kal's head while he woke up a little more and pouted about it before Kara piqued his interest. He stared at her for a minute before hiding his face back into his cousin's shoulder. She prompted quietly in a sing-song voice. ]

Kal-El, can you say hi?

Hii

[ he was looking at Kara while still pressing his head against his cousin. ]

"Yeah, they were...at odds a lot. From what I remember."

She watched Kal slowly start to wake up, mirroring his curiosity. It was certainly...interesting to see how another version of herself and her cousin was doing.

"Hey, maybe you're the lucky one who gets a Kal who knows how to sleep in," she teased gently.

He's pretty good at tiring himself out.

[ Kara's lips press softly to his forehead. She shifts him in her arms, cradling him a little closer like she could shield him from the whole universe if she just held on hard enough. ]

It's better this way. Better that he sleeps through most of it. That way, less of it sticks. I hope—I hope he forgets about it all.

[ She laughed a little. ]

Isn't that awful to say? I hope he forgets about our home and parents and the bombs.

[ She looks down at his tiny face, so unaware, and her heart twists until it aches. ]

It hurts right? Being the only one who remembers? I'm guessing your Cousin doesn't know much about how—about all of it.

[ She set him down gently. It was good to let him get the zoomies out before they got on the ship again. Her eyes were glistening as she watched him. ]

I'll tell him about the good parts, of course.. The festivals, the way mom and Aunt Lara would bicker and make everything a competition between them. The games we played. Our mythologies..

He won't know about the moon turning green. Or the bodies in the streets. Or Zod's voice rattling through every home. I just—I want him to know what we loved. What I loved about home.

...I'm uh sorry. That—you didn't need to hear me ramble about that.

"You should tell him everything, eventually. When he's old enough. He deserves to know what happened," Kara said softly. She supposed she had it a little easier not knowing Clark until he was an adult. She didn't have to explain the destruction of her people to a child.

"...I didn't see that part. The...destruction of the planet. That was just the beginning of the end, for my krypton."

Here is my resume to be in the Justice League, alright.

I enjoy killing, killing is my favorite. Mostly murder but any type of homicide is my specialty. Manslaughter, fuck yeah. I am qualified in robbing banks. I could get in and out in seconds. I also like parking illegally. My favorite type of parking. Battery, man do I looove battery. Ok that's it I think. Hope these are good qualifications.

...what the fuck?

You know what? I'm gonna let Guy handle this, because if I handle it, people might start hating Kryptonians again.

I laughed a bit at the parking bit..

But also, what the hell is going on with your Justice League??

They're corporate sponsored superheroes 🙄 technically I think they're the Justice Gang? Don't know why this rando sent me their "application" I'm not even in the group. To be totally honest I tend to ignore them.

Well, Hawkgirl and Mr. Terrific are cool.

...I guess I mostly ignore Guy and his fuckass bowlcut.

Guy can be funny! .... To watch

Oh, that's—huh. Actually actually the corporate hero organization was not what I was expecting.

I mean he's funny in the way a broken clock can be right-- you're so right

Yeah, LordTech backs them. Guy makes sure he lets everyone know every time they show up somewhere. Is it not like that for you?

Yeah, nah. The Justice League is mostly funded by the heroes themselves and their benefactors. Mainly the big three of the Hero Society: Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman.

You can be a corporate, government-funded, whatever but the League's supposed to stand above all that politics stuff. A group of people just trying to do the most good for everyone, y'know?

For example, I'm a corporate hero, but my friends and team are all private self-funded heroes.

Huh. Crazy. I'm learning so much about the other timelines this week-

My cousin has a secret identity and a job and I just mooch off him when I'm on earth. That's about it on my end.

Here is my resume to be in the Justice League, alright.

I enjoy killing, killing is my favorite. Mostly murder but any type of homicide is my specialty. Manslaughter, fuck yeah. I am qualified in robbing banks. I could get in and out in seconds. I also like parking illegally. My favorite type of parking. Battery, man do I looove battery. Ok that's it I think. Hope these are good qualifications.

