benson wanting a short stack of pancakes and not ordering it because it doesn't come with hashbrowns, just toast. benson could've got his short stack and ordered a side of hashbrowns with it but he compromises and gets an omelette instead because that's the entree that comes with hashbrowns. tells himself and randy that they're gonna be far away from kutzburg in seven hours but deep down he knows he won't be. he knows this may be the last time he gets to order his own food or even the last time he gets to eat a meal at all. because he knows this is likely only going to end one way. with a bullet in his head or a spray of them in his chest. and yet, he still gets the omelette. he's gonna spend the whole day trying to fix randy--insisting he has to make choices, make decisions... insisting he has to want things, ask for things. and yet, benson doesn't let himself want things anymore. he works a dead end job at a fast food joint he hates because he needs the checks. he either still lives with his ma or he moved back in to take care of her, but either way, he lives with her out of inclination and necessity--not want. nothing in his life has happened the way he wanted it to. he's never gotten to make a choice that's truly his entirely. he's spent his life compromising and quietly (and angrily) accepting and bending until it all gets to be too much and he snaps. sees himself in randy that way. anyways... wonder if benson hopes randy is the kind of guy now who would go into a diner and order a short stack and ask for a side of hashbrowns anyway.
titsay
vaporwave
dailybridgerton