...what the fuck?

You know what? I'm gonna let Guy handle this, because if I handle it, people might start hating Kryptonians again.

I laughed a bit at the parking bit..

But also, what the hell is going on with your Justice League??

They're corporate sponsored superheroes 🙄 technically I think they're the Justice Gang? Don't know why this rando sent me their "application" I'm not even in the group. To be totally honest I tend to ignore them.

Well, Hawkgirl and Mr. Terrific are cool.

...I guess I mostly ignore Guy and his fuckass bowlcut.

Guy can be funny! .... To watch

Oh, that's—huh. Actually actually the corporate hero organization was not what I was expecting.

I mean he's funny in the way a broken clock can be right-- you're so right

Yeah, LordTech backs them. Guy makes sure he lets everyone know every time they show up somewhere. Is it not like that for you?

Here is my resume to be in the Justice League, alright.

I enjoy killing, killing is my favorite. Mostly murder but any type of homicide is my specialty. Manslaughter, fuck yeah. I am qualified in robbing banks. I could get in and out in seconds. I also like parking illegally. My favorite type of parking. Battery, man do I looove battery. Ok that's it I think. Hope these are good qualifications.

...what the fuck?

You know what? I'm gonna let Guy handle this, because if I handle it, people might start hating Kryptonians again.

I laughed a bit at the parking bit..

But also, what the hell is going on with your Justice League??

They're corporate sponsored superheroes 🙄 technically I think they're the Justice Gang? Don't know why this rando sent me their "application" I'm not even in the group. To be totally honest I tend to ignore them.

Well, Hawkgirl and Mr. Terrific are cool.

...I guess I mostly ignore Guy and his fuckass bowlcut.

Here is my resume to be in the Justice League, alright.

I enjoy killing, killing is my favorite. Mostly murder but any type of homicide is my specialty. Manslaughter, fuck yeah. I am qualified in robbing banks. I could get in and out in seconds. I also like parking illegally. My favorite type of parking. Battery, man do I looove battery. Ok that's it I think. Hope these are good qualifications.

...what the fuck?

You know what? I'm gonna let Guy handle this, because if I handle it, people might start hating Kryptonians again.

oh lol i was kinda under the impression that you didnt need that much nutrients like humans

Damn what has Clark been telling you guys? Nah, I still need to eat. And drink. And other bodily functions--

Have you eaten any earth food like chicken nuggets?

I've eaten a lot of earth food, dude. I did spend a decent amount of time here once I found my cousin.

Teaching Clark Kryptonian is fun because I'll teach him swear words without explain that they're swears and then he gets all embarrassed when he figures it out--

You're teaching him swears intentionally??? Aunt Lara would have my head.

She—still might when he starts mimicking me at her...

You're not???? Dude, you're missing out.

He's barely two cycles old! He does not need me teaching him Kryptonian military swears... Yet.

Oh we have lived very different lives-

We do? You don't seem too much older than me..

Clark is older than me by, like, a decade, man.

A decade???

So Kal held you as a baby?? That's so.. Strange

...oh we have lived very different lives.

What does that mean???

...

I didn't know my cousin until he was an adult.

What.

We were supposed to be sent to Earth together, right? I mean, Kal and I didn't make it to Earth, but you were both in the same ship—

How did you survive Krypton's explosion if Kal-El was sent first?

I...wasn't even born yet.

Like I said, different lives.

Oh. So you and Kal never.

Oh.

That—would you like to see baby Kal? He should be waking up soon?

Um...sure?

Hey wait. Weird question. His parents didn't send you two off to become "conquerors of worlds" or whatever, right?

Uh.. No..? Maybe? I found out we were being sent off 3 minutes before the planet exploded. There wasn't much time to explain.

But that is what got Krypton bombed out of existence? Emperor Zod wanted to "show those who opposed our progress and the values of Kryptonian the fear of Rao."

Earth was chosen because it's considered a primitive planet that wouldn't be a threat to us. There uh there weaponry and technology are apparently like baby toys.

[ Kara pulled Kal from the pod he had been sleeping in, bouncing the now groggy toddler in her arms. Kal whined at being woken up, pressing his head into Kara's shoulder. She laughed a little. ]

He's a deep sleeper aaand so grumpy when I wake him up.

...Do I need to conquer Earth?

"Gods, no," Kara almost laughed. "Apparently my uncle was kind of a nut job...luckily, Clark was taken in by arguably the sweetest people in the universe, so he's turned out alright..."

She watched the toddler curiously, trying to make sense of...whatever was even happening right now.

"He's so...small. Enjoy this while it lasts, if he's anything like my cousin he's gonna end up over 6 feet tall and such a morning person."

I— really wouldn't know if my uncle was a little crazed or not. For brothers, they weren't close.

[ Kara looked at her groggy little cousin. Kal-El,the boy who slept through her working making noise and fixing a ship. She laughed. ]

I don't think I could imagine him ever getting up early.

[ She smiled and gently pet her Kal's head while he woke up a little more and pouted about it before Kara piqued his interest. He stared at her for a minute before hiding his face back into his cousin's shoulder. She prompted quietly in a sing-song voice. ]

Kal-El, can you say hi?

Hii

[ he was looking at Kara while still pressing his head against his cousin. ]

"Yeah, they were...at odds a lot. From what I remember."

She watched Kal slowly start to wake up, mirroring his curiosity. It was certainly...interesting to see how another version of herself and her cousin was doing.

"Hey, maybe you're the lucky one who gets a Kal who knows how to sleep in," she teased gently.

Teaching Clark Kryptonian is fun because I'll teach him swear words without explain that they're swears and then he gets all embarrassed when he figures it out--

You're teaching him swears intentionally??? Aunt Lara would have my head.

She—still might when he starts mimicking me at her...

You're not???? Dude, you're missing out.

He's barely two cycles old! He does not need me teaching him Kryptonian military swears... Yet.

Oh we have lived very different lives-

We do? You don't seem too much older than me..

Clark is older than me by, like, a decade, man.

A decade???

So Kal held you as a baby?? That's so.. Strange

...oh we have lived very different lives.

What does that mean???

...

I didn't know my cousin until he was an adult.

What.

We were supposed to be sent to Earth together, right? I mean, Kal and I didn't make it to Earth, but you were both in the same ship—

How did you survive Krypton's explosion if Kal-El was sent first?

I...wasn't even born yet.

Like I said, different lives.

Oh. So you and Kal never.

Oh.

That—would you like to see baby Kal? He should be waking up soon?

Um...sure?

Hey wait. Weird question. His parents didn't send you two off to become "conquerors of worlds" or whatever, right?

Uh.. No..? Maybe? I found out we were being sent off 3 minutes before the planet exploded. There wasn't much time to explain.

But that is what got Krypton bombed out of existence? Emperor Zod wanted to "show those who opposed our progress and the values of Kryptonian the fear of Rao."

Earth was chosen because it's considered a primitive planet that wouldn't be a threat to us. There uh there weaponry and technology are apparently like baby toys.

[ Kara pulled Kal from the pod he had been sleeping in, bouncing the now groggy toddler in her arms. Kal whined at being woken up, pressing his head into Kara's shoulder. She laughed a little. ]

He's a deep sleeper aaand so grumpy when I wake him up.

...Do I need to conquer Earth?

"Gods, no," Kara almost laughed. "Apparently my uncle was kind of a nut job...luckily, Clark was taken in by arguably the sweetest people in the universe, so he's turned out alright..."

She watched the toddler curiously, trying to make sense of...whatever was even happening right now.

"He's so...small. Enjoy this while it lasts, if he's anything like my cousin he's gonna end up over 6 feet tall and such a morning person."

HI KARA

@emiliakanebarnes

[ @emiliakanebarnes ]

...hi?